2 Women Respond to Briffault's Law

I don't think this is a good advice although his heart is in the right, I would suggest people both men and women avoid it

The anecdote the woman on the right shares at the end - which Alex praises - is just beautiful. Good on her boyfriend for insisting he be treated well, and good on her for snapping out of her bad behavior toward him. I would have avoided a lot of pain if I had this 'rational self-interest' view of relationships.

Blair

I don't no, sorry. I have an unofficial list in my mind but I only recommend them to people who I think need to hear that message. Alice Miller is brilliant but only necessary for certain people. I usually end private consultations with recommendations of books that are relevant to that person's experience.

Alexander Grace

I just bought the audiobook of "The Drama of the Gifted Child" based off you recommending Ayn Rand, which I agree with. Not sure that book will resonate that much with my circumstances but hopefully it will be of some use. Do you have a recommended reading list somewhere? Cheers, Chris

Oh yes we can argue with that, I read that divorces and breakup from LTR are initiated more often by women (https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/are-women-more-likely-than-men-to-end-a-relationship/).

Hugo Matiz

Hristo, when stating something like your comment, as a response to a video like this.. I’d say it’s super important to get the words right. If you’re saying it wrong, when you’re just sharing a few words, while at the same time you try to enter the discussion from some kind of high ground as “a therapist seeing clients”.. For me it looks like it’s your subconscious speaking, stating exactly what you’re literary spelling out, and you’re totally correct. Women bail out as much as women do. Can’t argue with that.

Generally, as therapist seeing clients I can that women bail out as much as women do. Not more not less. Stop buying into this bullcrap. Alex can say what he wants but if we arent critical and accept what he suggested because it sounds "bout right" then we a freaking sheep

Hristo

I would also add on a personal note that I find it truly disturbing and disgraceful that a person would say to another "I love you forever" (or something along these lines) during a relationship, only to part ways when there are obstacles. Words have a meaning right ? So how could you say this and not expect to put up with hardship and challenges along the way of the relationship when they appear ? Did you expect that it would forever be as easy as the first time you said these words ? I went through a terrible breakup that almost killed me, and still disturbs me to this day, because the woman I loved acted this way, and she didn't share to me a word about her doubts and beliefs and there was nothing I could do. It made no sense at all to me, still doesn't, and made me lose faith in trusting somebody else in building a life with. We are talking about something very serious here. If we can just leave a relationship that we are invested in and that we put a lot of expectations into, from the transient moment we are no longer satisfied, it's obviously very problematic.

Hugo Matiz

Well stated Alex. I was just doing a video script on Briffaults Law. Your video came out at a very fortuitous time haha!

Communicate With Confidence

(This message is a repost of the original one that was deleted. Fortunately I made a copy but it would be nice to investigate what's going on) I didn't watch the reactions part but I have two observations about your explaining of the law : - I don't believe men and women love the same way, and that would explain why Briffault specifically mentioned women in his law. It seems to me that men love women for the sake of it, that they are not looking for some kind of social/financial benefit to derive from their association with them. Also, they are more invested in the relationship , in particular because it is more difficult for them to get into one (but not just out of necessity, they are also more disposed to deal with difficulties). This means that they have a sense of loyalty and commitment and they won't bail out at the first difficulties or when their needs suddenly aren't met. - Life is chaotic. There are things out of your control. I don't think that it's fair to judge a man negatively and break up with him when he experiences hardship (namely financially) while he is doing his best. Especially when he is the same man that interested her in the first place in all other regards. If he is becoming lazy, unmotivated and that he is revealing his true nature doing so is another story. What I cannot get behind are women bailing out when men face hardship they have no control over, that seems very crual and is not the same for men and women. What do you guys think ?

Hugo Matiz