Sean Äaberg

THE GOBLIN NEWSLETTER 05

Added 2024-06-26 16:48:39 +0000 UTC

Ever since I had the stroke my emotions have been on a lightswitch. I feel them very intensely for a brief period of time. I figured this out when it was almost Christmas, I was rehabilitating at the hospital & I was crying so easily, by things like gift exchanges & carollers, things that wouldn’t have affected me at all in the past. I also was being touched by media in a way that I had never been. Movies & Songs could touch me, & anything morbid felt unnecessarily so. Something was definitely new. It wasn’t until being forced to have these emotions & have basically no ability to dodge them that I realized I had been emotionally repressed before. Luckily I only feel them intensely for a few minutes & then they go away, it’s like being hit by a gust of wind. Feeling emotions in this way has totally changed my perception of emotions, how temporary they can be & not life defining. It’s amazing to feel so intently for such a short moment & then going back to being even-keeled most of the time. It’s totally different from feeling like the emotions built up into lead shoes I was always wearing versus how free of that weight I feel. It makes me wonder if I had let the emotions come out like this when I was growing up if they would have dissipated in a similar way.