Don't Wanna Be

All character are over 18 and unrelated.

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Molly woke from her late afternoon nap and walked downstairs in the dark of a winter dusk. That the lights were off meant Lucy was still at her desk in the guest bedroom that had become the home office during the pandemic. They were fortunate Lucy was able to continue working from home. Molly didn’t work outside the home, and Lucy supported both of them. Molly’s job was to support Lucy.

She put her ear to the door and heard nothing. No late calls, she thought and opened the door quietly. Lucy was at her desk staring intently at her monitor. She startled when Molly put a hand on her shoulder, then reaching across her body and taking Molly’s soft palm into her own.

“Still working,” Molly asked.

“No. Just doom scrolling.”

“Everything okay? Was it a good day?”

“It was an average day,” Lucy replied. Going on twelve months of pandemic boredom and anxiety and the seeming disconnect between the world’s events and the stillness of their own lives left so many days just average. More sameness.

“How about a back massage before dinner. Come upstairs,” Molly offered.

Lucy turned and kissed Molly’s fingers. “Sweet of you, but not tonight.”

“You don’t want my TLC?”

“Always, but I’m fine. Really.” She let go of Molly’s hand and spun in her chair, putting on a smile that might have fooled other people into believing she was content instead of just weary and resigned.

“Well, what if I’m not fine,” Molly asked coquettishly. She folded her hands and placed them below her tummy, turning ever so slightly and cocking her leg so she was twisting her toe back and forth into the carpet.

“Are you not fine, sweetie,” Lucy asked, picking up on the game they had played many times.

“Mmm-mmm.” She shook her head and pouted her lip.

“What’s wrong,” Lucy asked in a higher voice as though asking a much younger person, trying to sound caring and reassuring and safe. Molly shook her head again. “You can tell me.” She took Molly’s hands and rolled forward in her chair just enough, looking up at her girlfriend.

“I don’t wun be big girl.”

“You don’t wanna be a big girl,” Lucy asked in faux surprise, that humoring tone she used with her youngest nieces and nephews, that kids-say-the-darndest-things tone of sweetness and patience.

“Mmm-mmm.”

“But aren’t you a big girl?”

“Mmm-mmm.”

“Well o my goodness then! We need to get you out of those big girl clothes.”

Keeping hold of Molly’s delicate hand, Lucy led her back to their bedroom, turning on a lamp to cast a dull yellow glow. Two drawers in Molly’s dresser were given over to when she didn’t want to be a big girl.

“How big aren’t you tonight,” Lucy asked as she pointed toward the drawer second from the bottom.

“Mmm-mmm.”

“O, I see now. You just a itty bitty girl then, aren’t you?” Molly put the tip of her finger in her mouth as though it were a nervous habit and nodded. “Why don’t you sit down on the floor for momma then while she gets your things ready.” Lucy went for the lowest drawer, thinking it was getting so much use she ought to move it’s contents to the top of the dresser.

Molly sat and laid back. She’d laid that carpet just a few months ago, and in a moment she would be topless, the fibers rubbing against the softness of her back. Her thumb found its way into her mouth, and her eyes rolled back as she anticipated being taken care of in the most intimate of ways, knowing as well this was the kind of care Lucy needed, too, her need to care being seen to because Molly offered herself up for a treatment she loved to receive and Lucy loved to provide.

Lucy turned and saw Molly sucking her thumb and tsked. “Such a big baby she can’t even wait for her paci,” she gently teased and knelt down next to Molly. “Open,” she said, and Molly accepted the pacifier Lucy offered. “You really are just a big baby spending the day in your jamjams.”

“I not a big baby. I wittle,” Molly lisped around her binky.

“Yes you is. Did you get enough nap?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Then you must wanna play,” Lucy said as she gathered the smaller woman’s ankles and tilted her hips back, pulling the pajama pants off.

“No pway. Snuggle.”

“Ooo, you gonna be snuggle bug?” Molly smiled wide and nodded her head enthusiastically. No one, she knew, could snuggle her momma better than she could.

“And what is this I see,” Lucy asked. “Where are your undies? Did you forget again?”

“No.”

“No? You are just the silliest goose!”

“I no goose.”

“A silly baby.” Lucy let Molly’s legs down and teased her with her fingers, running them up her tummy and back down her thighs, lingering to massage and rub her clitty. “Do you want out tonight?”

“Mhmm.”

“And you’ll be my good sissy girl if I let your clitty out of its cage?”

“Da bestest.”

