Men, Learn To Make DECISIONS - The Ultimate Guide On Decision Making.

Over the past 3 years I've been working with guys, I've noticed many men struggle to make decisions for themselves.

Yes, at times, we all struggle with making decisions. 

Whether they are significant or trivial, it's normal to feel unsure and indecisive. It can be okay to take some time to gather clarity when facing confusion. 

However, being consistently indecisive is generally not beneficial. It can hinder progress and lead to missed opportunities.

Being consistently indecisive can give the impression that you lack confidence and have a scattered mind.

While it's acceptable to take your time and carefully consider things that are personally important and impactful, it's important not to showcase your indecisiveness in situations where it may create a negative perception of you.

Being decisive is a CRUCIAL part of being a man.

Nobody wants to follow a leader who freezes in difficult situations, whether it's a soldier under the command of an officer or a woman looking for a partner who can't make up his mind.

It's also important in the workplace, where bosses value employees who can make quick decisions.

Plus, no one respects a man who can't make up his mind about simple things.

The kind of man that women desire, corporations promote, and the world respects is the one who makes decisions confidently.

This man remains composed and collected when faced with pressure, takes charge of situations, and possesses clear goals and a sense of direction.

He is known as the man with a plan.

On the other hand, the indecisive man struggles to make progress in life as he constantly hesitates and is unable to choose a path.

He remains stuck in a state of uncertainty, while the decisive man advances steadily towards his goals and finds happiness along the way.

He mistakenly believes that avoiding decisions will keep him secure in his current situation.

However, he fails to grasp the reality that life is like standing in a river, constantly battling the current. If you stop paddling, you will be carried downstream.

There is no standing still. Instead of feeling empowered, you will feel as if life is controlling you.

Living in the midst of unresolved decisions will clutter your mind, hinder progress, and lead to anxiety. It's important to understand that making choices is essential for personal growth and peace of mind.

A man doesn't drift aimlessly through life. He takes control and charts his own path. He is the master of his fate.

Of course just making decisions isn’t enough.

After all, the man who makes all poor decisions isn’t very successful or popular either. A man needs to be both skilled in decision making and in making the right decisions at the right time.

What Influences Indecision?

A. Fear of Failure

Some people struggle with making decisions because they have learned to be hesitant.

Individuals who grow up in environments where decision making is viewed as a chance to learn and grow tend to feel more comfortable making choices. However, if decision making is associated with making mistakes or being criticised, it can lead to indecisiveness.

For instance, if a child is constantly criticised by a parent for making poor decisions, they may develop a fear of failure and avoid making choices altogether.

These fears can persist into adulthood, becoming an unconscious coping strategy.

The stress and anxiety surrounding decision making can gradually lead to avoiding both small and significant decisions.

Decision making can have a negative impact on one's self-worth.

Making a "good" decision boosts self-esteem, while making a "bad" decision triggers self-criticism.

The thought of having to make a decision can be overwhelming and paralysing, reinforcing the inclination to stay indecisive as a way to feel safer.

B. Parental Influence

Unfortunately, some men have grown up with mothers who have done everything for them, taking care of their every need.

As they mature into manhood, this dependency on their mothers can hinder their ability to be self-reliant and decisive.

Without the experience of making decisions on their own, these men will struggle with taking charge of their own lives and facing the responsibilities that come with independence.

Furthermore, this reliance on their mothers may result in a lack of confidence in their decision-making abilities.

They will doubt their own judgment and feel uncertain about their choices.

This can lead to a cycle of seeking external validation and constantly seeking approval from others, rather than trusting their own instincts and making decisions with conviction.

If someone has grown up with overbearing parents, they may not have had an opportunity to make decisions independently

There was never any chance for the person to fail or succeed by themselves.

Once they’re given the opportunity to make a choice, they’re left looking for someone else to make that choice for them

C. Perfectionists

Perfectionists struggle with making decisions due to their high standards and fear of making mistakes. 

The fear of making the wrong decision can paralyse them, leading to analysis paralysis (NO ACTION).

They will excessively research (professional information gatherers) and overthink every possible outcome, seeking absolute certainty before making a choice. 

This can result in a prolonged decision-making process, causing frustration and anxiety.

D. Lacking Confidence

A lack of self-confidence can significantly impact decision-making in a man. 

When a man lacks confidence in himself and his abilities, he will doubt his judgment and second-guess his choices. 

This self-doubt can lead to a fear of making mistakes or making the wrong decision, which can paralyse him and prevent him from taking action.

The lack of self-confidence can manifest in several ways that affect decision-making. 

First, a man may hesitate to trust his own instincts and intuition. Instead of relying on his own judgment, he may constantly seek validation and input from others, making it difficult for him to make independent decisions.

Second, a man with low self-confidence will have a fear of failure. 

He will worry about the potential consequences and negative outcomes of his decisions. 

This fear can prevent him from taking calculated risks or pursuing opportunities that could lead to personal growth and success.

a lack of self-confidence can make a man overly reliant on the opinions and approval of others. 

