Becky Hawkins

Book 1, Page 139

Added 2020-08-09 01:48:10 +0000 UTC

Hi patrons,

First of all, thank you to my partner Naomi for the translation! (I know she worked and studied really hard for many years to become fluent in Japanese, but it still seems like some sort of benevolent superpower to me.)

Here is Barry's original script, along with Naomi's translation. Because Japanese is a pretty different language from English, there wasn't a one-to-one relationship with Barry's dialogue, so Naomi also provided the literal meaning.

PANEL 1

Kansas leans to her right and hiss-whispers to her sister.

KANSAS (Japanese): Don’t say anything.

光子、あの子の事、何も言わないで　(lit: Teruko, don't say anything about that girl)

TERUKO (Japanese): But isn’t this the girl from [english] book club--[/english]

え～っ？あの子ってBook Clubの人じゃない (lit: Huh? Isn't that the girl from book club?)

Becky's note: It was my idea to leave "book club" in English, to give non-Japanese-speakers a clue as to what they were saying. When I worked on cruise ships, the crew always used English for certain ship-words. So you could pick out words like "staff bar" even if the rest of the conversation was in Tagalog or something.

PANEL 2

More intense back and forth. Kansas raises her voice for the last line.

KANSAS (Japanese): Yes, it’s the same girl. But just don’t say anything right now.

そうだけど、今のところは内緒で (lit: Yes that's so, but let's just keep that between us right now)

TERUKO (Japanese): Why?

なんで？

KANSAS (Japanese): JUST DON’T SAY ANYTHING NOW!

だ・か・ら！！ (lit: BECAUSE [I SAID SO])

PANEL 3

A shot of Lillian’s dad, in the armchair, and Lillan’s mom, next to the armchair holding a drink, looking at each other uncomfortably. Teruko and Kansas speak from off panel.

TERUKO (Japanese): Don’t yell at me!

なに怒鳴りつけるんだ急に！ (lit: What is with you yelling at me all of a sudden!?)

KANSAS (Japanese): I’m sorry! But can we talk about this later?

お願いだからとにかく後の話にしましょう (lit: I'm asking you please, can we talk about this later?)

PANEL 4

A shot of Lillian, pulling on her collar and looking up and to the side with her eyeballs (i.e., looking nervous and guilty). [Note: we realized the gesture of "pulling on her collar" doesn't read when Lillian's wearing a dress, so we changed it.] Teruko and Kansas speak from off panel.

KANSAS (Japanese): We’re being very rude in front of the Lewises right now!

今先生たちの前にけんかして失礼じゃない (lit: We're being rude fighting in front of your teacher's family)

TERUKO (Japanese): You started it!

それはあんたのせいなの！まったくもっ！ (lit: That is YOUR fault, jeez!)

PANEL 5

A shot of the whole room, everyone looking super awkward. Kansas and Teruko, looking towards Dr and Mrs Lewis, smiling fake smiles.

KANSAS: I’m so sorry. My sister was just asking if I had book club tonight.

TERUKO: My, what smells good?

I ended up giving both lines in panel 5 to Kansas. If Teruko and Kansas were both speaking, readers might think at first glance that Teruko was the one saying "I'm so sorry," since the word balloons are closer to her. With Teruko's mouth closed, there's no doubt as to who's speaking. Also, in order to show Teruko speaking after Kansas, her word balloon would have to be either to the right of Kansas, with a long tail crossing Kansas' body awkwardly, or toward the bottom of the panel, in front of the flowers, making the right side of the panel feel empty and the left side feel crowded. I realize this sounds like a lot of thought. At a conscious level, my thought process was as fast as "What if I ignored Barry's script for something easier?" haha.

I couldn't get Lillian's final pose to work, in panel 5, so Barry's niece Sydney helped us out by modeling! She gave us several stellar facepalms to choose from, and this was my favorite. (Thanks Sydney!)