A Broken World [Rewrite] - Chapter Fourteen - A Godless World

**Terrasin deVon Almistraus**

The meeting with Duke Versi had been, as Terrasin had expected, very close to a complete disaster.  Moreover, she was certain that Lucas was not aware how close he had come to being sidelined by the Duke.  Terrasin herself had been the one to tell Lucas that explaining a plan in full detail would not be helpful; no noble worth their salt would expect a plan to go smoothly, so a degree of adaptation is far more trustworthy than an all encompassing plan, but…

Well, Lucas had taken it way to far in the other direction.  If she were to summarize what he had said to the Duke, she would have to say that Lucas had basically said that the Duke was not smart enough to understand what Lucas was going to do.  Honestly, that might actually be true.  Terrasin had spent enough time around the man to know just how intelligent he was, but that was only when it came to the natural world.  Politically, Lucas was an idiot, because only an idiot would so obviously insinuate his contempt for the world he was in while asking for help from someone.

Worse still, Terrasin found that contempt hurt.  Even the man’s compliments would have a barb on the end.  After the meeting, Lucas had complimented her dress and hair, even called them beautiful- and then he had said that it looked extremely uncomfortable, and he did not envy how early she must have gotten up.  He asked her if she would rather something more simple and comfortable.

If she just answered the question, Terrasin would have to say it depended on her mood.  Hours of effort coming together into an outfit of remarkable beauty and being able to walk into a room knowing that you are beautiful, it is something that Terrasin enjoyed very much.  Who would not want to feel beautiful?  On the other hand, as a princess this was a daily event for her, and yes, some days she wished she could skip it and dress simply.

However, the condescension behind the statement was painful.  The way Lucas asked that question, as if Terrasin was too foolish to have considered other options or was too weak to choose them if she wanted.  Even if he often said reasonable things, the way Lucas spoke was often just simply offensive.  And when he lost his temper…

Could Terrasin confront him on this?  Probably not, she thought to herself.  She was, as far as Lucas seemed to be concerned, his primary abductor.  Because she was a girl, because she was pretty, Lucas did not seem to be able to stay angry at her, although that was also infuriating.  She did not want Lucas to hate her; Lucas was a Hero and her hero.  He had saved her life twice, at great risk to himself, for absolutely no benefit.  Sure, behind his words were contempt and condescension and behind those was what Terrasin believed to be a fairly selfish person, but all of that was hiding the core of Lucas, which was far more selfless than he let on.

For him to think so little of her that he did not even hold her responsible for her own actions was…  Hurtful in ways Terrasin was not even sure how to describe.  She was proud of her family, of what they had done for humanity and this world.  Yet, Lucas’s words would have her lying awake at night wondering if the reason for Lucas’s contempt and condescension was because it was actually warranted; that her world and her people were so far beneath Lucas that he would never even consider them human, much less his equal.

She had put her family’s honor on the line in the conversation with the Duke, and she knew that Lucas had no idea that she had done so.  Terrasin did not want to tell him, for fear that he would not approve and that she would have to face his words again.  In the end, she did not think it mattered.  He might be flawed, but Lucas certainly could do as he promised and she was certain about what the man was at his core.

Honestly, she did not have time for these thoughts as they were on the way to a meeting with the Church.  Lucas seemed quite interested in the city outside, but he was not able to hide his conflicted expression from Terrasin.  He struggled to hide it, but he had worn it since the topic of the Church had come up, and it worried Terrasin quite a bit.  Perhaps she should try to find out why before the meeting with the Cardinal, as long as she can avoid setting of his temper…

“What was the Church like in your world?”  Terrasin asked, partially to begin unravelling Lucas’s thoughts and partially out of genuine curiosity.  “The Sorceress had slightly different practices than the Speaker, so I imagine there would be differences with you as well.”

Lucas pulled his eyes away from the market they were passing through and met Terrasin’s; she had to suppress a shiver when he studied her like that.  Lucas’s ineptitude with people was due to a lack of interest, the way he looked at her made her feel like if he became interested he would pick her mind apart to understand her.  Terrasin was unsure that if he did that he would put the pieces back in the same order.

This time, he seemed to simply be trying to judge what he should say and whether or not he should say it.  Finally, he sighed- he did that often, and his sighs were quite loud.

“Were it anyone else that asked that question,” he sighed again.  “I wouldn’t answer it.  However, if there is one person I trust in this world, it would be you.”

