http://www.idontevenownatelevision.com/2016/08/22/da-vinci-code-lauren-oneal-niko/
It had to happen eventually! Maybe the best-selling bad book of all time, The Da Vinci Code builds in all the thrills of a freshman-year art history survey course taught by a smug dink, all the chills of that smug dink taking time to instruct his students on the finer points of sex-making, and all the ills of a reductive interpretation of great art delivered in prose so wooden Abraham Lincoln would say "Damn. I surely would like to split them rails."