Done Adulting Vol. 1 Ch. 86

“I don’t know about this,” Jamie said as he paced back and forth in his mom’s room. “I think we’re making a serious mistake.” Becky watched him pace, his hands folded behind his back, becoming more agitated each time he reached a wall and turned on his heel. “This could … We should have stopped this.”

“She’s twenty,” Becky responded.

“Exactly! That’s … Teen brides are only a few months younger than her!”

“Jamie, it’s just a date.”

“That’s how it always starts. ‘O, let’s get coffee.’ ‘Ooo, how ‘bout dinner?’ ‘Ooo, sorry you’re pregnant – gotta run!’”

“Jamie …”

“And you!” he accused her. “Just sitting there so calm about this. Did you even have the birds and bees talk with her? Because I will. There are birds, and there are bees, and not under my roof!” He kept pacing with his hands behind his back, wearing a groove into the carpet.

“Jamie …”

“Big can of bee spray!”

“Jamie …”

“And him! That sonuvabitch! Asking her out?!? Who even does that?”

“She asked him.”

“O, so he couldn’t even work up the nerve to ask? What a prize this one is!”

“Jamie, hold still …”

“And if that motherfucker so much as hurts her feelings …”

“JAMIE!” She reached out and picked him up. “It’s just a date. She’ll be fine. She’ll be home in a couple hours.” The doorbell rang. “Let’s go say goodnight to her.”

Becky carried Jamie downstairs on her hip. He wished he was wearing something cool, like a leather jacket and blue jeans, or tactical assault gear, something besides his bunny sleeper.

“Hey! Do you wanna come in for a sec,” Jamie heard before they reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Sure,” said some male voice.

“I just gotta say goodnight to my little brother.”

“He’s right here,” Becky said when she reached the foyer.

“Aww, I love that sleeper on you,” Amanda said. Jamie surveyed her outfit and was disappointed to see she wasn’t wearing a suit of armor or even just a hazmat suit. Even better would be if her date were wearing a strait jacket. Or the trunk of a car.

“Yes, it certainly is functional,” Jamie said haughtily. “And who is this?”

Amanda took him from her mom. “Jamie, this is Miles.” Thank goodness, Jamie thought. ‘Miles.’ That won’t last.

“Hi, Jamie. I’ve heard a lot about you,” Miles said, sticking out his hand.

You presumptuous … “O? Funny – I’ve not heard a word about a ‘Miles.’”

“O, he’s just teasing,” Amanda said. “Can I get a goodnight kiss?” Jamie obliged with a kiss and a tight hug he held after Amanda was ready to let go. Jamie used the opportunity to level his eyes with Miles’ and make it clear, I get to do this. You do not get to do this.

“Okay, baby, I gotta go,” Amanda said as she pulled Jamie off herself.

“He’s, uh, cute,” Miles said. He’d never met such an off-putting little before.

“Make good choices, Miles,” Jamie said, burdening the words with all the authority a diapered little in a bunny suit can project.

“We will. Promise,” Amanda said. She handed him back to her mom, and the two of them left.

“Did you see that,” Jamie near-shouted as soon as the door closed behind them.

“What?”

“Him! Just standing there! When she gets home, she and I are gonna have a talk about boys and waiting for marriage and postponing marriage until after you’ve been working for at least five years. How are her grades anyway? I don’t care if she is in college! Bad grades mean no social life. That’s a basic rule. Basic! She should be focusing on getting into grad school. And you! I’m sorry, but you don’t seem to appreciate the gravity of this situation. He’s a boy, and boys …”

“JAMIE! ENOUGH!” Becky raising her voice stopped his rant. He looked at her, waiting for what she would say next. “Amanda isn’t going to love you any less because she goes out on dates sometimes.”

Jamie’s lips turned into a frown and he put his head on Becky’s chest. “I don’t wanna share her. I’m not ready,” he whimpered.

“I know, baby. Let’s get your bottle and have some snuggle time before bed.”