Almost no content this week, we'll probably be back next week.

Hey, just checking in to talk to you for a short while.

Saw Ben's post (AutoSave) and that inspired me to drop a bit something. It's been a year now that I started doing reactions. And it's certainly has been a fun one. Lots of interesting series I was happy to watch - even the ones that not so many people were ultimately interested in. Even those episodes where people skipped. Cause in the end it's not about the views. The views are just there to mark my progress. They're just a means to an end. That end being that I reach more people, can connect with more of you. Share views and feelings and maybe tell you something interesting here and there. Open your eyes for the fine details of art, animation, directing, psychology. Make everybody see that psychology exists in everything that humans are involved in. And maybe also learn a little bit something from you all along the way. Things I didn't know, make experiences I haven't made before. See the world with different eyes. That is the great part of it, that's the light side.

But where there is light, there is shadows. You can fill a room completely with light, every corner, but if you manage to do that it's probably because the room is completely empty. Or worst case you are blinded by the light and keep running into things. Shadows create depth. They define us in a way. But they are also terribly dark. Terrifying, Hurtful. Because we hurt ourselves when we don't know where we are going.

For the past year, for most of it at least, it felt like I was basking in light. You can see that in many ways. Basking in the limelight, maybe. Bursting with energy. The light was set on my goals, and I probably reached most of them. And although they are just tiny steps on the way each of them felt good to reach. For a while now though the shadows have been creeping up. It's subtle really. The little corners of your field of vision narrowing in, smearing. Your peripherals loosing their sharpness. I'm starting to get boxed in. It feels like when you make a desparate beeline for a closing door. Like you're moving against time itself. Like you fight for your life to stay afloat. Lately everything blurs around me, everything but the goal in sight. And yet Im so on edge, the cosmic background noise of the universe bleeds out all the things that are out of my sight, but right next to me. Real life interactions, friends, leisurely activity. Safety sometimes. Like in 3-gatsu episode 10 when Rei starts running. There is a line I love from a game that I used to play so many times I forgot to count. "Songs the color of oily shadows". If you know the game, shoutout to you.

But yea, I guess this is a bit of writing therapy for me.

I feel lost lately, like in my sprint I closed my eyes and perception so far I lost track of where I am. And yet I was desperate to run on. Some unknown force driving me forward. As if I would die the moment I stopped. Like everything would break apart.

Sometimes I forget that we're all human. Sometimes I forget that Im not supposed to be this perfect machine that keeps on working. Sometimes I forget that having flaws is alright. But I shouldn't. And I don't want to.

The bottom line is, I'm stressed. And it is killing me (not literally dw, although if you know psychology then....). There no real big schedule changes coming. All I'm saying is there is little content in the next 2 weeks.

We'll finish up Monogatari, that will be posted. We are probably gonna do ReZero s3 e3 and 4 together end of next week, could be later than Sunday though, we'll see.

I'll take my time and slowly produce content again. You can expect stuff like Monster, Texhnolyze, Disco Elysium, etc. to be starting back up early November. But I also want to take a bit of time for my friends that I've been neglecting too long and I really don't want to loose them. Cause I really love each and every one of them.

We might start up Arcane s1 at some point in Nov, we'll see. Since Season 2 is airing in a few weeks.
I might do Over the Garden Wall in late-late October. Lmk if you'd like that. Both of those I mean.

See you soon, and take care.