“Okay.” Lucy had the key on her necklace, as she always did, and unlocked the soft silicone cage that kept her sissy from mischief and reminded her who she belonged to. “Did I ever tell you how much I like your clitty,” she said as she teased and massaged it, grasped it gently and not so gently and let it go again, watching it begin to grow. Her sissy girl was neither a grower nor a shower, and she loved that about her. “It’s just so cute, and even cuter when it gets, well, not hard exactly,” she giggled. Molly arched her back and began to writhe. “But not yet. Sit up for me.”

Lucy helped Molly to sit up, and Molly raised her arms above her head, letting Lucy take her shirt off and leaving her naked from top to toes. She laid back again, and Lucy came to all fours, straddling the eager younger woman.

“Such perfect little breasts,” Lucy remarked as she placed a hand over each one, rubbing and kneading, massaging and pinching the pert nipples. “Some day you may even need those pretty bras we buy you.” She sat back, each hand wandering in a swirl back down Molly’s body. “Are you my baby girl?” Molly nodded. “Do baby girls wear pretty panties?” Molly shook her head. “Do they wear training pants? No, dat’s right. Dey wear diapees, and we gots a diapee for you right here.”

Lucy unfolded the girly pink diaper and took Molly by her ankles again, tilting her backward with one hand and spreading the diaper under her with the other, an often and well practiced movement. “But we gots to cwean da wittle girl,” she said in a sing-song, baby-lipped voice. “We gots to cwean her all up. Yes we do! Yes we do!” Still holding her ankles, she opened the tub of wipes and plucked one out, throughly wiping around Molly’s clitty, giving it plenty of attention, and moving on to her crease and cheeks. Taking a clean wipe, she pressed her finger through it against her button.

“Now, my little Molly Moo Moo,” Lucy said. “Whose clitty did I just wipe?”

“Momma’s.”

“Good girl! And whose girl hole am I touching?” She made a slow circle with her finger, pressing more firmly until she slipped inside.

“Momma’s,” Molly answered, eyes tight and doing her all to not let herself grind against Lucy’s probing, searching finger.

“Very good girl. Do you wanna try using your clitty while it’s out of its little house?”

“Mmm-mmm. No clitty. Girl hole.”

“Ooo,” Lucy chuckled. “You don’t wanna be a big girl at all tonight, do you? We can use your girl hole on one condition, and I think you know what it is, don’t you?” She nodded. “Such a good girl. Because you’re too good a girl to still need the enemas, aren’t you? Those are for new sissies. You can just go in your huggies now, can’t you?” Her finger was still inside Molly making subtle, gentle movements as she found and played with her marble. Molly was close as Lucy withdrew her finger and held up the wipe to show Molly as her chest rose with deep breaths as the glow of the almost wore off. “You gotta be cleaner than this inside if you want momma to put her toys in you. You gonna make a good present for me?”

“Yes, momma,” Molly sighed, suddenly sleepy again.

Lucy hummed a lullaby while she poured baby oil into her palms and massaged it deep into Molly’s diaper area and belly and breasts. “I like a slippery sissy girl best,” she said as she cleaned her hands off. “And since we got the sissy on the diaper, we gots to get da diaper on da sissy!”

She expertly taped her into the princess diaper and patted her front, pressing against her. “Can you feel that, Molly Moo Moo? Because I can’t even feel your clitty through all this diaper.” Molly blushed and squirmed under her hand. “But we gots to use da thickest diapees on baby Molly, don’t we? Cuz she’s a pamper piddling princess, isn’t she? Yes you is! Yes you is!”

Molly laughed behind her pacifier as Lucy used her finger nails to tickle the inside of Molly’s thighs. She sighed and laid down on her side next to her girlfriend, leaning forward to give her a deep kiss.

“You really is my bestest girl, do you know that?”

Molly nodded, not meaning to make her puppy dog eyes at Lucy, but she couldn’t help it. She adored this woman who understood her, accepted her, wanted her, loved her just as she wanted to be understood, accepted, wanted, and loved.

“I think you’re wearing all the clothes you get tonight. I wanna see when my bestest girl fills her pampers.”

“I tell you.”

“You’ll tell me when you’re ready?”

“Mhmm.”

“You know I’m still gonna hafta check, though, and I might just squish your bum.” Molly blushed. “Aww, does my bestest girl like having a squishy bum? Yes she does, like all the wittlest ones do. I don’t think you’ll ever grow up.”

“Don’t wun too.”

“I know. My poor wittle girl. But remember what we talked about?” Lucy nodded. “You’re not a grown up anymore. You’re my bestest diaper girl and always will be.”