EULOGY. For Patron Eyes Only!

Hello lovely patrons!

Thank you for your patience. We would like to reveal the next "thing", the music video for the song 'Eulogy'.

We hope you enjoy it!

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Here's a few words from Mishkin about the song:

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Forbes and myself directed this video one sunny afternoon in Brighton, featuring only myself, and a bottle of Jim Beam.  As always, we got some funny looks.

I edited it myself while in New Zealand, filming the final scene in a graveyard in Auckland. It turned out beautifully. What do you reckon? 

So anyway... this song is very close to my heart. When I wrote it, I meant every word and it actually got me through a very tough time. 

As some of may know I've recently gone 'public' about my depression in an interview with Psychology Today. It was a terrifying experience as I've always been quite guarded with my personal life, and I've always felt like I shouldn't be depressed. 

When I look at my life and all the things I've been able to do, I feel like I should be grateful, and I truly, truly am. However, my depression is not something I have control over. No matter how hard I work, how much I achieve, how healthy I am or how many friends I have, it's always there. 

Sometimes it's controllable and I can go whole weeks where it doesn't seem to bother me. Other times it's crippling and I can't shake it off. I've had to cancel work commitments, call my husband home from work, sometimes spend whole days in bed, or drinking alone. I've been suicidal, had panic attacks, self-harmed, self-medicated and many times felt like I've just been losing my mind.

The sad thing is, I'm very, very good at hiding all of this. I've been doing it for years. And it really hasn't helped me. 

Over the last few years (and mostly because of all the amazing and supportive people I have around me), I've been tentatively becoming more and more open about depression, and reaching out to my friends for help. Funnily enough, most of them suffer from some form of mental illness too, so I've never really been alone with this, I'd just chosen to be. 

Anyway, enough is enough and I've finally decided after all these years of keeping it secret, to let it all go and be completely open about it.

This video is me, playing myself, on a really really bad day. It's me showing what I can be like at my worst. It's me saying I don't want to hide away anymore and tell everyone I'm fine and put on a brave face. There is no shame in admitting you're struggling. In fact, doing so is not only liberating, but essential to healing too. It's no mystery I suffer from depression, anyone who listens to my lyrics can hear that. But admitting it outside of the cover of song-writing is something I've always found scary. 

I'm lucky enough to have music as an outlet and a way to channel my emotions. I'm lucky enough to be in a band with my best friends, and we look out for each other.

I'm also hugely grateful to have all of you, helping to support this project. It's been my dream to form a band since I can remember, and having it be a reality, every day, is frankly... AMAZING.

Ok! Enough seriousness. I hope you enjoy the video, and if you want to reach out to me, leave a comment or email/facebook me. You know I always love to hear from you <3