Dating Economics: Why Rich & Successful Men Have Sugar babies and Escorts (Part 1)
Added 2024-07-22 10:40:30 +0000 UTCReading Time: 5 Minutes
This is the first part of a 3 (or maybe 4) part series.
Take your time reading it— don’t rush through.
Let's Clear the Air First
This post isn’t about promoting or glorifying men paying women for escort services.
It’s also not about judging whether it's right or wrong, either.
The goal is to explain a reality many men don’t know exists, especially since high-status and rich men rarely discuss these topics openly.
A Tough Pill to Swallow
For younger men under 30 and men who are not doing the best financially, this topic can be hard to understand and accept (which is why it's never spoken about openly)
Here’s why:
1. Belief in "Rizz" and 'Game': They think the best way to attract desirable women is through their charm, charisma and witty lines.
2. Non-Transactional Mindset: They believe relationships should be about genuine and burning desire, where a woman only loves a man for who he is, not what he can provide.
I’m not denying that charm charisma and witty lines don't work—they definitely do—and I’m not saying that attractive women are emotionless who cannot love, these beliefs can usually land you a decent-looking, average girl.
The Reality of High-Caliber Women
When it comes to truly desirable women, especially those with exceptional physical beauty, a man needs a solid financial background to succeed. Being funny and smooth alone won't cut it with these women.
YES! they might find a guy charming, smooth, funny and entertaining. But for them to consider him as a long-term romantic or sexual partner, charm alone is irrelevant.
Occasionally, you might get lucky and catch the interest of a highly attractive woman based on your charisma alone.
She might even give you her number. But often, it won’t go anywhere because she has options from guys offering far more than just smooth talk.
When Did I Realise This?
When I was 18, I managed to attract a highly attractive Instagram model with over a million followers.
I got her attention with just my looks, charm, personality, and "rizz."
(I won’t name her for privacy reasons, but trust me, you know her.)
The Turning Point
We hit it off initially, talking and texting everyday for hours etc...
But when it came to making plans, she stopped taking me seriously after I gave her a shitty date offer. I told her to come to my place to chill and watch Netflix. Lol
I soon realised she had high-level guys also pursuing her, offering MUCH better dates.
These guys weren’t necessarily better looking than me, but they had the means to provide more impressive offers.
I was a bit confused because this never happened with less attractive girls. But this girl was on a different level of beauty, attracting top-tier guys with better offers.
The Hard Truth
That's when I realised that for truly attractive women, money matters.
It’s not just about charm, smoothness, amazing lines or being funny.
From that point on, I stopped obsessing over attraction techniques and "game."
Instead, I focused on the real powerhouses: money, a fit body, and a great personality.
And honestly, I don’t blame her for choosing a better option at the time.
The Reality of "Alpha Male" Advice
It kind of pisses me of, because I see all of the big name ‘alpha males’ in the online space preaching about ‘game’ and being able to have sex for hours as being the secret to bag these highly desirable women.
The Missing Piece: MONEY
NONE and I mean NONE!! of them talk about how important money is.
If you look closely at these guys with stunning women, you’ll notice they’re flying these girls out, buying them expensive gifts, paying for their hotels, and sometimes even putting them on a monthly allowance.
The Lifestyle Perks
Pay attention to the luxurious lifestyles these girls get to experience by being around these guys.
Many of these women are essentially on payroll.
There's nothing wrong with this; in fact, it's a smart move (I’ll explain why later on).
The Sad Truth
What makes me sad is that these "alpha male" followers see them with these beautiful women and think the way to get such women is just by being charismatic and smooth.
That's only part of the picture.
Not that theres anything wrong with that, no, but I believe many of these guy don’t want to admit or ever talk about how much of a big part their MONEY and success plays in their dating and relationships because they believe that would make them look like a lame and tarnish their online / brand image.
Which is understandable.
The Double Standard in Dating
People will praise a rapper for throwing thousands at strippers who will forget about him in 15 minutes.
Yet, if you find a stunning girl you potentially want to build a lifelong relationship with and you treat her well—especially financially—you’re labeled a "simp."
This makes no sense to me.
The Reality Check for Young Men
If you’re a young man or unaware of this side of life, here’s the truth:
The best women are gatekept, and the way to access them is by paying.
Even if you don't pay directly, a payment is invovled.
For example: In a nightclub, the hottest women are going to be in the VIP sections whilst the 'normal' average looking ones, will be in the standard area of the club.
Even in traditional relationships, you will need to impress the girls parents, who will only entertain your offer if you have a great job = make good money.
