Predation at Tailvore in Mei♡
Added 2025-05-17 11:30:00 +0000 UTCThis week we continue with Mei's R-18 illustrations!
This one will be used in the OC r-18 game we are currently working on.ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ”
If you find anything unnatural in the translation, we welcome your feedback!
※05/18 Translation has been revised based on feedback.
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Comments
Thanks! I am not far into my studies, so it's nice to hear I'm getting things right. I took one semester of Japanese in college, and the professor had an interesting comment about translators that's stuck with me. He said that translators often try to force the original language's grammar onto the desired language, and that we shouldn't rely on it for studying. I think that's right to an extent. It makes it hard to verify you're studying correctly if you're by yourself though. I'll keep providing feedback, but if you have any questions about English you are always free to ask (⸝⸝> ᴗ•⸝⸝)
SkywardAvian
2025-05-20 08:51:25 +0000 UTCThanks for the additional feedback! I guess I'm still relying on translation software for the majority of my translations, which makes the sentences unnatural. I still need to learn more about how to use English properly myself. I need to have the translation AI better understand my proclivities (lol). About titles, I learned that in Japanese, omitting the subject and object can be understood in context, but in English, it becomes unnatural! Next time, I will try to make sure that the title is also a natural sentence. By the way, your understanding of Japanese is really good, I respect it!
狐色‐こんいろ
2025-05-19 17:02:31 +0000 UTCWe need to adjust the sentence without losing the ambiguity of the title. You can do this many ways, but I’ll use “Swallowed whole and drained by Mei-chan’s tail.” I omitted “preyed upon” as it’s very similar to “swallowed whole” and therefore feels repetitive to keep both. ‘Sperm extracted’ is the literal translation, but sounds unnatural in English. “Milked dry” or “drained” sound more natural in English. Given the ‘energy drain’ focus of the art, using ‘drained’ seems like the best option of the two. Hopefully this makes sense, I wasn’t sure how to shorten my explanation. If it doesn’t, please let me know. I am confident I have caught all the issues now.
SkywardAvian
2025-05-19 07:25:29 +0000 UTCSo how do we translate this? Well, let’s look at the original title. We start with “溟ちゃんの尻尾で” which means “using Mei-chan’s tail.” This is where I think the ‘at’ in the English title comes from. The particle ‘で’ used with nouns describes the means of transportation or the tool you use. In this case, Mei’s tail is the tool; she is using her tail to do what the noun chain after ‘で’ implies. The noun chain ‘丸呑み捕食搾精’ contains: 丸呑み(swallowing whole)、捕食(predation)、搾精(sperm extraction). Using this info, the closest functional translation would be something like “Using Mei-chan’s tail, (someone) is swallowed whole, preyed upon, and has sperm extracted.” This looks alright, except for that ‘someone’ part. I had to add that to make a functional sentence. In Japanese, the subject/object is often omitted when context makes it clear, but English usually needs one to sound natural.
SkywardAvian
2025-05-19 07:25:19 +0000 UTCThe second issue is the title of the post. I was so excited for a new art drop that I didn’t even read the title the first time, haha. “Predation at Tailvore in Mei” doesn’t make much sense. Before I start, let me point out a minor issue. ‘Tailvore’ should be two words: tail vore. Now, onto the big issues. There is no verb, and the use of ‘at’ doesn’t make sense. I think this issue stems from a language difference. This makes translating directly hard. I had to use my Japanese textbook to help deduce this, so it may not be right. I would appreciate feedback if I misunderstood something. The original title ‘溟ちゃんの尻尾で丸呑み捕食搾精’ is a noun-based phrase; it does not have a standalone verb. Instead, the phrase implies the action of Mei’s tail preying on someone through context and the chain of compound nouns ‘丸呑み捕食搾精’. This is common in Japanese media titles. However, this often does not work in English. Too much information is omitted.
SkywardAvian
2025-05-19 07:25:07 +0000 UTCNo worries! I’m enjoying writing and verifying my feedback. It’s a fun challenge. Speaking of feedback, I’ve noticed two more issues after rereading this. For the 2nd issue, I apologize in advance for the length. On page 7: “I’m going to make you tight.” This sentence is grammatically correct, but “make you tight” sounds awkward. There are two reasons for this. First, the use of ‘you’ makes it sound like the boy is getting tight, and not the tail’s grip. Second, ‘tight’ is passive, but Mei is actively making it tighter for the boy. “I’m going to make it tighter for you” would be a way to fix this. The ‘-er’ I added to ‘tight’ turned the adjective into its comparative form. The sentence now states that Mei is actively making it tighter for the boy. This example has Mei describing changes to the state of the boy, however. If we want this to describe an action Mei is taking, we would switch ‘make’ for a more detailed verb. For example, “I’m going to squeeze you tighter.”
SkywardAvian
2025-05-19 07:24:53 +0000 UTCThanks again for the feedback! It is really very helpful!ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ” Also, thanks for the positive feedback on the illustrations♡ About the page 1, Sorry...I thought I fixed it, but I must have overlooked it. I made another simple mistake. About pages 6-7, Your interpretation is perfectly correct. I was also wondering how to translate this part, so this is very helpful! This time, there were only a few areas that needed revision, so we revised the translation to what you suggested and re-uploaded it. Thank you so much!
狐色‐こんいろ
2025-05-18 09:31:29 +0000 UTCI also deduced this from "It feels like ejaculating from your body, doesn't it?" You used the word "body" instead of penis/cock, the part one is supposed to ejaculate from. Does this mean it literally feels like he is ejaculating from his entire body because he is melting into semen? You might be able to clarify this by saying "from your *entire* body" instead. If my above deduction was correct, this could be fixed by making the two changes above. Otherwise, something else might need to be edited to clarify. Keep up the wonderful work!
SkywardAvian
2025-05-18 07:13:44 +0000 UTCPages 6-7 may need some clarity. If we ignore the story the sentences are trying to tell, they are grammatically correct. However, the writing may not currently mean what was intended. "You can't stop your soul from melting semen" is a strange sentence. As is, the sentence says the boy's soul is melting an object, semen. This doesn't make sense given the context of the current scene. If we keep reading, the next page says "I'm going to turn everything about you into semen" which suggests that you might have meant "melting *into* semen" on page six. This would imply the boy's soul is melting, turning into semen. This seems to make sense given that Mei is draining the boy's energy, melting and absorb him and his magic.
SkywardAvian
2025-05-18 07:13:10 +0000 UTCI love the angle this was drawn at! Mei looks so charming (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶) I have some feedback regarding the translation. You made good progress since last time. There are only two issues that stand out. Page 1: "Let's just give up and let May eat us up." Small issue first: 'May' seems like a typo. Should this be 'Mei' instead? Also, I will assume the use of 'Mei' instead of 'me' is a character quirk or style choice. Now to focus on the entire sentence. 'Us' is a plural pronoun used to refer to 2+ people, with one being the speaker. Since Mei is the speaker, then 'us' refers to the boy and Mei. Therefore, the use of 'us' above implies that Mei is going to eat the boy and...herself. To fix this, we just need to use the right pronoun. To stay close to the original, I suggest "Just give up and let Mei eat you up" as a fix. Mei would still be teasing the boy, but now she is only stating she'll eat the boy and not herself as well.
SkywardAvian
2025-05-18 07:10:34 +0000 UTC
