Change Is Coming. Let's Talk About It.

Hey guys, hope y'all are doing well. Sit down... let's talk for a bit.

I'm gonna start by telling you what's been going on in my personal life. I promise this is not just a bunch of excuses as to why more delays are coming... I'm going somewhere with this.

Over the past month, I have hit an absolutely EXTRAORDINARY run of bad luck, including but not limited to my bike getting stolen, my car blowing a tire, several appliances in my apartment breaking, losing my wallet, and getting a spider bite that paralyzed my right arm for a week, rendering me unable to do much of anything. After all of that stuff happened to me back to back, I was at the absolute end of my rope, and decided that I needed to take a break, not just from work, but from everything.

Over the past week or so, I've let myself completely relax, giving myself time to cook healthy meals, see my friends, and begin coding a video game that I've been planning out for years as a passion project. Truth be told, this is literally the first time in seven years that I let myself not think about my channel, even when I had nothing else going on. That might seem strange, considering that there have been many times where I've gone months without uploading, but those were all times that I was trying to get projects off the ground, but life events kept weighing me down (I'm not gonna go into specifics about what happened in 2022 and 2023, I've said it all before).

So yeah, I ended up taking a break and not thinking about the channel, and you know what? I felt happy. Like... REALLY happy. I felt that an enormous weight had been lifted off of me when I stopped thinking about Diamond Axe Studios Music. When that happened, I realized just how much my constant failiure to run this channel on a consistent basis was weighing on me. I realized that this channel, which I started as a passion project that I loved, had become something that was stressing me out, and... frankly, making me miserable. And that's when I knew something had to change.

Now, before anything else, let me make one thing 100% clear: I am not quitting. I am not scaling my efforts on this channel back. Quite the opposite, in fact.

I still absolutely fucking LOVE music discussion and analysis, and I love the art of video making just as much now as I ever did. I know that my problem is not this channel itself, it's the way I've set things up on here. I've given it a lot of thought, and here are the changes I've decided I'm going to make.

CHANGE #1: Seasonal Rankings Are Paused

Upon reflection, I've realized that my seasonal rankings are the primarily culprit responsible for making running this channel so miserable. I've reformatted the series about a half dozen times since the start of 2021, trying to make it work, but I've realized that it's just not feasible in it's current form. These videos require very tight deadlines, and they sap the life out of me, taking my energy away from other projects. I haven't been able to get a retro Worst List out in three years, because every time the insanity in my life has granted me an opening, I've felt obligated to use it on the seasonal rankings. These videos have become a massive burden for me, and to top it all off, they draw in far fewer viewers than my Top 10 lists and have virtually no staying power outside their window of relevance.

My original plan was to scrap the series entirely, and replace it with some version of a solo fan ranking, maybe combined with some sort of podcast-style video. However, Ethan strongly advocated for me to keep the series alive, and offered to help me workshop it into a format that's easier to manage. I trust his judgement, and so I'm willing to give the series one more try. That said, I'm still going to put a pause on this series, at least until the end of 2024... as I'll discuss in the rest of this piece, I have a lot of other stuff I need to get in order, and I'd like to achieve the balance I'm looking for before I add something as demanding as Seasonal Rankings back into the mix.

For those of you who have submitted to the fan rankings for these videos, I am very sorry. Your submissions have been fantastic, and I promise that I will use them for something at some point in the future, I will NOT let them go to waste.

CHANGE #2: Making Up My Deficit

The first time I charged you guys for a video before it was completed was in the Summer of 2022. I expected that this would be a one-time situation, since I just needed a little bit of extra time, which I figured I would get soon once life got a bit less hectic. I did not expect that hectic period to continue essentially uninterrupted for more than two straight years, and throughout all that time, I continued needing money to live. I asked you guys if I could charge early for videos, and I recieved resounding support, meaning that I am now in significant deficit to you, my Patrons.