The Illusion of Accessibility
Yes, you might see an average attractive girl out and about, but you won’t randomly catch the most desirable women strolling around on a normal day.
Even if you do manage to meet an average woman, the odds of building something meaningful from that is slim.
They can be flakey, they can lose interest if your first few texts doesn't spark significant interest, etc....
The Reality of Cold Approaches
When you do cold approaches, to truly succeed, you will have to do A LOT of them.
Not every girl you approach will be interested.
- Some will have boyfriends.
- Some will lose interest.
- With most, nothing will happen after they give you their number.
- Others won't even reply because they gave you their number just to be nice.
- Some will ghost you after a few messages.
- Some will be polite but never commit to making plans.
- Some will flake on agreed dates.
- Some will seem interested but only looking for attention and just texting.
- Some will judge you based on your approach and dismiss you immediately.
- Some will be put off by the approach itself, preferring to meet people through social circles.
• Some will have high emotional walls due to past experiences, making it hard to connect.
• Some will be in a bad mood or having a bad day, affecting their receptiveness.
• Some will find your approach style too aggressive or too passive.
• Some will be interested initially but get distracted by other suitors or life events.
• Some will be with friends who influence their decision about the guy negatively.
• Some will already be engaged in other dating experiences and not want to add another.
• Some will feel overwhelmed by multiple cold approaches and shut down completely.
• Some will be wary of strangers due to safety concerns and societal warnings.
• Some will evaluate your appearance in a split second and decide against you.
• Some will perceive your nervousness or overconfidence as unattractive.
• Some will be interested but already committed to a different life path or plans.
• Some will take your approach as a challenge and play hard to get excessively.
• Some will be open to it but have social or cultural barriers that prevent them from engaging.
• Some will have a preconceived bias against meeting people this way.
• Some will be put off by the timing or setting of your approach.
• Some will expect immediate chemistry, and if it’s not there, they’ll walk away.
• Some will have had a recent bad experience with someone else and be extra guarded.
• Some will be focused on their own priorities and goals, leaving little room for new relationships.
• Some will be turned off if you don’t immediately seem as if you match their lifestyle or values.
• Some will prefer to keep their dating life within their professional or social network.
• Some will have been approached many times before and have become jaded or cynical.
• Some will be preoccupied with their own problems and not open to new interactions.
• Some will be assessing your confidence level and decide you’re either too cocky or too timid.
• Some will be judging your conversational skills and ability to maintain interesting dialogue.
These obstacles highlight why cold approaches can be inefficient and disheartening, particularly for the guys who greatly value their time and energy.
High-status men, in particular, tend to bypass these hurdles by leveraging their resources to create direct opportunities with desirable women.
This approach is more effective, saving time and reducing the frustrations that come with cold approaching women.
These obstacles make cold approaches a time-consuming and often frustrating method, especially for those who value their time highly.
That's why men are often advised to make loads of cold approaches and play the numbers game.
Playing the numbers game means that eventually, something will stick.
But this approach comes at a cost: TIME
Rich and high-status men don't have the luxury of wasting time on endless cold approaches all day.
Their time is incredibly valuable, so they use their resources to gain access to the best women directly.
This is a big secret that's not openly discussed.
The Instagram DM Myth
Instead, many people tell you that the way to get those top-tier girls is by improving your Instagram DM game or your "rizz."
Yes, that MIGHT work on average girls, but not the truly beautiful women who have open and public profiles.
(Average girl is still attractive, it doesn't mean ugly)
I'll be real, yes It can work if you play the numbers game.
if you send a message to 500 girls on instagram, sure some will certainly reply back.
If you have a lot of time on your hands then this could a good strategy.
1. Follow lot's of new girls, preferably girls with follower counts of under 3,000
2. DM the ones who follow back
3. Have conversation with the ones who reply back for 7 - 14 days
4. Make plans with the ones who seem the most interested
5. Repeat
This formula works but it is very time consuming which is why I suggest it for guys who have lots of free and idle time.
Now, Let Me Explain Why High Status / Successful Men Use Escorts
The higher your sexual market Value is, the more traditional dating becomes ‘expensive’
The most successful men and the most attractive women often price themselves out of the dating market.
Beautiful women receive little to no sympathy for their difficulties in dating because there are so few other women have experienced her type of reality.
This same thing holds true for men.
The ideal earning range for a (UK) man is between 50K - 100K GBP per year. This amount can fund a very comfortable lifestyle.
Anything more than this brings problems that less successful men don’t even know exist and will never have to deal with.
People get annoyed when rich people talk about their “problems,” but those problems are still real. It’s just that most people can’t relate.
