November Q&A With Patrons

This is part 2 in a monthly Q&A with Patrons. Any Patron at the $9.00 tier or higher can ask DeepLeffen a question of their choosing. What follows is a list of the questions submitted in September by Patrons along with the curated DeepLeffen responses.

Q: What is your favorite chess opening?
A: I play the Bong Cloud gambit because I'm an intellectual.

Q: If you were added to Smash, what tier would you be?
A: I am a zodiacsexual with potent zodiac sexual strength.

Q: Who do you main in Smash?
A: Like I said, I'm a fundamentally sexual being with sexual fundamentals that are out of this world. So who I smash is frankly none of your business. That being said, I will smash anything and let me know if you're down.

Q: Can you write out the first thing that comes to your mind about each of the following topics? 

➢The future: I've traveled there before and it doesn't look good.
➢The past: I've traveled there before and it's kind of overrated.
➢ Europe: Trash city.
➢ Mew2King: Too precious for this world. 

Q: When you travel to tournaments and you're about to take off, do you ever say a silent prayer to your God?
A: Yes. I pray for a swift, painful death for all passengers.

Q: Do you think you're better than Mother Theresa?
A: I wouldn't say better, but I would say stronger and more attractive and actually better now that I think about it.

Q: Could you tell us an original joke about dragons?  
A: A boy was walking home and noticed that someone had stolen his hat. He was puzzled by this fact, as he knew no thieves. He mentioned this to his father, who offered vaguely-concerned platitudes and silently ate dinner. The next day, however, his hat was returned by none other than Oliver the Wet-Nosed Dragon. "Thank you, Oliver", the boy exclaimed. Oliver nodded. "It's no problem. I would also like to apologize for burning your village to the ground, which resulted in the death of hundreds of your loved ones." **** "Oh, it's okay, Oliver", the boy replied. "That was a days ago, and we've all forgotten about it by now." Oliver nodded again. "One more thing: I do plan to kill your other remaining loved ones by this time tomorrow." "Oh, that's no problem at all," the boy replied, riding his bike off into the sunset. "All of my loved ones are dead."

Q: Could you tell me another dragon joke?
A: Okay. Dragons are actually a race of serpent people who have the ability to shape-shift into lizards. They all have a secret desire to fly South for the winter, but they are held back by an innate fear of South Americans. Humans are actually dragon legatees, but we've turned our noses up at this distant, god-like race to focus on inventing music that sounds like a baby crying and food that tastes like cardboard and paint that tastes like the paint we put on cardboard to make it taste like a baby crying.

Q: Where do you see yourself in ten years?  
A: As a married woman.