I'd Like To Be a Dominate Please

I came across this old thing this morning. I think it's hilarious. 😂😂😄

I'd Like to be a Dominate, Please

Dear John Bakoo

My name is Norman, and I'd like to be a dominate, please. I don't know much about the fetish of greyness per say, but I did watch The Secettary, so I can def. throw a flogger at a hottie from 50 yards. I like hotties, just as all dominates are surely required to do. I also like bewbs. I've attached my top 50 in a PDF.

My mum said I should start with my qualifications so, well, I'm quite angry looking, and I believe that's a sign of my profund and mystical nature. In my previous carnation, I controlled the pee schedules of buddhist monks. Despite that obiess qualification, I haven't found even one woman to serve me in this carnation. Is it that their subconscious minds are too unevolved to experience true dominateness? Or is it that they can't fathom the depths of my dominate angst? I think the truth is obvious, and it has nothing to do with any shortage of broodiness on my part.

My mum says if you don't agree, it's a sign that you can't deal with brutal honesty. She also said I should tell you about the new version of RACK that I invented. It's called HRPG, which stands for something, I'm sure. And if you're not into that, then YKINMKEHTIENH&#!! If that's confusing to you, I'm willing to explain it over Skype while checking out your girlfriend's bewbs.

To me, being a dominate is about more than just being able to hold a remote control next to your pennis and wear black T-shirts. You have to be obsessed with those things, or else you don't deserve to be hired by John Bakoo as an Official Fetlife Dominate. And believe me, I hold remote controls next to my pennis all the time. That, and this empty Coke can I dug out of my neighborr's trash—the best dominate hobby ever, right? Right!

All I talk about when I meet my buddies is how it would be super great if all dominates cared enough to tell their girlfriends when they're allowed to grab a sammich. But then everyone would be applying to get hired as a dominate, and you wouldn't have time to consider this letter from a true dominate.

John, I know you and most other people on this site insist that dominatness is a skill learned in real life, but do you think fake dominates altruistically send out pennis shots to every bewb avatar on Fetlife? I think not! Let me tell you, Millennial submarines are into that kind of dedication, so we deserve to be a ppreciated.

So will you please make me a dominate?

(Variation of I'd Like to be a Creative Director, Please by Tyler Watamanuk.