Successful men receive even less sympathy than beautiful women. Not because their difficulties aren’t real, but because their “problems” are a dream come true for others.
The Reality of Dating for High Earners
Once you cross a certain level of money and success, dating becomes more expensive.
Example: Lawyers.
Depending on years of experience, a lawyer (solicitor) in the UK can earn around 200 - 800 GBP per hour.
This might sound like a lot, but it’s just the average at top law firms—it could actually be much higher.
And that’s just lawyers.
There are much higher earners: celebrities, bankers, tycoons, businessmen, and consultants who get paid £10K+ for just one hour of their time.
To make this relatable, I will continue with the lowest average of a London lawyer’s hourly rate, which is 200-300 GBP per hour.
In The Traditional Sense Of Dating, What Would Be Expected Of Him?
1. He would need to spend time going out to meet women and then use his charm or “rizz” to hopefully attract them and deeper level of interest.
2. Based on all the reasons explained earlier, he would need the energy, emotional / mental resilience to deal with the many rejections that come with cold approaches.
3. Once he eventually succeeds in FINALLY getting a number, he will then need to spend EVEN MORE time playing the texting game to help the woman feel safe whilst maintaining her level of interest and attraction to meet up for an actual date.
4. He will also be expected to plan the date.
5. On the date, he is expected to cover all of the expenses.
6. The date itself may last around 3-4 hours. Not including the hour long commute to and from the location . so in total the date entire is 5-6 hours long.
The guy would most likely have to book off an entire evening.
The problem is that for men who are successful, they can be very busy. Meaning they MIGHT only have 1 evening off every week due to how much they work.
Sometimes they might get 1 day off every 2-3 weeks.
Given all of this time, effort and expenses, there is NO guarantee of securing a sexual encounter with the woman.
Of course, women are the gatekeepers of sex, so they have every right to not have sex if they dont want to.
But lets keep it real, yes men like women, but for the most part, he is doing all of the courting, wining and dining to get sex.
So you can only imagine how frustrating it must be to do all of this without any type of guarantee of things escalating.
Even for less successful men this is frustrating, so imagine for a high earning guy who only has 1 day off every 2 weeks?
The Maths
Consider a three-hour date with an hour of travel.
At £300 per hour, that’s equivalent to £1,200 of the lawyer's time.
This means he effectively pays £1,200 in terms of the opportunity cost to go on ONE date for the hopes of sex at the end.
And this doesn’t even include the time and effort it took to secure the date in the first place.
(Remember, this is on the lower average end of the scale. It could be much, much higher.)
The Effort Required in Traditional Dating
Men often have to go through a lengthy and taxing process:
- Be Charming and Cool: They must show confidence and charisma.
- Be Mysterious and Funny: They need to keep the woman intrigued and entertained.
- Be a Good Listener: They must genuinely listen to her talk about her day.
- Show Genuine Care: They need to care about her beyond just physical attraction.
- Stimulate Emotions: They have to create feelings of attraction and excitement so she doesn't get bored.
Men have to do all of this without showing that they would rather be doing something more productive with their time.
If a woman senses that a man is just trying to “game the system” to trick her into bed without genuinely being interested in her, she will lose interest and probably ghost him.
The Complexity of Dating
Women can be very complex to deal with, and dating them requires a lot of energy, time, focus, attention, and emotional resilience.
If a man is working 80 hours a week, with 1 day off per week (or every 2 weeks) he might not have the energy to do all of this.
The dating process can start to feel like another job that HE is paying to work.
The Harsh Reality
High-earning men often find traditional dating inefficient and exhausting.
This is why many prefer to have sugar babies / use escorts.
From the very beginning they both negotiate what they both want and reach an agreement.
Theres no guessing games or mind reading, they both know what to expect out of the situation.
It’s a very straightforward process that saves both time and energy, allowing him to focus his time to work and other priorities.
due to them spending time together on a planned schedule, If a deeper relationship manifests out of the situation, then fine.
Again it's very hard to discuss these topics with younger men under 35 and with men who are not as successful, but this is a reality that happens right under your eyes.
women don't speak about it openly because they fear of being labelled as a 'whore'
Men don't speak about it because they may have a brand or image to protect and the idea of this doesn't have the best stigma in the western societies.
And most men start working harder on the wrong things, like rizz, game, charima and their charm, not realising that most of these attractive girls have just simply have much better offers.
Women certainly have their fair share of problems they experience in the dating space, however this series is mainly to open you what dating is like for successful men.
Part 2 will be out soon.
-Till next time.
