So many beautiful playstyles...

There are so many beautiful play styles to choose from. M2K, the machine, cold, clinical, calculating. Mang0, The Serial Killer, unpredictable, in your head, feeding on your emotions. Armada, the Jazz Pianist, improvisational, technically precise. So many beautiful ways to play this game, and yet you still chose to play like a bitch.

Mew2King, the Clown Prince of Smash, chaotic, murderous, insane, and scary, but the kind of guy you'd introduce your kids to at a party. Leffen, the Fluorescent Sarcophagus, delivering death as conspicuously as possible. Hungrybox, the Dinner Lady, who I think we've covered well enough. 

PPMD, the Gamer, known for his gaming prowess which is largely concentrated in a single game. lloD, the Conservative Lawyer, not the type to get you off the hook but the kind that will take you out to dinner and plant a kiss on your cheek at the end of the night. Hungrybox, the Pillsbury Doughboy, soft and delicious.  

Plup, the Bastard Child, sticking his nose where it doesn't fucking belong. If you come back to my house, I'll welcome you with a double-barrel shotgun, pal. HugS, the Gymnast, but an older, dying gymnast. Bones rotting and blood reeking of death. Milktea, the Milkman, though I'm not sure what he's delivering. If I had to guess, I'd say Milk. 

Chu Dat, the Piano Prodigy, can only play Chopsticks and is simple-minded, but we love him don't we? S2J, the Champion, a title he seems completely uninterested in living up to.

Hungrybox, the sex addict; all-consuming, primal. Driven by a lust so powerful it compels his opponents to admire him.  Mango, a Metal T-Rex, this is self-explanatory. HugS, the Stoner, where he goes and what he does is his business, but I have followed him and can tell you he actually has a very cool bedroom. 

Plup, the Pirate, has a hook for a hand and a foul mouth. Chillin, the Equestrian horse, living life on the saddle and a noble creature as any. He dies at the end of this tale. Armada, the robot, actually an improved and better version of M2K's robot. Mew2King, the fisherman, a popular playstyle among the super low tier ranks and one that I, personally, find very interesting. 

Leffen, the corporate businessman, pulling strings, making waves and doing whatever he has to to make that sweet, sweet cash. If anybody is going to make America great again, it's this clown.  Wizzrobe, the sea urchin, dirty and disgusting. 

Axe, the K-pop singer, a beautiful, innocent, and soft-headed child. You can't help but root for him. Plup, the Pony, a majestic creature living freely on the open range until he's shot dead by yours truly. MacD, the Barber, always changing his hairstyle, never changing his attitude. Chillindude829, the Athlete, not taking his job very seriously.    

Tafokints, the Nevernier, possibly the only person who has ever been born without talent. Frostbite, the Wizard, amazing and will have a place in history forever. I love this guy.

Wobbles, the bearded Samurai, strong and stoic and impressively sized in all the right areas. Alex19, the Muse, like a goddess on her high throne, we will sacrifice anything for her. MaNgO, the Drunk, an excellent soldier and tactician. He is what America needs, not this Cheeto Jesus sitting in the Oval Office right now.  

Zain, a man born with a reptile brain and bones made out of eagles and a heart made out of locusts. I'm worried about this guy. He's got a hard life ahead of him. HugS, the kind of guy who would build an army of robots in pursuit of a deranged vision of a mechanical utopia. I can't wait. 

lloD, the Miracle Worker, a young man whose insides are extremely, worryingly old. Chillin, the Patriarch, the man who weathered the storm before us and the man to which we owe our livelihood and success on the battlefield. Hax, the Artist, currently in rehab, making fantastic paintings and beautiful music. His greatness comes from his stubborn refusal to accept the status quo. We are all better for having known him. I wish I could have shared a dick with the man.