And then, after all the complaints she had in her mind, he says things like that and obviously means it.  Bouncing back and forth between his approval and disapproval was worse for her heart than just staying at one or the other!

“Does this word, agnostic, translate?”  Lucas asked, and Terrasin told him that it did not.  This got her another sigh as he ran his hand through his hair.

“There are many ‘Churches,’ in my world, you might say.”  Lucas closed his eyes and leaned back as he spoke.  Having observed Lucas over the past almost two weeks, Terrasin was fairly certain he was avoiding meeting her eyes as he spoke.  He did not even want to see her reaction, which meant he expected her to dislike what he would say.  “So many religions, so many Gods and interpretations, yet so little evidence.  In the end, religion requires faith; it requires a belief in the supernatural.  But why should any one religion be given more consideration than another?  If none of them have evidence and all of them require faith in things that can not be seen or proven, why should I treat them different than any other claim that I am supposed to take on faith?”

Terrasin listened, and had to admit to being confused.  Multiple Churches?  Multiple religions?

“The word agnostic means to believe that nothing can be known about God beyond what can be deduced from natural phenomena.  By itself, it does not really make a claim of belief or disbelief.  However, there is no natural phenomena that implies anything divine that has ever been observed, and so I am also an atheist.  If there is a god or gods that exist and interact with the universe, than their actions should be observable.  There are no observable events which imply the existence of a god or gods, therefore, it is unlikely that such a being or beings exist and I will live my life under that assumption until I receive evidence otherwise.”

“But you have seen the power of the Church for yourself!”  Terrasin pointed out, remembering that Lucas would have seen Paladins in action during their flight from Uri.  “Well, you were injured then, perhaps you missed it?”

Lucas frowned and seemed to think for a while, then shook his head.

“I am sorry, I do not remember it.  Honestly, I have a hard time remembering much from that time.  However, I am not sure it will make a difference.”

“Seeing the power of the Gods channeled through their servants would not make a difference?”  Terrasin was incredulous.  If anything proved that Lucas had not seen the Paladins, this was it.  How could anyone see them smite Demons and not see the power behind them?

“All kinds of natural phenomena were, and sometimes still are, attributed to a god or gods even when science can give a rational explanation,” Lucas replied slowly.  “Of course, it also depends on your definition of a god.  For all I know, there are definite beings behind the power of your Church and that those beings meet your definition of a god and that therefore your gods are real.”

“There have been many different definitions for gods in my world,” Lucas continued.  “But aside, I think, from Buddhism, most modern religions have a god or gods of such extreme power that it would be beyond human imagination…  I try to avoid discussions on this topic, to be honest, I am not entirely sure I want to speak more on it.  Perhaps the best summary of the issue is a variant of the Epicurean Trilemma in regards to the Problem of Evil: If God is able to prevent evil, but unwilling to do so, he malevolent.  If God is unable to prevent evil, but is willing to do so, he is impotent.  If God is both willing and able to prevent evil, then why is there evil?”

“Even beyond the challenge the trilemma poses to the claim of a good and powerful god, it raises the question: Why should God be worshipped at all?  The only reasonable answers to the question are the first two options, the third is a false choice no matter how someone tries to answer it; a trap set for the answerer because any attempt to justify evil implies god lacks the power to do away with that justification, and is thus impotent.  If God is impotent or malevolent, why worship God at all?”

Lucas looked back out the window, and Terrasin saw his face twist in distress before it smoothed out again.  Despite looking out the carriage window, she did not think he was seeing the scene outside.  No, Lucas was lost in thought still as he spoke.

“I was raised in a religious family.”  His voice dropped, almost a whisper that Terrasin had to strain to hear over the rattle of the carriage wheels on cobblestone and the sound of horseshoes hitting them as well.  “I tried- desperately- to find an answer to that question and more than a few others.  I still try, though less and less frequently as I get older, but I never get an answer.  Sometimes, when I have a rare moment of free time, I find myself thinking that I will one day die and find myself in hell.  Sometimes, I try and force myself to believe.  Sometimes, I find myself praying to a being I do not even think exists.  But belief cannot be forced and age has only made me more cynical; more skeptical.”

Lucas lapsed into pained silence after that, and Terrasin was unsure how to fill that void.  Fortunately, perhaps, Lucas himself broke the silence not long after in a much stronger and cheerier tone.

“Still, maybe this time I will find my answers!”  He chuckled, “After all, these will be the first priests I have ever met able to get an answer from the beings they worship.  Anyway, the important question for me today is why do they want to meet me and what kind of influence do they have?”

