Done Adulting Vol. 2 Ch. 5

“So what are we not going to do again,” Manda asked Jamie. He stood in front of her as she sat on the sofa, her hands on his shoulders, trying to look suitably contrite and not overly happy to be out of the corner.

“Leave the yard without asking permission,” Jamie replied, trying his best to sound earnestly ashamed. “I’m sorry.” He’d walked over to the neighbor’s house to see if Amy was home yet. If she was, he was going to invite her over to play football with him. If she wasn’t, he was going to come right back. Either way, he thought he’d be back before Manda went looking for him.

“I know, Jamie Bear,” Manda said as she pulled him in for a hug. “I don’t like you putting you in time out.”

“Me neither.” Jamie could close his eyes and picture that corner of the family room in detail. He had decided a long time ago to view discipline and consequences as a transaction. He never got in much trouble, and what trouble he did get into was dealt with by the ever gentle and loving Becky or Manda. A little corner time, an early bedtime, a withheld dessert, a toy taken away or a privilege revoked were sometimes a cost he was willing to accept to do what he wanted, which only rarely were things he wasn’t supposed to. He only ever felt truly punished when he was disciplined for doing something he didn’t think he’d get in trouble for and thus hadn’t decided whether the punishment was worth it.

Manda And Becky didn’t seem to catch on, assuming as bigs do that littles just have a hard time remembering how to behave themselves and what they are and aren’t allowed to do. They were patient, firm, and fair. They expected Jamie to misbehave more this time of year when his routine from daycare was broken, knowing they’d need to stand him in his naughty spot more often than usual until he got used to the routine of summer vacation. They were thankful he rarely ever needed more than a quick fifteen minutes on his naughty spot to get the point across, and they only resorted to that after warnings and lesser punishments or for repeat offenses, like leaving the yard.

“How did you know I’d left anyway,” Jamie asked.

“Kaz was barking at the fence.”

“Traitor,” Jamie grumbled.

“He just wants you to be safe,” Manda said, “like I do.”

“I know. I’m sorry I made you worry.”

“You said that already,” she said, picking him up and giving him a kiss as she did. “and I forgive you. Why don’t we get on with our day?”

“Okay.”

“With a bath first. Just look at these dirty feetsies! You look like you don’t own shoes. People are gonna think we mistreat you!” They were both still used to getting up early, but without anywhere to go until later, he and Manda didn’t get dressed very quickly. He’d wandered over to Amy’s in his jammies barefoot.

In the bathroom, Manda turned on the tap and laid Jamie on the rug while the tub filled. He lifted his hips to let her pull his shorts off. “I know what we’re doing today,” Manda said.

“What?”

“Feeding you water. Your weewee is yucky. I can see it through your diapee!” Amanda seemed to take a lot of interest in the color of what came out of him, and Jamie knew she meant it. She’d have him drinking water until he was peeing clear. She rolled up the disheveled night diaper.

“I am kinda thirsty,” he said as she helped him sit up and took his shirt off. She pulled it halfway and stopped with it still covering his face.

“O no,” she cried.

“What,” he said through his shirt.

“Where did Jamie go? I can’t see him!”

“I’m right here,” he giggled.

“Who said that? Who’s pretending to be my Jamie Bear?”

“It’s me!”

“I hope he didn’t go back to Amy’s. He’ll be in so much trouble...”

“I didn’t! I’m right here!” He tried to shake the shirt the rest of the way off, and Manda gripped it tighter and held it in place.

“Is that really Jamie in there?”

“Yes, really!”

“How do I know?”

“Because I said so!”

“I know how to tell for sure! Only Jamie Bears are ticklish here,” Manda said as she released the shirt and went after Jamie’s tummy and underarms with her fast fingers. Jamie tried to clamp his arms down, which only kept him trapped in his jammy shirt and didn’t her hands from finding their targets.

“Hehehehehehehe,” he laughed as he fell backward on the rug. “Manda! Hehehe! Stop! Hehehe!” She stopped but put her hand on his chest to keep him from sitting back up.

“Say it: whose bear are you?”

“Yours!”

“And don’t you forget it,” Amanda said as she pulled him back up and whipped off his shirt to reveal a smiling Jamie with a tear streak running down each of his flushed cheeks.

“One day I’m gonna get you back for all the times you did that,” he vowed with delight.

“Not today, though,” Amanda said as she put him in the tub and turned off the tap. He set his toy boat afloat as she put the soap to work.

“So what are we gonna do today,” he asked as she washed his back.

“Go shopping for summer stuff.”

“Like what?”

