Year of Bulk Progress - Month 8/8 - From Maintenance to Cutting

This month was more a maintenance month than a bulking month, and I’ve thrown away the idea of bulking for a full year after contemplating it through this month.

I was pushing myself really hard to lift heavy, and for a while that was working. However, I think I struggled to see all the issues in my form and I started feeling pain in my knees. I began to get frustrated with how much time I was spending in the gym while having to drop my weights back and try to fix issues in my form I couldn’t diagnose let alone address alone.

After some struggle and deliberation I decided to get a trainer. I know to keep lifting heavy I need some help and feedback. My trainer is a 48 year old single mother of two that is remarkably strong and sweet. She’s taught yoga for 20 years and she’s certified in personal training.

The first thing I wanted from her was an answer on whether or not I should cut. Her answer was that if I wanted to cut, I could start today. I left my consultation unsatisfied with that answer, but deciding to just do it. I felt so uncomfortable in my body at the time so much of the time that I decided fuck it- I just needed a change. So I’m giving myself over to her training regiment and cutting back to see what progress I made. (Ready to see what muscle we’ve built? I am!)

I also wanted access to my body scan to see how much muscle I’ve gained since the two years ago that I joined the gym. 5 pounds. That also felt dissatisfying. Beginners can gain up to 10 pounds in their first year from what I’ve read, but then I realize I might not have been at a beginner level, I had lifted and done progressive overload before these two years, just not as consistently, You progress drops off steadily and you have to fight for more muscle gains as the years of training go by. I’m also approaching 30, and at a certain point it’ll become slower gaining muscle from an age perspective. So I lay my dissatisfaction to rest. I’m learning to be not just patient with myself and my body, but grateful.

I’ve made progress, even through this time of massive deloading and stalling that I thought I “lost everything” (oh, the drama).

I worried that I signed up for training with someone I wouldn’t mesh well with. She doesn’t bother with bulking and cutting and my understanding is that helps you get muscle on your body. She’s followed a different path, though, and she is strong, active, and healthy. So, despite my promises to myself to stay on one path and one program for a year, I’m giving myself over to her guidance. Both days I’ve trained with her, she’s left me sore in just the right amounts. Now, I’m wondering what new goals to set considering my change in pace. I want to bring forth my ignored goal to get the splits this year. My rope work as of late is inspiring the desire to work on my flexibility, and running also drives me forward. For the nine month, I'm looking at cutting, running, and stretching while following the strength guidance of my current trainer.

Longterm goals draft:

• Getting a routine from her to get my splits

• Fixing my squat form, getting back to 180lbs, and squatting a friend (VERY IMPORTANT)

• Benching 100lbs, then benching one plate 

I want to keep getting stronger, faster, more balanced. It’s such a high to lift heavy weights, sprint down a hill, and maintain a difficult pose I didn’t think I could. May I not forget that core to that is taking care and also being gentle with this goofy organic mass of mine.