He will prioritise seeking external validation over making decisions that align with his own values and goals. 

This can result in a loss of personal agency and a lack of fulfilment in decision-making processes

a lack of self-confidence can hinder a man's ability to make decisions with conviction and take control of his own life.

To build confidence, you need to get some small wins on the board.

Getting small wins on the board can have a significant positive impact on confidence. When a person achieves small successes or accomplishes short-term goals, it creates a sense of achievement and reinforces their belief in their abilities. 

Here's how it works:

1. Each small win provides a tangible result or progress towards a larger goal. This sense of accomplishment boosts confidence as you will see evidence of your capabilities and the positive outcomes they can achieve.

2. Small wins act as positive reinforcement, affirming that you are capable of making progress and achieving success. This reinforcement helps build a positive self-image and self-belief.

3. Small wins create momentum and motivation to keep going. As you experience success, you become more motivated to tackle bigger challenges and set higher goals. The accumulated small wins provide a foundation of confidence and determination to take on more significant tasks.

4. Small wins gradually chip away at self-doubt and negative self-perception. small wins provide concrete evidence that you are capable and competent, helping to counteract self-doubt and foster a more positive mindset.

How Does Indecisiveness Affect Your Dating Life?

Indecisiveness can significantly impact your dating life. 

It can lead to missed opportunities, as you hesitate or delay making decisions about asking a girl out or making plans. 

Indecisiveness also reflects a lack of confidence, which can be unattractive to feminine energy. 

It can create frustration and confusion in dating situations, as both you and your partner will feel unsure due to your inability to make clear decisions or express preferences. 

Indecisiveness can also be perceived as a lack of leadership, raising doubts about the your ability to take charge and meet your partner's needs. 

when you're just getting to know a girl, the little things that you do with regard to being indecisive can really play against you and you may end up annoying the girl you're with.

Have a plan in mind

if you're asking the girl out, it has to be a planned effort and you definitely shouldn't act like you don't know what to do or where to go. Have a plan in mind.

Don't be a guy without a plan. That'll really annoy her. 

If she's asking you 'what are we doing'? 

and you answer 'I don't know you tell me' 

don't be surprised if you get ghosted.

Avoid having multiple plans 

That's another problem if you're indecisive, you can never decide what to do so you end up making a number of plans. Which isn't a bad thing. It's always good to have options and plan B's in hand. 

Just don't get confused or give her too many options. 

If you can't decide then go with your gut or just lay out the best plans to her and she can take a pick accordingly.

Don't change plans you've already made

If you've already made plans, then don't change them last minute because that reflects badly on your ability to carry out plans. 

Stick to the plan and if you have to have a last minute change then make sure it's comfortable for her to adjust to, so she doesn't feel pressurised in any way.

How Does Indecisiveness Affect Your Professional Life ?

Indecisiveness often leads to missed opportunities in the professional world. 

When you are unable to make timely decisions, you will miss out on promotions, important projects, or networking opportunities. This can hinder your career growth and limit your professional development.

Indecisiveness can lead to a lack of productivity and progress. When you spend excessive time deliberating and second-guessing your decisions, it can result in delays and inefficiencies. It can also create a sense of stagnation.

Indecisiveness can undermine your credibility and your perceived competence in the workplace. 

Colleagues and superiors will view you as someone lacking leadership skills and the ability to make informed choices. 

This can impact trust and diminish your opportunities for advancement or leadership roles and positions. 

Learn To Make decisions For Yourself

It's fine to get an outside perspective from 1-3 people. But asking 10 people about one topic will only confuse you further. 

Most of the times you already know what you should do, you're just looking for someone to validate and approve your thoughts and actions before you do it.

Nobody can give you the correct answers on what’s best for you besides yourself.  

Try not to allow others to be the decider between you and your goals.

How To Make A Good Decision?

Every day, we are faced with decisions, ranging from simple ones like choosing what shirt to wear to challenging ones like deciding which college to attend.

When confronted with a tough decision, we often delay making a choice for as long as we can.

We understand that once we step through one door, the other door will close, and we won't have the chance to discover what lay behind it.

This can be an intimidating prospect.

However, there are strategies you can employ to ease your anxiety while making a decision.

Make a list of pros and cons. 

You can do this in your mind or you can take a piece of paper, make some columns and list the pros and cons of each potential decision. 

The pro column for one might be much longer than the others. 

Even if it’s not that obvious, the process of really thinking through the positives and negatives can lead to your final decision.

Think about past decisions

It’s often been said that those who don’t understand history are doomed to repeat it.

This is as true for the world as it is for our personal lives.

Sometimes you make the same bad decisions over and over again.

Think about the bad decisions you made in the past; is there a common denominator?

Have you made bad choices based simply on your insecurities? Make sure that’s not behind the way you’re leaning now.

This is not about dwelling on the past and beating yourself over it, it's about learning from those lessons.

