A Man Like That Is Hard To Find

D went with sex the way Mentos go with coke. You could almost see his bliss rising out of his body like foam. A man like that doesn’t even need to touch you. His feelings creep out of his pores and into your skin, and no pair of hands will ever feel as sublime. E’s bliss was more grit than fog, but it was equally visceral. There was no barrier between his brain and his sexuality. Most men hold something back as though sex is a secret you’re supposed to keep. Just click on any Pornhub clip to see how that looks in practice.

I once knew a man called Ty who knew everything there was to know about a woman’s body. I imagine him taking lessons in 70 lectures demonstrated with a dildo and an Excel sheet. Orgasms were in his three-year plan next to a reasonable mortgage. I was his project, and he was determined to hit his objective. Orgasms were so boring I’d really rather not.  

E, though? E could terrify you just by exhaling. His lust was so primitive I felt as though it might eat me alive. A sadist like that is hard to find. Just look into your own history for evidence.

They say sex and intimacy are impossible to separate, but that’s not entirely true. Not with a man like Ty, and let’s face it, most men hide a small part of their lust as though it deserves shame. When you find someone who doesn’t keep those kinds of secrets, obsession is quick to follow.

You will be wet for the greater part of the day.

You will get behind on work.

You will obsess about the last time he came for 27 hours a day and nine days a week.

You will feel as though you’ve seen into his soul. You might know there’s no such thing as a soul, but dammit, it’s right there in front of you, and you’ve touched it.

It felt like melted chocolate, so you swallowed it whole.

It tasted like heaven.

Sex like that reveals so many secrets, so when you find a man like E, the distance between you vanishes. Now you’ve seen him, and if he wasn’t so damned terrifying, he’d feel exactly like home.