LIVE Chat: On Equal power vs. Equal time, Being the "More Available" Partner, and Anti-hierarchy in 24/7 Kink Dynamics

Thanks to all who came out for the first Live chat of 2024! The recording is here, with approximate timecode markers below. I hope they can be helpful.

Timecode:

• 00.00 Intro
• 02.16 What are your goals for 2024? Did you achieve what you wanted in 2023?
• 09.15 Offering reflections for your own 2024 goals. Motives, wariness of militance or binary thinking. Are there any "should"s in your goals? e.g. Low libido, thinking "I 'should' work on this..." etc.
• 13.35 (Kink & RA part 1) How might polyam, especially relationship anarchy, function in 24/7 D/S kink dynamics?
• 16.35 How to avoid the trap of being the one "always available" / always expected to be the flexible one? Power dynamics and expectations around asymmetry of time. Wishing vs. planning, wanting vs. doing.
• 24.55 Clarity in "casual" connections. What to consider in a sexual friendship, where the person wants to cut things off once we start seeing someone else?
• 29.30 How can we be equal to our metamours if we don't get the same amount of time with our partner? Differentiating priority and power, equality and equity.
• 36.55 Tips on navigating parallel polyam with one partner, and kitchen table polyam with others? Don't Ask Don't Tell vs. Some Ask Some Tell.
• 43.15 Do you ever want a break from the complexity of polyamory? Polysaturation, burnout, not prioritizing emotional labor because of other life circumstances, etc.
• 49.25 How do you stay optimistic as a woman who dates men, especially with exhaustion around misogyny or weaponized incompetence? Not giving up on finding companionship while not giving up our standards.
• 56.55 (Kink & RA part 2) How does being a submissive hinge work in 24/7 D/S kink dynamics? Is it similar to having 2 jobs and 2 bosses? Negotiating power and roles, avoiding triangulation, clearly framing your own decision-making while being in a subordinate role.

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Automated transcription attached at the bottom of this post, via Otter AI

xx

Morgan