I’d like to now take a moment to thank you, my Patrons, for being absolute angels on Earth about this situation. Even as I continue to charge you in advance, none of you have bothered or peseterd me about it, even though you are 100% within your right to. The amount of patience and understanding you've shown to me in my time of need is truly more than I’m able to comprehend, and I want you to know that the grace you've afforded me is not taken for granted whatsoever. Words are not sufficient to express my gratitude, and so, rather than using words, I’ve been grinding my ass off over the past several months behind the scenes to create as many of the videos I owe as possible.

The videos I owe that are currently completed are: 2022 Year-End Ranking (Pt1), 2022 Year-End Ranking (Pt2), 2023 Year-End Ranking (Pt1), 2023 Year-End Ranking (Pt 2), and 2017 Year-End Ranking (Pt 2)

The videos I owe which I still need to finish are: Best of 2022 (Pt 1), Best of 2022 (Pt 2), Best of 2023 (Pt 1), Best of 2023 (Pt 2), Grab Bag Reviews #9, Grab Bag Reviews #10.

All of the remaining videos are in various stages of completion.

The videos I owe have been weighing on me for the entirety of the past two years. Every time I have to upcharge again, I feel more and more guilty, and it's gotten to the point where it's having a debilitating effect on my mental health. Therefore...

CHANGE #3: No Other Videos In 2024 EXCEPT the ones I owe

To that end, I AM PUTTING ALL OTHER VIDEO PRODUCTION ON PAUSE until I complete every last one of the videos I owe you guys. I will warn you in advance, that I might need to charge a couple more times in advance; I still do need to pay rent, after all. However, now that I am devoting my full energy to making up what I owe, I will be reducing the deficit far more quickly than I will be adding to it. I'd like to give a big shoutout to Lux99, who's been assisting me with the editing on these videos, and without whom this climb out of debt would not be possible.

As soon as the owed videos are done, I will be making them available to all Patrons, of every level.

They will be exclusive for a time to $10 Patrons, as per their tier reward, and after that time, they will be available to all Patrons, of every level. Rather than slowly drip-feeding the owed videos out to the public as I finish them, I feel much better about the idea of finishing them all privately, and then releasing them publicly all at once in a big comeback marathon. I'd rather fix the problem privately and then get it all off my chest at once, rather than projecting the idea that I'm constantly playing catchup onto the main channel.

My ultimate goal is that, by the time List Season 2024 rolls around, I will be 100% caught up with everything I owe you guys. This is something I am desperately looking forward to, not only because I'll finally have given you guys everything you've paid for, but also because...

CHANGE #4: 2025 Is When We Start Fresh

My goal is for 2025 to mark a new beginning for Diamond Axe Studios Music. The past few years have had their ups and downs for me personally, but they've been hellish for the channel, as I tried and failied to keep up production at a time in my life when it simply wasn't viable. In May of 2025, I'm going to be graduating from grad school, and after that, my life as a fully independent adult will fully start. I do intend to find work in the film industry, but my #1 priority for 2025 is to enter a new renaissance for this channel. With my deficit made up, I intend to put the misery of the past few years behind me, and start making more of the videos that I love making and that you all love watching.

I want to make Worst and Best lists for 2012 and 1999. I want to start a new series counting down the 1000 biggest songs in American history. I want to make more episodes of Hits of History and put all that polling data I've been gathering to good use. I want to make #1 hits rankings for the remaining decades. I want to make videos about the discography of individual artists. I want to get a collab with a friend I've been planning for years off the ground. I want to make video essays about the history of chart calculations and other niche topics. I want to revive Grab Bag Reviews and give my Top Patrons the rewards they deserve. I want to slam into overdrive in 2025, and turn Diamond Axe Studios into the vibrant hub for pop music discussion the way it was always meant to be. I'm going to do all of this with a new level of self-awarness, being careful to take breaks and give myself proper grace and self-care along the way. It's gonna be great, and it's gonna happen soon.

The future is bright, and so I ask all of you to please sit tight through the end of 2024, and just bear with me for a little longer. I love you all, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for allowing me to continue doing this. Links to the five completed videos will be posted for all Patrons of every level very soon.

Talk to you later,

-Sean