Mental Health: How To Stop Worrying So much

Worry: Give way to anxiety or unease; allow one’s mind to dwell on difficulty or troubles.

Worry is something that fearful people often do when they want to find things to stress about.

Focus on fear, stress, anxiety and unwanted outcomes, you get it.

Worry is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

The worrier thinks something bad might happen. 

He/she focuses on the possibility of something bad happening which leads to creating and leading to distress. 

The stress manifests itself physically. The worrier now has trouble making decisions, breathing, can’t eat, can barely fall asleep (or has a hard time waking up).

You would think these results would convince a worrisome person to never do this again, right?

Wrong.

This bad outcome only confirms to the worrier that their worries are based in reality. 

"I worried about it, and it happened! Now I better worry about the next bad thing that might happen!"

Worrying can be a trait passed down from parents, but it's like a contagious energy that affects everyone around.

Sometimes, worrying can even make the very thing you're worried about happen, essentially causing harm to yourself.

If something bad is bound to happen, there's nothing you can do to prevent it. Life is filled with events, and some are simply unavoidable.

Worrying won't alter the course of these events.

If you're facing an unwanted situation that's unavoidable, worrying only amplifies the suffering.

The prolonged period of worrying can be more damaging than the actual outcome. It's wiser to focus on what you can do when facing the inevitable. This engages your brain in productive thinking, creating proactive and creative solutions, rather than dwelling on anxious anticipation of a negative outcome.

If you're alive, there is an unfinished purpose you're meant to fulfil.

I once heard that the graveyard is the richest place on earth in terms of untapped potential.

Why? Because it contains more unfulfilled dreams, unrealised ideas, and untapped potential than anywhere else.

The reason you’re alive is to convey your unique message or truth to those destined to receive it. Your audience might be 1,000 people or 10 million people. Your message can manifest through words, actions, creations, images, a mix of these, or even something entirely distinct.

When you begin to share this message, you'll recognise it.

Similarly, those who are meant to resonate with it will undoubtedly recognise its significance.

If you’re reading this and are alive, it means you:

• Haven’t yet discovered your unique message.
• Haven’t yet connected with your intended audience.
• Haven’t yet reached out to everyone you're destined to touch.

You've been through rough sh** before. And survived to see today. You will make it through this just as well.

Think of the worst situation(s) you’ve ever been through. Remember how terrible you felt then.

Remember how you thought, in the moment, how you believed nothing would ever go right for you again?

You survived that worst moment, didn’t you? You made it past all the negative energy and found a way to keep going, didn't you?

Not a single thing life has thrown at you to this point has stopped you. Maybe some things required your attention. Maybe some situations slowed you down or caused you to take a detour.

But nothing has stopped you. Ever.

Neither will your current situation.

Many things you worry about won't happen. If you can't change something, why stress over it? Face it if it comes. Most times, it won't.

Worrying is a drain on your energy. And energy is 80% of the job. Worrying is like intentionally misplacing your car keys, to make it hard for you to get to work in the morning.

Worry prevents you from reaching your full potential.

Regardless of your expertise in any task, true excellence requires both skill and undivided attention.

When distracted by worry, your focus is compromised. You might still perform decent, and with high skill, even achieve commendable results.

However, those results could be exceptional with complete concentration. A missed opportunity might have been a triumph if you'd devoted all your mental strength to the present task, rather than dwelling on uncertainties ahead.

Worrying as a Leader / Captain

When you, as a leader, are consumed by worry, how do you expect your team to react?

One of the fundamental roles of leadership is to dampen concerns & pressures for the team and creating an environment where they can thrive. When a leader displays worry, it amplifies the team's own doubts.

If you're consumed by worry, your team picks up on that uncertainty. This can cause them to feel uneasy and even doubt the direction they're headed.

Even if you think you're hiding it well, signs of your concern show in subtle ways: 

maybe a change in your tone, a hesitant decision, or just a distant look. Over time, this can lower the team's trust in your leadership. They'll begin to wonder, "If our leader is worried, should we be too?"

Teams look up to their leaders, not just for direction but also for reassurance. Your emotional state sets the tone for the entire group. So, if you're constantly anxious or stressed, it's only a matter of time before your team starts to feel the same way.

Always remember, as a leader, you're in the spotlight.

Every action, every word, and every emotion is under observation. So, ask yourself: When you're filled with worry, what message are you really sending to your team?

This doesn’t just apply to professional settings, it also applies to relationships.

The toughest times are the exact times when you need to stay strong and give everyone else a reason to relax. That's your job.

“When shit hits the fan and everyone you know starts to look around to see who is going to step up, make sure they are all looking in your direction.”

- David Goggins

When everyone is tense and anxious, your cool, calm demeanour will draw people to you like a magnet.

When it does, and people come to you, do what a leader does. Lead them!

When things get tight for you and your organisation or team, the leader is the person who remains centred and relaxed. it's easy to be this way when there are no pressures crowding in on you and things are normal.

That’s why leadership is so important. People always follow the strongest energy. 

When fear, anxiety and stress levels are high, they also follow that energy.

When was the last time worrying helped you?

Has worrying ever helped you get what you wanted?

Has worrying ever made you money?

Does worrying gain you new friends and followers?

Have you ever worried your way to success, new customers or a raise at work?

Exactly.

Worrying isn't about the situation at hand, but rather a mindset some people habitually adopt.

For them, if one worry disappears, another worry conveniently takes its place. 

Often, they'll attribute their anxiety to a particular event or situation, saying things like,

"I'd be okay if not for XYZ...”

But observe closely, and you'll find that they perpetually have something to worry about, always seemingly at the mercy of external events. This continuous cycle isn't a coincidence.

Habits form because they provide a comfort zone, even if they're detrimental. And while they might be challenging to break, it's far from impossible.

Here's a strategy:

• Awareness: Recognise that you have a habit of worrying.
• Observation: Detect instances when you're slipping into this mindset.
• Questioning: Ask yourself why you're worried and what immediate steps can be taken to address the concern.
• Action: If there's something you can do, take action. If not, challenge your perspective and alter your thought pattern regarding the now-irrelevant worry.

If you have any further questions or statements, feel free to comment below or reach out to me. Thanks.

- Till Next Time.