Dogshell Inks Continued

I had a lovely beach day with a friend yesterday and I was very glad for the plan because there was sad news just a day before, so it was a much needed distraction.

The let's player team I've been watching since around 2017/18 had one of its members leave the group after 15 years together. Even though I wasn't watching their content as much for a few years now, their dynamic as a group was a constant presence in my life since I moved back to NZ from Japan when I graduated uni. That's almost my entire life as an adult until now, and it feels like an end of an era, as over the top as that sounds.

Even though I'm super sad to see that member leave the group to do his own thing from now on, it's strangely comforting because it feels like closure to me. I've been feeling like my career as an artist hasn't been growing as much as I hoped it would by now, just kind of pitter-pattering with incremental growth that isn't quite keeping up with the demands and changes in society. I knew I had to change something about my practice for a while now, but I hadn't known what or how, and I still don't know. But with the exit of that member from a group that's been a part of my life for 7~8 years it has inadvertently kick started the process of closing the curtains for the chapter of my life I currently still feel so stuck in. The group was making huge progress in their careers especially recently, and for a member to leave during the height of their success to pursue something else had had to have been a huge leap of faith I can't even begin to wrap my head around. But that is sometimes what's necessary to be truly fulfilled someday, and it's given me much encouragement to hopefully do the same soon.

I'm honestly a little taken aback myself at how much this news meant to me, especially since I dropped off from following the group as intently quite a while ago. Even then, as a hopeless romantic finding meaning in these kinds of events, converting that to fuel my own search for creative fulfilment is some kind of perk I suppose.