Why NO Decision Is the WORST Decision

Here's the truth: Not making a decision is still a decision in itself, and it can often be the worst choice you make. 

By choosing to avoid decisions, you risk missing out on opportunities that come your way.

Eventually, others will just decide FOR you.

I don’t know about you, but I like the idea of making my own decisions.

Why You Can’t Decide (and What You Can Do About It)

Every day, we make countless decisions, some of which are straightforward and almost automatic. 

We hardly even realise we're making them. 

However, the truly important decisions are the ones that impact not just ourselves, but also those around us. 

These decisions carry significant weight and have long-term consequences that can make our heads spin with the multitude of factors to consider.

The most challenging decisions are often the most complex, filled with numerous uncertainties and potential outcomes. 

The weight of their importance adds to the difficulty.

It's natural to feel overwhelmed, especially because big decisions may appear irreversible, intensifying the pressure to make the right choice.

Why?

The reason behind hesitation is the fear of what comes after you make a decision. 

You are afraid of making the wrong choice and everything going downhill. 

Example: You have a dream of starting your own business, and you consider quitting your job. Ideally, it would bring more money and allow you to do something you love. 

However, there's also a possibility that your business may not take off immediately. It could take longer than expected to grow, and that uncertainty is your greatest fear. 

You worry that it might never become successful.

In this scenario, the wise decision would be to keep your job and start building your business on the side. 

This approach allows you to gradually develop your business until the point where quitting your job no longer feels daunting. 

https://www.patreon.com/posts/58021350?utm_campaign=postshare_creator

The point is:

Big decisions are scary because you fear that if you make the WRONG decision, it will make things worse… and that your life will never get better after that.

This isn’t true, of course.

Here are just a few, nice “side effects:”

• When you decide, you REMOVE UNCERTAINTY – now you know what you need to do next.

• When you make a decision, you SAVE TIME because you finally stop overanalysing.

• When you decide, you REDUCE STRESS, because you’ve got fewer things to worry about.

We don’t want to make mistakes. 

We don’t want to look stupid. 

We want to make smart choices.

That’s why people try SO hard to make the right decision. 

What do you do AFTER you decide?

Consider this scenario: You're faced with the task of choosing a name for a product, a decision that often consumes a lot of time and thought. 

You create a lengthy list of potential names and find yourself going back and forth, unable to make a choice. 

The fear of selecting the wrong name and the concern that it will hinder your ability to sell the product overwhelms you.

Now, let's take a step back and reframe the situation. 

Instead of solely focusing on the name, ask yourself: What truly determines the success of your product? 

• Does it solve a real problem for your customers?
• Does it actually work?
• How are you going to promote it?
• Do you have a persuasive sales message?
• How irresistible is your offer?

By shifting your perspective and considering the bigger picture, you can alleviate the pressure of choosing the "perfect" name/logo and instead concentrate on the broader aspects that will ultimately determine the success of your product.

Yes, the name/logo is a factor. But it’s just ONE factor.

More importantly: What you actually do to promote and sell your product matters 10x more than whether you pick the perfect name. 

Look at what I do on this Patreon.

I do not have a fancy name. 'The godfather' is actually a very popular movie and the only reason I used it is because it used to be my Playstation username when I was a teenager.

My profile picture is a picture I saved from Google images. It's a logo from the Godfather movie. 

LOL.

So yeah, I did not put in effort into coming up with a super creative name and logo. 

But the product I offer to you is still amazing – and most importantly, profitable.

So why get hung up over the decision to choose a name?

Instead, you should shift your focus: What are you going to DO to MAKE your business a success?

Picking a name is just an example. But this is true for pretty much any decision. 

Decisions are not end points. They’re STARTING POINTS.

In other words, there are always more decisions to come. So, rather than trying to make the one right decision, focus on what you can do afterward to make your decision right.

Everyone makes bad decisions every now and then. It’s bound to happen. 

When it happens to you, there’s only one thing you can do: focus on how you can make the outcome better.

If it’s a big decision, sleep on it.

In my experience, “sleeping on it” helps me be more confident in my decisions.

Clearly, I don’t suggest you put off important decisions forever. 

But when it’s a BIG decision, and you’re torn that’s when it’s best do give it a good night’s sleep.

When you can’t decide, set a deadline

And when you still can’t decide the next morning, put a deadline on it.

Especially, when you’re indecisive by nature, you’ll often find yourself putting off important decisions indefinitely.

Set a deadline and decide.

Conclusion

Indecisiveness is understandable to a certain extent, especially when it comes to significant life decisions. 

It's natural to take time to carefully weigh the options and consider the potential consequences. 

However, if indecisiveness becomes a recurring pattern in your decision-making process, it can hinder progress and create unnecessary confusion.

When faced with important choices, it's crucial to strike a balance between thoughtful consideration and timely action. 

Dwelling excessively on every detail or constantly second-guessing yourself can lead to missed opportunities and delays in achieving your goals.

- Till Next Time