Brat Emergency Hotline
Added 2024-02-03 04:46:17 +0000 UTCInspired by TODDLER FEELINGS HELPLINE by SARA GIVEN
Hello. You’ve reached the Brat Emergency Helpline. Please Choose from the following options:
* If you unpacked all the jute and hung it in the tallest tree in the garden, please hide for at least 48 hours.
* If you forgot to pack cupcakes into a good hiding place before you hung out the jute, you’re an idiot and this helpline is beyond assisting you.
* If you don’t like the way Sir Domly Pants prepared your eggs this morning, please write out a formal complaint on Hellopeter.
* If you sent Sir Domly Pants a link to your Hellopeter complaint, please inform him that it wasn’t a review of his domly prowess. You just wanted to discuss eggs on a philosophical level.
* If Sir Domly Pants has barred you from calling him Sir Domly Pants, put glitter and glue on the toilet seat and wait. Within 24 hours, you may begin calling your guy Sir Sparkle Snatch.
* If Sir Sparkle Snatch is starting to get a bit impatient now, inform him that he doesn’t have a sense of humour.
* If you listened to our last advice, please hang up the phone and dial 911.
