Bringing up Conflict, Part Two: Tips & Tools
Added 2024-03-31 14:20:27 +0000 UTCHi! Happy Easter, if you celebrate. 🐣
Following up to last week's patron exclusive, here's part two about bringing up conflict. Here are some practical tools that I use in my own life to maximize the chances I'm understood the way I intend, and to avoid setting an adversarial vibe to the conversation. As always, this is just what works for me, but please feel free to use or adapt these things, if you think they might suit you.
Timecode:
0.00 - Intro
01.05 - Headline thought (not too general, not too specific)
03.23 - Logistics (when? where? in what format?)
05.55 - What is the goal? (e.g. to just be heard, to brainstorm solutions, to have them agree to start or stop doing something, etc.)
08.20 - Same team reminders (time outs, tap outs, safe words, self soothing/regulation, coming back together to be teammates in resolving the conflict)
10.40 - Avoiding landmines (trying to avoid causing new pain, even if we're hurting. Thoughtfulness with form, but not mistaking form for substance...)
13.15 - Exit plan (post-conflict plan to end things cleanly, switch gears or even aid in resolution)
16.13 - Outro
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Transcript attached at the bottom of this post, auto-generated by Otter AI.
With love,
Genevieve
Comments
For sure, one thing I’ve definitely learned being so visible online is that no matter how thoughtful you are with your words, people will hear it through their own filters. 😅 we do our best to be clear and caring, but we can never control the outcome
Morgan
2024-04-07 10:58:33 +0000 UTCThis is hands down one of the most helpful videos of yours I've ever watched. I've tried a lot of what you suggest already, but it's always helpful to revise, be reminded and inspired by your take on those ideas. I also really appreciated the acknowledgement of how other's reaction to this approaches is a wildcard. So often when I see similar content/advice it explicitly or implicitly suggests that if I 'do it well', others will respond well. When they don't, it makes me doubt myself, and loose hope that I can interact with people in the kind and open way I'm aiming for. It really helps me to remember that no matter how much I practice these techniques, some things are out of my control and that's OK
Rachel
2024-04-07 03:38:33 +0000 UTC
