A Letter To My Future Daughter (Part 2)
Added 2024-06-20 12:06:58 +0000 UTC1. Mastering "Man Math"
As a pretty girl, you need to be extremely strategic with how you move through the dating scene.
Men like attractive women, so as an attractive woman you will receive lots of male energy but unfortunately a lot of women do not know how to handle this type of attention
So if you are young and naive you will meet men who show lots of attention and think they are doing it with the right intentions but unfortunately most men don't have the best intentions because their main purpose is to have sex and will try to do it by any means necessary.
What happens is that many women become hopeless romantics and fall into this repeated cycle of sleeping with a man who is showing attention just for it to end with nothing which leads to your reputation getting damaged.
Men gossip just as much as women. Most men do not keep their sex life as private. They will tell all of their friends about it.
Then all of their friends and people that know them will start to view you as “the easy girl who sleeps around” this can damage your dating life if you are in environments where everyone kind of knows each other.
So what happens is, instead of a man meeting you and deciding for HIMSELF if you are a good person or not, he will have already judged you based of your reputation and what those other men who slept with you have said about you and he will approach you based of that.
It will be very difficult to change the mind of a man who views you as a hoe and make him want something serious with you.
Even if you realise you had a bad reputation and decide to start moving slow, if you meet men who kind of know about your reputation and the past guys, they will get annoyed that you are now moving slow with them but you didn’t waste any time for the past guys you was with.
They will think you are trying to punish them.
This is one of the reasons why I tell women to not announce to the world if they are a “born again virgin” or now they want to be celibate.
Most men don’t want to hear how you are now celibate or you being a born again virgin because the only thing they can think about is how much of a ‘hoe’ you must have been and how you probably gave it up very easily to other men before him.
If you want to be celibate or born again, thats fine but keep it to yourself and your very close friends but don’t announce it on dates or to the world. If a man asks, keep the answer brief/vague.
You should even avoid any type of sexual texting, sexual flirting and sexual phone conversations with men you just meet.
Because for most men, unfortunately if you entertain anything sexual in the beginning or have sex with them very fast, they will get turned off. They will think you are like this with every man.
It can be hard to do this especially if you are receiving lots of attention from guys but if you want something serious, be stingy with who you have sex with.
There are some men who will still end up being a disappointment, but it's a much less chance of your reputation being ruined if you move this way.
2. How To Know If A Man Is Wasting Your Time
If there is no progression or VERY SLOW progression in your dating situation, then it is a sign that he is wasting your time.
A relationship with a destination will hit checkpoints and everything will be clear.
You will meet -> Go on dates -> become gf / bf -> get engaged -> marriage & family plans etc….
Everything will be clear and nothing will seem confusing.
When a man is wasting your time, things that should happen in a reasonable time are not happening and he will always have a reason for why that is not happening.
Another way to know if a man is wasting your time is if your relationship with him as grown but there is still other women around that he is dating.
When we first meet someone, we will all have other women and men in our lives that we are talking, dating and fucking but then we meet someone and things are progressing, at this point we should slowly stop entertaining those people like we used to.
(Unless there is a mutual agreement between both of you to introduce other people into your relationship situation)
But this is usually not the case.
If the other women in his life are still present and he is still actively dating them even though your situation with him has progressed and you want something serious then he is most likely wasting your time.
You should leave if you are in a situation like this and you are not comfortable with sharing him with other women.
In the first 6 months of meeting a guy, it should feel like happiness and sunshine.
Do not listen to people who say relationships are “hard” or people who put glory on struggle and toxic type of ‘Love’
Yes maintaining long term relationships can be challenging but it should not be challenging, difficult and toxic within the first 6 months of meeting someone.
If things are challenging within the first 6 months then thats a very clear sign that he is not for you and things will not work long term.
Many women waste their own time, sometimes they even waste many years in a relationship going nowhere even when the guy has shown all the signs he is the wrong one and doesn’t care about anything serious with her and they stay with these men because they are “loyal women” who want to “ride or die” for him no matter what he puts her through.
Men can waste your time for free because as a gender, they have the luxury of time.
As unfair as this is, as a woman you must be good at spotting the signs that a man is not that in you.
3. Offering More Than Sex To A Relationship
Men crave sex and not relationships because outside of sec, unfortunately most women don’t have anything else to offer.
Looks and your body matters but outside of the top 1% millionaire men who have money to throw around, most men will need you to bring more to the relationship than just your looks and your body.
Many women get offended when they hear that most men would like them to offer more than just their physicality but it doesn’t make sense because these same women get really offended when men only view them as ‘objects’
I have spoken about why ‘What do you bring to the table’ is a stupid question :
So only the men who follow my work will know how to spot a valuable woman however most men are not exposed or open to receiving my work, so therefore as a woman, you may hear a lot of men ask you the ‘what do you bring to the table ‘question’
Men are sick and tied of hearing “I don’t bring anything to the table because I am the table”
Many women get offended when men say they would like a woman who equally contributes to a relationship.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a man who goes and makes all the money in a relationship but you need to add value in order for him to be able to do this.
Relationships are transactional.
4. Never Approach a Man First
The type of man YOU DESIRE won't wait for a woman to approach him.
For the type of man YOU DESIRE, all he has to do is see you, and he will take action and come to you.
Approaching a man is a masculine and aggressive move. Women who are in their feminine energy do not do this.
Women who often approach men are either in their masculine energy or quite desperate for a relationship.
When you approach a man, you set yourself up for a situation where he will be the more passive one in the situation, and you will be the one who is more masculine and decisive.
If this is not what you want, then don’t approach a man first.
If you want a man who is confident, assertive, and proactive in pursuing you. Let him take the lead.
The only exception is if you see a man in a location where he didn't get the chance to see you.
In that case, go and shoot your shot, or else you will never see him again.
But in most situations—like when you are in a lounge, club, bar, restaurant, classroom, gym, shop floor, or any type closed environment where everyone can kind of see each other in that place—don't approach him first.
You should 100% show you are interested in him.
Make warm eye contact, look at him multiple times, smile, and maybe even put yourself around him.
If he has the confidence, he WILL come and talk to you.
Even if he is a very shy guy, he will find the courage and strength to say something.
It's important to understand that men appreciate the thrill of the chase. They enjoy the pursuit and the challenge of winning a woman over. If you approach him first, you take away that challenge and diminish his interest. By waiting for him to make the first move, you allow him to show his interest and prove his intentions.
Additionally, approaching a man can set the wrong tone for the relationship. It can create an imbalance where you are always the one initiating, leading and putting in the effort. This can lead to frustration and resentment down the line.
So, show your interest, but let him take the lead. If he’s the right man for you, he will step up and pursue you. This way, you make sure that you are with a man who values you and is willing to put in the effort to win you over.
Even if he is a naturally shy and introvert type of man.
-Till next time
