Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 36

Jamie’s trip to Manda’s university to participate in a classroom lecture had become a once-a-semester ritual. He’d gotten to like the professor, Dr. Stern. Every semester, the students had the same questions, more or less, and Jamie and Dr. Stern had a good patter of give and take, not rehearsed, just experienced.

Jamie had never been to the university to observe a lecture before, and he was flattered by Manda’s invitation. Other students in her new program, including first-years, would be there. Other littles would not, and in fact were not allowed. Professor Stern made sure the door staff knew to let Jamie in with Amanda. And Amanda felt proud to have Jamie with her, and self-conscious that she’d have the only little in the audience. She didn’t say so, but she knew his behavior would be scrutinized. That Jamie never misbehaved, at least publicly, reassured her, but she couldn’t shake that feeling that every amazon has when taking their little to an event, no matter what an angel they are: please be good.

The lecture wasn’t the issue, though Jamie did find it boring. The visiting professor who delivered it said some things Jamie resented and some other things he thought were wrong. He alternated between listening quietly and being bored quietly, mostly the latter. What he didn’t know was that as he sat there, word spread that an unregressed little was in the audience. Most people didn’t care, but some, especially the graduate students, wanted to see the exotic creature. Since he was the only little there, Jamie couldn’t hide.

Once the lecture was over – Jamie didn’t join in the applause, the closest he came to naughtiness that whole week – the students and some hangers on drifted to a conference room down the hall for a reception.

“This looks like receptions from when I was in grad school,” Jamie said to Amanda while seated on her hip surveying the food choices.

“How’s that?”

“Underfunded.”

“Ha! You are too much sometimes.” He held the plates while she filled them with light fare for an evening snack. He’d be home past his bedtime but had taken an extra nap late in the afternoon. They didn’t care much about socializing, Jamie especially. They were in it for free cookies and to make an appearance. Jamie did wish he could have a glass of wine, though, even if it was plonk.

Amanda didn’t remember all that much from her first-year psychology course, but she did remember the Cocktail Party Effect, the tendency of the brain to pick out certain words in a crowd when most words are unintelligible, to whit the word “unregressed.” Jamie heard it too, whispered quietly and then less quietly. Amanda looked around for Professor Stern, and when she turned around again, six people were there.

“Amanda, right,” a woman Manda’s age asked. “I’m Jill. I’m in your cohort.”

“Hi. Nice to meet you,” Amanda said with a forced smile. She shrugged by way of apologizing for not shaking hands. One had Jamie and the other now had her plate.

“We heard a rumor he’s not regressed. Is that true,” an overeager student asked.

“My name is James,” Jamie replied for himself. He never had patience for being talked about by strangers when he was right there.

“So is he,” the girl asked again.

“You can talk to him,” Amanda said.

“Yes,” he said. “You’ve never met one, have you?”

Heads shook.

“It’s like seeing a unicorn,” someone whispered. “You know they exist, but you never see one.”

“Well, here I am,” Jamie said. “Wait, what?” No one paid that any mind. People started asking questions.

“Is he smart?”

“What does he do all day?”

“How closely do you need to watch him?”

“Is it true they can be dangerous?”

A few more people joined the growing semicircle that was forming and beginning to surround them. Regular people wouldn’t care that much; plenty of people had learned Jamie was unregressed and didn’t pay him any mind. But first-year grad students are known for getting overexcited when the subject of their studies is right in front of them. He figured they must be students from the area, like Amanda, because the semester was still a ways away.

Amanda backed up, and her thighs bumped against the buffet table. A person pushed through the circle, and without even an excuse me, he was reaching toward Jamie.

“Hey!” Jamie and Amanda both shouted simultaneously as she turned away from the stranger and put her free arm over Jamie.

The man stopped and looked embarrassed. “Oh! Sorry. I was ...” he reached again, this time more around Manda. She jerked away slightly again. “... cupcakes. I was reaching for ... want one?”

Jamie felt oddly passive. He’d only ever been the center of this much big attention once. Being surrounded by giants made him nervous. “Manda,” he whispered but didn’t need to as she was already at her own breaking point, which was never far ahead where Jamie was concerned.

“Space! Alright, just give us some space! Geez...” Amanda walked forward aggressively, leading with the hip Jamie wasn’t riding on, and made room for them. “Learn some freakin’ manners,” she said under her breath. She was trying to balance her temper with her need to not alienate her fellow students or make a scene. She put on the nicest face she could. “We have to be going. Nice meeting you all.”

As she turned around, she bumped into Dr. Stern, who was glad to see they had come. “Jamie! Amanda! I didn’t see you come in. I was hoping you guys would come tonight. What did you think?”

“How many eyes are watching me right now,” he whispered.

“What?”

“All those students ... They look like they wanna do experiments on me.”

Amanda kept her voice down. “Think some folks are a little too excited by Jamie. Apparently someone told them he’s not regressed.”

“Oh. Well, never mind them. Would you like to meet Dr. Zora?” The speaker. “She’d love to meet you.” Amanda did want to, but she’d do whatever Jamie wanted to. She felt obligated, as a first-year but more as someone who wasn’t so much a student now was as a kind of professional student, to play the game.

