Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 31

“Thanks for agreeing to talk with me,” Jamie said as he sat in the chair opposite the couch, where Becky was seated. Becky was thrown by his formality, something he did a lot less of since his arrival, when he tended to want to talk like this, seated opposite each other as if in a business meeting.

“Of course,” Becky replied, trying to lighten the tone, “What’s up?”

Jamie cleared his throat. “I don’t ask for much, as I think you’ll agree. I go with the flow. I let it ride. I take life as it comes. I’m easy to please. I’m...”

“Jamie.”

“Sorry. Anyway, it’s, um, about that monitor you put in my room. I’d like you to, um, take it out. Please.”

Becky was a bit taken aback, and amused. “Why is that, honey?”

“Um, well, it’s just, I kinda feel like, um, I don’t have much, um, privacy anymore.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Sure! We got by without it. I’ll just return it.”

“Thank you,” Jamie said with a sigh of relief.

“Is that all?”

“Yeah.”

“You were so nervous about that?” Becky crossed the room and picked up Jamie. “You silly bear. You shouldn’t be afraid to ask for anything ever,” she assured him as she hugged him. At least he could tell Ella he was right about it. Or was she right? Best not to say either way, except to tell her it was gone.

“I know. I just... still don’t like asking for things.”

“We’ll go get it right now.” She carried him into the nursery and took the monitor, setting it on the floor outside the door. “It’s almost your bedtime.” Becky sat him on the changing table and got a diaper cover from his dresser, the only thing he ever wore to bed in the summertime.

“Where’s Manda tonight,” Jamie asked.

“Out.”

He grimaced. “Is there a reason no one will tell me? Is she dating someone?” He assumed she was, and given his history with that he couldn’t fault them for keeping it from him. But he wanted them to know he was okay with it. He wanted to make it easier for her and thought her knowing he was fine with it, and that she didn’t need to treat it like a secret, would help with that. “I won’t be upset,” he promised and mostly believed.

“Well, I think she should tell you,” Becky begged off. Jamie sighed as Becky started to get him changed into his PJs.

“How come you never date anyone,” Jamie asked and instantly regretted.

“Um .... huh.” Becky hadn’t seen that coming. “I guess I, well, I guess I have enough happiness in my life with you and Manda.”

“What about when Amanda moves out?”

“Well, I don’t know.” Jamie didn’t want to share her – what if she started dating and fell in love with someone who had young kids or a little? – but he didn’t want her to be lonely either. “Lift your butt.” She slid the cover into place over his fresh diaper and held her hands out to help him sit up. “Comfy?”

“Mhmm.” Becky could tell he was thinking and thought she knew what about. She picked him and sat down in the rocker with him.

“Wanna tell me what you’re thinking about?”

“Not really,” Jamie demurred.

“Do I need to tickle it out of you like Manda does,” she asked while lightly tickling him under his chin. “Or I can just guess? No one is ever going to be more important to me than you and Amanda, Baby Bear. You know that, right?”

“That wasn’t what I was thinking about.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No. I was thinking when Manda moves out, I don’t want you to be lonely. On days when I’m staying at her house.”

Becky blinked and held her breath. “That’s ... I don’t ... It’s my job to take care of you, remember,” she said as her voice quavered. “You shouldn’t worry about me.” She put him on her shoulder and held him tight to herself.

“But I do anyway.”

“You wanna sleep in my bed tonight,” she ask, trying to change the subject. She was much more comfortable discussing what he wanted and needed than what she wanted and needed. That he thought of her in that way made her teary.

“Yeah.”

“Want your bear?” She stood up and flipped through the blankets in his crib looking for it.

“He needs his diaper changed,” Jamie said when she found it.

“Is he wet,” Becky asked, amused at his sudden playfulness.

“No. I mean he’s just been wearing the same one for a while. It’s all disheveled.”

“O,” she chuckled. “We can get him a new package when we return the monitor tomorrow. And maybe we can find a new toy for you, too. Or some fun outfits.”

Becky carried Jamie and his bear upstairs while Jamie yawned. “You wanna stay up,” she asked him. She wouldn’t mind the company, even if it was just watching TV on her bed together.

“I’ll try if you want,” he said sleepily.

Becky placed the bear on the side of the bed she didn’t sleep on, what had become Jamie’s side, and sat down on her side, laying back mostly flat and positioning Jamie face down on top of her. She opened her blouse for him. He smiled weakly and moved himself to latch on while Becky reached for her TV remote.

After a few minutes, she felt Jamie stop.

“You awake buddy,” she whispered. She got no response, planted a kiss on the top of Jamie’s head, and ran her nails up and down his back the way he liked.

She reflected on what he had said about being lonely. She hadn’t thought about it like that, but she did sometimes think about what it would be like to be an empty nester a few nights a week. She figured she’d get closer to Kazoo and he to her. As for dating, she hadn’t been on one in over a year and hadn’t had a relationship since Manda was still in secondary school. She didn’t give much thought to after Manda moved out beyond how it would change Jamie’s routine and how she’d need to manage that, though she knew it would be hard on her. It already was, but it was manageable because the work of making it happen was distracting her. For now it was enough to find an affordable place for them, which she knew they had to figure out soon or likely wait until the next semester.

She set Jamie next to her and stood up to put on her own pajamas even though it was still light out. She wasn’t going anywhere. She picked up Jamie’s ratty, old bear and looked it over. It did need a new diaper, and while a bath would go a long way, what it really needed was a new coat. She made a mental note to ask Jamie if he’d let her sew it a new one and take him to the fabric store to pick out what he wanted. She’d never sewn a coat for a teddy bear before, but she thought she’d be able to.

He stirred in his sleep, and she had a selfish thought. She nudged him gently. And again. And again, and he woke up.

“Awake so soon,” she asked innocently.

“Muhsuhbuhduh,” he mumbled and dug his face into the covers.

“You want some ice cream?”

“What?”

“Or we could bake some cookies.”

“How long was I asleep?”

“About twenty minutes.”

He looked at her. If he couldn’t sleep, she’d move him to a different bed, lay down with him, let him nurse, or sing to him. She never invited him to have a snack or start baking. “Are you bored,” he asked.

“No. I just figured if you weren’t tired enough to sleep yet...” She felt guilty, but not guilty enough to come clean.

He understood, and while he didn’t want to get out of bed, he didn’t want to leave her hanging if she was lonely.

“Would you read to me?”

“Yeah! I’ll go get your book, and I’ll make you a bottle of water. How does that sound?”

“I’ll be here.”

By the time Becky got back upstairs, Jamie was curled around her pillow asleep again. She wasn’t mean enough to wake him a second time. Instead she picked him up gently and laid him down on top of her again. He instinctively snuggled into her, and she could feel his little heart beating against her.

“It will be hard,” she whispered to him, “but you don’t worry about that. You just be happy, and I’ll be happy.”