Chapter 210: Britney Business Plan

"Man, it is not only about trusting you, but we think you are a very good money maker," Freddie said. "Basically, all the money I have was your idea. And it's not like I really worked hard for it..."

"Besides," Carly added, "we know you’re incredibly generous with your friends. Apart from the 'Paranormal Activity' bonus, our iCarly contract is waay out of the ordinary."

"I talked to Mikayla," she continued, "and I know she’s making around $12,000 per episode, same as ours — which is already very high from starters. That’s the same as Amanda Bynes, and she’s already pretty famous."

"We three are earning very well," Carly explained, "but unlike Mikayla or Amanda, we get a bonus."

Yeah, the three of them were listed within JD as co-producers, receiving a cut of the total profits from the show. You’d have to be a massive star to get something like that — someone like Miley Cyrus at the peak of Hannah Montana. And even then, not with the percentage these three were getting.

"Yeah, the bonus for this month is like 10 times our salary," Sam laughed.

And it was only going to grow with the rising popularity of iCarly and the merchandise sales. The show was already averaging 4.5 million viewers per episode — an undeniable hit in the teen series space.

iCarly and Wizards of Waverly Place were becoming Nickelodeon’s flagship shows. And JD had only made a one-season deal with them. 

JD paid for the full production and even paid to have it aired on Nickelodeon. But we retained full rights to the IPs. Nickelodeon only agreed due to the upfront payment — and their arrogance (maybe some executives received ‘bonuses’ too — who knows). That landscape would shift completely if JD acquired Universal.

Harvey, Pepper, Anthony and I discussed the matter. The idea was always to leverage Nickelodeon's popularity to boost both shows and then flip them the bird (eventually).

We all know MF Redstone would retaliate if/when we do that. But if we have Universal, a tactical alliance with Murdoch (he has many skeletons and is a ticking time bomb — not exactly a reliable ally, but as a temporary partner, he's one of the best for now),

and several deals with NBC (besides AGT, we’ll produce other content), GE would be a solid shield (Jeffrey Immelt is a great ally — keeps his word and isn’t the type to stab you in the back. Very corporate-style).

Besides, we’ll take on billions in debt (tax advantage, and interest rates are low — the FED keeps cutting due to 9/11), which will deepen our relationship with our bank (If you're small and can't pay your debt, it's your problem. If you're big and can't pay, it's the bank's problem), Goldman Sachs ("Government Sachs"... not by accident).

Paulson, the current CEO, is the one who became Secretary of the Treasury under Bush in 2006 — and the guy who “helped save” the banks in 2008.

"It’s totally unreal..." Britney said. She had worked for Disney when she was much younger.

"And one more thing," Cher jumped in, "we’ve met basically your entire family. We know that all of this," she gestured at the room, meaning the whole house, "could only have come from you."

"Wow, Cher, I might have to take you off the lost cause list. You might still have salvation," I joked.

She gave me the bird.

"If something happens and you lose everything, I just need to do another deal like Pepsi," Britney said as if she had it all under control.

I walked over to her and squished her head between my fists again. "Like hell I would let you do that again."

"Hey, you did and do the same with Monster," she retorted, pulling at my cheeks.

"That's because I own a piece of it. I made twenty times more than you did with Pepsi," I said.

"Woow," she muttered, clearly impressed.

That gave me an idea (and reminded me of a past case). I gave Britney a wicked grin.

"Fufufu... now that you’re in my hands, let’s squish every single cent out of you, Brit. I have two ideas. And one of them we need to move quickly to set up at Tomorrowland."

I started typing a message to Pepper:

'Buy VitaminWater, the company (don’t know the name). 49.9% for Britney, 50.1% for us. She’ll be the main face of the brand. Maybe we can bring in Tom Brady as the male counterpart. Add a percentage-of-sales bonus.'

Tom was still on a rookie contract, making around $375k per year. We couldn’t just pay him a fat commercial fee, or the league would think it’s an off-book salary. But a small flat fee plus performance-based bonus on net revenue? That was acceptable — and if the product exploded, no one would really question it.

"What idea?" Britney asked.

"You’ll be the face of a vitamin water brand," I replied, giving her a thumbs up.

"Really?" she said with a mix of skepticism and disbelief.

"Since you’ve been voted the sexiest woman alive, let’s use that to our advantage."

"Okay, if you say so," she nodded.

My eyes twitched. No wonder she got ripped off so easily.

"That one’s for Tomorrowland, right? Festivals need water just as much as they need alcohol," Regina chimed in. "What’s the second idea for Brit?"

"Cosmetics! Perfume, lipstick, skincare — we’re building the Britney brand," I said.

"Woow! I’m getting my own cosmetics line?! What brand?" Britney asked excitedly, grabbing both of my arms.

"No licensing. We’re making your own brand from scratch," I explained.

Pepper already had this idea last year — not necessarily for Britney. We already had several prototypes developed by Firmenich and Givaudan (fragrance creators). Everything was prepped and ready for launch — just needing to align the portfolio to Britney’s image.

We had prototypes for many types of cosmetics. Pepper was only waiting to pick the first celeb — Christina Aguilera, Jennifer Lopez, and Beyoncé were all potential breakout successes too.

Pepper really had vision. Even before I said anything, she was prepping. I just confirmed this had explosive potential. (Selena Gomez and Rihanna would later launch their own brands too, if I remembered right.)