These, at least, were questions she could answer; questions she could consider without feeling sorrow for the man across from her.  That said, the ride would be over before she could get through half of even the basics.  Terrasin knew she would have to condense as much as she could, although she was certain the Cardinal would be happy to explain the details to Lucas as well.

“The reason they want to meet with you is simple,” Terrasin said easily.  “Though, honestly, I doubt many outside of my home country, or even my family for that matter, would be aware of it.  The Church will declare you a Saint, and they will throw the whole of their support behind you.”

Lucas blinked at her for a second, and Terrasin did have a moment of guilty pleasure at his lack of comprehension.

“You doubt people outside of your country would know this…  The Duke did not, I presume?”

Terrasin nodded, pleased that Lucas had caught that.  He might be politically inept now, but he did have potential.  No one with such a scrutinizing gaze would lack it, though it was that gaze that made Terrasin wonder if cultivating Lucas’s talent was a good idea at all.

“Knowing you, even for such a short time, you must have a good reason.”  Lucas quirked an eyebrow up, somewhat amused apparently.  “I have to admit, it seems like the meeting with the Duke would have been very easy if I had the Church’s support.”

“It would have,” Terrasin admitted, it was the truth, just not the whole truth.  “There is a good reason to have made the deal with the Duke before and without the Church though.  As much as I have faith in its teachings, it cannot be denied that the Church is an extension of Ulian- a country southeast from Francea.  Though some might contend that Ulian is an extension of the Church, the end result is that the Church is not free from the constraints of politics.  To make matters worse, Ulian is often at odds with Francea- with every human country- because their royal line traces back to the rulers of Uri, which was the capital of the ancient country of Ulian- that they claim to be, and thus have claim over all of its territories.  Those territories include the entirety of human lands.”

“So should I treat this as meeting another country?”  Lucas asked with a frown.  As well he should considering how poorly he did with the Duke!

“No, though the two are inextricably tied together, the Church and Ulian are separate entities.”  Terrasin tried to explain, realising that with the time she had in the place she was she could only do a poor job at best.  “The Church places its teachings before the agenda of Ulian; they have prevented many quarrels from becoming wars over the years.  They are the voice of reason in that country, and their efforts outside of it are so well received that their connection to Ulian- and actions on its behalf- go uncontested.”

“It sounds to me,” Lucas rubbed his chin in thought.  “That what you have said would make them the most powerful organisation in this world, among humans at least.”

In many ways, Lucas was correct.  However, there was a great deal of nuance to the situation that Terrasin spent the rest of the ride trying to explain.  The Church had no direct authority outside of Ulian, but even beyond the Paladins and Priests under its command, the Church directed the volunteer forces from the southern countries that were not on the front line.  In this way, no country had direct control over the volunteer forces that owed allegiance to the southern countries, and should the Church try and abuse its power to control the other countries in the world, those forces could be withdrawn and leave the Church without the bulk of its forces.

This balance of power extended to other areas as well.  Though there were some differences between the systems of the various countries, it could be said that roughly eighty percent of the population was peasants in some form of serfdom or contracted servitude.  Anyone could escape their position though, the Church could and would legally accept anyone who wished to join.  Generally, no one would do so unless forced by their Lords, because doing so was a one way ticket to the front lines and a swift death.

But if a Lord displeased the Church, the Church could make it known that they would send volunteers elsewhere or even make them free citizens in Ulian and rip away a fief’s labor force with very little options for recourse on the side of the Lord.  The issue would need to be taken to the Royals, and if the Church was using such tactics they likely already had the Royalty’s support.

This balance was a large part of what held the human countries together and away from each other’s throats.  It also meant that the Church could never wield its power recklessly without facing pushback from every human country outside of Ulian.

“What you are describing…”  Lucas was fascinated with Terrasin’s description, “What an elegant solution, wonderfully designed.”

“A contingency left by the Speaker in case the worst should ever come to pass,” Terrasin said a small prayer in thanks.  “His foresight and preparation are legendary for good reason, though I suppose you have yet to hear those legends…”

Lucas smiled at her, “I will have you tell them to me another time perhaps.  I used to quite enjoy stories of all kinds, and it will likely be a while before I can develop a printing industry here, so I will need something to tide me over until I can get a novel in my hands.  However, it seems we will have to leave that for later.”

He gestured out the window at the austere building before them, “I am guessing that we have arrived.  That was certainly a longer trip than I would have thought though.”