If You Want Respect, Choose the Right Face In the Womb

An internet stranger once told me that I only write because I’m too ugly to earn popularity through my photographs. Four days later, another stranger accused me of being too attractive. Back when I did have photographs up, men told me I looked too angry. If you have resting bitch face, you should have chosen a different physicality, but if you get tired of that accusation and remove your photographs entirely, dudebros will accuse you of being a bot account.

Our entire lives connect to our last Hot or Not score. He (whoever he is) would never have done <insert applicable rapey behaviour> if you’d chosen thinner lips or bigger hips when you were choosing your physical traits in the womb.

What? Didn’t they send you a dim sum menu of lips and eyes when you were a foetus? Well, shit. That’s too bad, but you’re still to blame for having a face in the first place.

By the way, if a dudebro screams in a forest and there are no other dudebros around to hear him, are you still to blame for all that godawful noise?

We can’t expect predators to take responsibility for their own actions, so it’s your breasts that are the real problem. If women want to live in a more respectful world, they should delete their social media photographs and wear paper bags over their heads. If you talk too much, you will be accused of ugliness. If you talk too little, you will be accused of vacuousness on the basis of your beauty.

Because everyone knows the prettier you are, the lower your IQ. It’s real science.

Sexy women don’t need to say things, and ugly women shouldn’t say things. If the entire female race would just stay quiet, misogynists could get back to killing brontosauruses.

Requiring a rudimentary absence of abuse is entitled. We women need to take responsibility for rape culture by becoming uglier. By hiding. By being silent.

Toxic masculinity is women’s fault. It’s always our fault because misogynists have no power over their own actions. Womankind must achieve impossible things if we’re to earn our right to take up space in the world. Responsibility is important unless you’re a predator. If a man tells you he wants to rape you, check yourself in the mirror. You probably have the wrong sort of face for non-rape.