What To Do When You Lock Eyes With A Girl

“The eyes Chico, they never lie”

 - Scarface

The eyes are the windows to the soul. Intense eye usually contact indicates attraction.

Shy guys often have difficulty maintaining eye contact with women – and people in general.

If you’re shy, you probably notice that the second you lock eyes with an attractive woman , your eyes quickly to look away. This is especially true for introverted men, who are naturally more reserved by nature.

Strong eye contact is both how women see confidence in men, and is the first step in forming a personal connection.  

So it’s important to fight that urge and continue making eye contact with her.

Guys who cannot maintain eye contact end up looking nervous and awkward, which conveys a lack of confidence and is therefore not an attractive quality to have.

Eye contact is the number 1 sign a girl is interested in you.

Guys, women have zero confidence and they have zero game. 

They will look at you, assume you “GET IT” and then hope and pray to the universe that you come do the talking.

Women are subtle in how they show interest.  So a very clear sign a girl is into you is if she holds eye contact with you for about 2-3 seconds (or even longer).

However I want to make it very clear that there ARE some very shy women out there and just because a woman doesn’t hold eye contact with you doesn’t mean she’s not into you. She could just be very shy and socially awkward.

There are 4 reasons why a girl will avoid eye contact with you.

1. She not into you and doesn’t want to continue looking at you.
2. You looked at her with rapey eyes and she’s extremely uncomfortable.

3. She likes you. A lot. So much so that you intimidate her. So much that she doesn't want to seem desperate or needy and she knows that you can get any girl you want, and she doubts she is hot enough for you.

4. She is very - very shy. This will be the reason 80% of the time.

Those are reasons why a girl will avoid locking eyes with you.

What you need to avoid during the initial eye contact

1. Avoid looking at her like a deer in the headlights.

https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/deer-in-the-headlights-look-gm126158412-12154975

If you don’t know what the term deer in a headlights mean, it’s an analogy which describes when someone is paralysed by surprise. So they just stand there all wide eyed.

It means that in a panic situation, a person ‘freezes’ and is incapable of rational thought or action. This is similar to a deer or rabbit afraid by a car’s headlights so much that it is physically incapable of running to safety.

So someone who is a deer in the headlights, does not know how to react to a situation. 

In this case a man will look at a woman with ‘deer in the headlights’ eyes because he doesn’t know what to do.

“She’s looking at me omg” He thinks to himself.

2. Rapey eyes

This is when you look at a girl with an “I want to fuck you” kind of stare.

It’s the look of a hungry lion that hasn’t ate in weeks!

In most environments, this would make a woman feel extremely uncomfortable.

The only place this could POSSIBLY work is at a nightclub and that's baring in mind she finds you very physically attractive. 

Other than that, rapey eyes will scare away almost all women.

3. Looking away quickly.

This shows a lack of confidence in yourself. Very common with shy and introverted guys.

I was guilty of this when I first started realising women looking at me outside, I thought by playing it cool and acting like I don’t see them, it would have given me cool points. Well...It didn’t.

4. Staring at her with a death stare.

You want to avoid staring. 

Theres a huge difference between staring and gazing. You don’t want to hold eye contact with a super serious serial killer death stare.

Even if a guy was to look at you in that way, it would creep you out and you would probably think he has a problem with you.

Okay Chambers, What Do I Do When Me And Her Lock Eyes?

1. Look at her in the eyes
2. Smirk or smile

Great reference images :

https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/440226932319421360/

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:David_Gandy_in_Singapore,_2015.jpg

If you have very nice teeth, you can also show them off a little.

The whole purpose is to make yourself appear warm and inviting. Not cold and scary.

So after this, you don’t just want to continue looking at her at smiling. That can also be creepy. You now want to create subtle communication with her.

So whilst you’re looking at her, smirking/smiling…..you may want to:

• Nod your head at her
• If you’re in a bar/restaurant, you can raise your glass at her
• Or a subtle wave at her

This displays confidence, a little bit of charisma and a good personality.

If you are at an outdoor location, make sure to go and approach her afterwards.

Okay But What If I See Her At Somewhere I Frequent?

If you see her at venues you frequent at like gym, school or work, then you don’t need to do that much. Keep it at a light smile, a head nod (or subtle wave) and get back to what you are doing.

Why? 

Because this is setting the tone for the next time you see her. So next time you see her it could be a smile, a head nod and then you can proceed to ask her how she is doing.

This builds familiarity in a none threatening and none creepy way. This way she is comfortable with interacting with you when you eventually make your move.

The eye contact allows you to warm up the interaction. So if you can, always aim to have eye contact before the approach.

This method is best for locations you frequent at. However...

If it’s an outdoor situation where you will most likely not ever see her gain, if you find her attractive then you need to go and approach her because like I mentioned earlier, just because a girl doesn’t look at you, it doesn’t always mean she's not into you, she could just be very shy.

And no matter how good looking or rich you are, some women will never approach a man first.

Conclusion

Good, seductive eye contact should always be done with ‘soft’ eyes, and a small, cheeky smile. 

The gaze should be held only as long as is comfortable and natural. 

Prolonged, ‘hard’ eye contact with no breaks gives off rapey stalker vibes.

Another trick is to focus mostly on one eye. Looking at both eyes at the same time is impossible, and makes your own eyes move rapidly from side to side. Don’t continuously stare at the same eye, as this can be a little weird and noticeable, but switch focus every so often so that it is a more subtle transition.

If this isn’t natural for you, it will take some practice.

Practice holding eye contact with cashiers, your friends, servers, and sales people.  This is a great way to practice as these people are often so used to being ignored that they appreciate that kind of personal connection.

Till next time.