“Sure,” he said. “For a minute.”

“Did you enjoy it, Amanda,” Stern asked.

“Yeah. It was interesting.” It wasn’t a big conference room.

Stern interrupted someone and tapped the speaker on the shoulder. “Dr. Zora, Sorry to interrupt. Someone I’d like you to meet.”

The woman stuck out her hand to Amanda. “Nice to meet you ...”

“Amanda. And actually, he meant James ... Right?”

“Yes,” Stern said. “This is James. He’s not regressed. He guests for me once a semester.”

“Interesting. Nice to meet you, James. Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”

Jamie did the math in his head and decided to be polite instead of honest. “Yes. You had some interesting points to make.” He’d have been more specific but he didn’t actually remember much. He hadn’t been paying that close attention.

Amanda looked at Zora, the group of people still looking at them, and Jamie. She knew what he really thought, and she was tempted to say it herself. She understood the necessity of it, but she didn’t like Jamie not speaking his mind. She did it when she had to, but in this case it felt like he was having to submit to a particular view of littles neither of them agreed with just to be polite.

“What did you think of my theory of little cultural advancement? Does it align with your own observations as a native?”

“We prefer the term ‘human,’” Jamie said before he could just call that interesting, too. “And while ‘current’ to you might mean the last fifty years, to us it means more like five.”

“Well, sometimes it takes an outsider’s perspective to understand these things, sweetie.”

Jamie tucked the inside of his lower lip between his teeth and bit down as he exhaled harshly through his nose. “Or having actually been there,” he spat out tersely. He at least kept himself from calling her “honey bunch” and saved the epithets for later. It wasn’t even so much her erroneous ideas as her rudeness that got to him. People are allowed to be wrong. They’re not allowed to be rude.

“Okay,” Stern said, breaking the impasse. “Well, a battle of the experts,” he said diplomatically. “Sorry to have interrupted you. Jamie, Amanda?” He put an arm behind Amanda’s shoulder without touching her, and the three of them walked away.

“Condescending ... person,” Jamie said.

“Dr. Itawa likes her,” Stern said. “Of course, she canceled at the last minute and asked me to fill in. Sorry.”

“Excuse me,” a woman said as she approached from the group of students who once more seemed fascinated and hopeful. The young woman took a cookie, broke it in half, and gave half to Jamie, who accepted it and regarded it strangely. He looked at Amanda, whose eyebrows arched to say, I dunno. Even Stern looked puzzled.

“Um,” Jamie said, “that’s ... Thank you.” He leaned over and dropped the cookie on the corner of a table. He didn’t want to eat a cookie handed to him by a stranger. Who would?

“Oh my gosh, did I do it wrong,” the woman asked.

“Do what wrong,” Amanda asked.

“Apologize. That’s how littles do it, right? The supplicant makes an offering of half their cookie to the wronged party?”

“That’s ...” Jamie pinched his eyes. He couldn’t exactly fault her. Regressed littles use cookies to mean a lot of things. He even did it from time to time with a regressed little or when he was trying to be cute. “Unregressed littles apologize by saying, ‘I’m sorry,’ or if they want to be formal about it, they’ll say, ‘I apologize,’ or something similar. And you can talk to me. Actually, I’m gonna have to insist on it,” he said, trying to smile, as the woman kept glancing at Amanda for approval or verification.

“Oh. In that case, we apologize.”

“Thank you.” He held in a yawn. Amanda felt it. These people were exhausting.

“It is getting late for him,” Amanda said. “I need to get him home.”

“We understand.”

“Mind telling everyone bye for me? I’ll see you guys close to when the semester starts.”

“Of course. Goodnight, James.”

“Goodnight,” he said.

“Nice seeing you again,” Dr. Stern said. “Sorry for the ... evening. I didn’t know, well... Obvious, I guess.”

“It’s alright. Not your fault. Enjoy the rest of the summer,” Jamie said.

“Okay,” Jamie said when they were out of the building, “what the fuck? I mean, seriously. I mean, you and Mom were never like that.”

“I guess it’s just like super fans meeting their favorite celebrity for the first time or something.” Acting like star struck weirdos, and then trying to make it up for and acting like even bigger weirdos, she thought.

“Sorry if I ... I hope what I said to that lecturer won’t cause you any problems down the road.” He well remembered the politics of an academic department.

“Dr. Itawa is emeritus. She’s got some influence, but it’s mostly just respect for her longevity at this point. Her research has been outdated for a while. Anyway, Stern is more important.”

“Why don’t you invite your cohort over for a barbecue or something? They’re probably normal when you get to know them.”

“I hope so. Gonna be spending a lot of time with them for the next few years. But you don’t have to do that for me.”

“No, I’d like to. I wanna hear more about these supposed unicorns,” he yawned.

“Ready for bed,” Manda asked and stroked his hair.

He leaned against her and sighed, resting his face against her flank and crossing his arms around her. “Thanks for protecting me from Cupcake Guy. And shouting at everyone. My hero,” he laughed and yawned again.

“Sleepy bear.” She kissed the top of his head.