“Bathing suits, maybe some pool toys. Sunscreen.”

“What’s wrong with my old bathing suit,” he asked as he put his foot on the edge of the tub for her to scrub his leg.

“It’s all faded from the sun.”

“That’s how you know it was a good summer,” he rejoined.

“What was your favorite part of last summer?”

Jamie had lots of favorite parts. They were hard to pick from. He thought his most favorite was probably sneaking off with Ella during Stacy’s solstice barbecue. It felt extra special, and Jamie wasn’t sure if it was the heightened chance of being caught in the act by all those bigs or the thrill of just being sneaky. But Jamie didn’t want to tell Manda about that.

“That time Donna fell asleep on the beach, and me and Rosie buried her under the sand,” Jamie tittered.

“Ha! I’d forgotten about that.”

“Remember what she said when she woke up?”

“Same thing she always says: ‘O my god, you two are so precious!’”

“Maybe we can throw a live crab in with her this summer. She’s not really gonna adopt a little, is she?”

“I don’t think she’ll be allowed to until she has her own place and more savings. Funny, really. She could have a kid whenever she wants but not a little.”

“I hope she gets to one day,” Jamie said, “And I hope he’s regressed to a fetus or she’ll drive him insane.”

“I’m sure one day she will, and when that happens the agency will match her to the right person. Look what a good job they did with us.” She sat back and pushed his boat back toward him, done with the business part of the bath. “Your arrival day is coming up,” she reminded him.

“I know.”

“You’re not sad we’re gonna be on vacation, are you?”

“No. Mom said we’ll have a party when we get back.” It wasn’t a big deal to him. He still didn’t like being the center of attention, and he was never more at the center than on his arrival day anniversary. Becky, however, loved his arrival day, and Jamie went along with it because he wanted to celebrate her. After all, it was almost as big a day for her as for him.

“Any idea what you want,” Amanda asked him already knowing the answer.

“Not really.” He was the hardest little to shop for. She could always get him clothes, but what fun was that for him?

She sighed and shook her head. “You never just make it easy.” She’d even gotten a toy catalog and left it casually in the living room hoping he’d find something he liked and show it to her.

“Ready to get out?”

“Uh-huh.” He pulled the drain, and she pulled the towel off the bar. After she’d combed his hair and carried him back to his nursery, she set him on the rug and went to let Kazoo in, who she could hear scratching at the door. Becky had not been best pleased the first time she’d had to replace a screen he tore up. Jamie never really knew how he picked that name. It’s just what came to mind when he was asked what his new puppy’s name was, and Kazoo was alternately Kaz, Kazzy, Kazoozy, or Kazoozle depending on the mood. He answered to all of them, or at least looked up. He wasn’t the most obedient dog, but he was a sweetheart and a goof.

The novelty of a puppy and the adorability of watching Jamie and his dog play wore off pretty quick for Becky as she remembered why she hadn’t gotten Manda a dog growing up, but she never regretted getting him. She learned the hard way not to swat Kazoo’s butt when he misbehaved. The dog hardly flinched, but Jamie had a meltdown. A bawling Jamie scooped up his puppy. A very regretful Becky scooped up her little. And a freaked-out Amanda dashed into the living room to find out why everyone was crying, only slightly less confused than the dog. No dog was ever cared for more gently since.

Jamie’s ears perked up when he heard claws skittering across a hardwood floor trying to find purchase, and a wagging dog burst into the room and began to smell the now clean Jamie all over, and Jamie batted him away to start a wrestling match. Kaz did his play bow, and Jamie did his in turn, and Kaz couldn’t hold back his excitement and jumped on Jamie. Kaz was a very small dog, and Jamie let him win, laying back so Kaz could give Jamie kisses.

Amanda walked in to see the naked dog and the naked Jamie Bear on the floor, wishing she had gotten Jamie dressed first and wondering how much of his bath the dog had undone.

“Alright, Jamie,” Amanda said. “Time to get you dressed.” He sighed and set Kaz on the floor.

“Can we go to the d-o-g p-a-r-k later,” he asked. Amanda and Becky considered it a milestone when he stopped calling them bears and a bigger milestone when he agreed to go to the dog park, though he would only go to the side of the park where no big dogs were allowed. Jamie could be around a big dog without getting scared now, but not around five or six or a dozen of them, and what he considered “big” they considered “medium.”

“Maybe after your afternoon nap.” She lifted him on to the changing table and took a bottle of water from her pocket. “Drink up, buddy.” Amanda got a nighttime diaper and two stuffers from under the table. He dutifully began to drink his bottle.