Mary and Daphne #164

“Wherever you go, whatever you do, I will be right there waiting for you.”

“Hmmm (snore) singing.”

“Who’s my sleepy girl?”

“Huh? O … Is the movie over?” I was very alert in a groggy, consciousness-is-overrated kinda way.

“Mhmm.”

“Sorry I fell asleep,” I told my Mary. “Was it good?”

“No. I feel asleep too.”

Me? Snuggle into Mary? Never. It’s so uwu. Yuck. “You were singing me a song. You’re so gay and stuff.”

“I’m totally gay for you, Daffodil. Should we go to bed?”

“Yeah, I’d hate to have slept through bedtime.” Me, a smartass? Never ever, upon my word as a heterosexual. Um, really.

“I’ll get you for that tomorrow,” Mary yawned. “Up you get.”

“Carry me.”

“Very funny. C’mon.”

“(Fake snore).”

“Up. You can’t fall asleep with your face buried in my lap. You’ll suffocate.”

“Yeah, but what a way to go.”

“Up. Maybe a smack bottom will get you moving.” That’s her solution to everything. I’d criticize her for it if it didn’t work nearly all the times.

“Ugh. Fine.” Gotta say it: laying down was more fun that’s sitting up.

“You’re so much fun when you’re dazed,” my wife who is a smartass and didn’t get the trait from me because I’m ever so sincere said to me.

“You love it when I’m dazed. I’m suggestible and stuff.”

We trudged up the stairs. I chose to ignore the clock saying it was only 9:30. We’re not losers. We’re just two tired people in a pandemic and the accumulated stress and the … stuff and things. Who wants to list all the stressful stuff and things? Too much work.

We got to our bedroom, and Mary turned to face me, putting her hand against my forehead. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Just sleepy?”

“It’s bedtime.” Sort of almost. I was groggy. I was in the middle of a really good REM cycle when Mary woke me up with her sweet singing and stroking my face, and I’m pretty sure she blew in my ear. She likes me, even like likes me; I can tell these things.

“Let’s get you into your sleep time diaper, and then you can go back to dreamland.”

“Mary, the only way that’s happening is if you do it all in your own without waking me up.” I got under my covers, and I was back asleep before Mary even got to the toy box she keeps the diapers in.

So how the heck did I wake up in a heccin diaper!?!