Just Because I Chose You As a Dominant Doesn't Mean I Chose You As a Life Coach

Just about every aspect of power exchange compels me, but discipline is a hard limit. I can’t get behind it with an Nth of conviction. Few dominants have the competence to teach me how to exist more comfortably in the world. My partners learn as much from me as I do from them.

Identifying as a dominant doesn’t make you mentorship material. Just because I choose you as a partner doesn’t mean I choose you as a teacher.

I make my own decisions freely and competently. I evolve perfectly well on my own with the help of an exceptional therapist. That therapist is trained to do this kind of work, so I’d much rather do self-improvement in his office than your dungeon. I’ve had to work hard to gain confidence in my own abilities, so having a life coach dominant would tangle me up in my self-esteem problems all over again.

I can acknowledge that people who’ve had healthier histories than mine would thrive with discipline. Me? I’m in this for the connection and the kink, not the growth. I’ll go elsewhere for that.

I spent six years with a therapist who was more dominant than shrink. I did as she told me, and my life was no longer my own. I didn’t learn my own lessons, so I didn’t learn much at all. For me, wisdom needs to be gained at my own pace. I need to freely take what I agree with and throw the rest away. I only learn by making my own mistakes. I’m not against discipline for others. Your kink is not my kink et cetera, but this is not for me.

I believe we can all learn from one another, but If I were punished for my life choices, I would rebel. I would experience discipline as coercion, so I would fight against it. I’m fiercely independent, and I’m completely incapable of believing someone else is omniscient enough to manage my life.

I have an intractable illness. It’s taken me decades to learn how to live comfortably in this body. I manage every aspect of my life with precision because it’s the only way to sustain my health. My illness is life-threatening, so I cannot afford to let a dominant experiment with something he’s never had to learn because he’s never existed in my body.

Funishment? Bring it on. I just spilled glitter all over your favourite hoodie and inside your shoes. It was a complete accident, I swear.