Reacting to Fellow Travelers - Episode 4
Added 2023-11-19 14:43:12 +0000 UTCGoooood afternoon beautiful Patreon family,
Welcome back to another episode of emotional damage from Fellow Travelers 🤣
As this series goes on I am finding it progressively harder and harder to watch and I can confirm that reaction to 2 episodes in one week was not a great idea. I will be very glad for a week away from this show to decompress.
So many thoughts... so many feelings... but I am curious - what are your thoughts about Hawk in this episode?
See you in the comments!
Love, always ♥️
Comments
I think the 80’s version of Lucy knows everything
Erin
2023-11-27 16:29:55 +0000 UTCJust got round to watching this episode and omg, i don't know how Hawk manages to live with all the knowledge of who he's hurt/ing, using and the guilt that he says he doesn't have but i'm sure its in there somewhere, especially the stuff including Tim. I'm not sure so much about Lucy, she is just a shield for him to cover up his other lifestyle. A question...do we know if Lucy knows about his whole other side or just about Tim? I know its going to happen at some point but i didn't think it would be soo soon and i felt the same as you Jackie when he walked into the flat and no sign of Tim :( Such a sad show that i need to keep watching.
Audrey Gunn
2023-11-26 13:07:15 +0000 UTCI think Hawk is a manipulative survivor. I believe he builds a wall around himself and represses his feelings. He can do it even with a lie detector. I don’t think he’s a bad person. McCarthy’s wife gave me the chills when she said “I hope they all die.” This an important and riveting show,
Jon Anthony Carsello
2023-11-22 03:55:12 +0000 UTCAbsolutely! I initially watched it because Harry Styles is in it. I immediately fell in love with the movie. Now I’ve learned that the actor who plays Lucy’s father in Fellow Travelers plays the senior Tom in My Policeman
Diane Furlong
2023-11-20 14:01:27 +0000 UTCMy Policeman is definitely worth a watch ❤️
Audrey Gunn
2023-11-20 13:14:45 +0000 UTCmatt is also in the normal heart which is absolutely incredible but also so heartbreaking - should definitely add that to the list aswell
Olivia
2023-11-20 10:20:30 +0000 UTCIf you wanna continue on this 60s wave, I HIGHLY recommend The Boys in the Band and My Policeman. They both got mixed reviews but I loved both of them. You will 😭. Matt Bomer (who plays Hawk in FT) is in TBITB if it helps convince you.
April Moellendick
2023-11-20 06:00:07 +0000 UTCThat opening scene alone… 🤯 New characters, no dialog from the main person, and yet such excellent directing, acting, storytelling, music etc had us all feeling so much in such a short time. Freaking brilliant show.
Kim Engel
2023-11-20 01:49:19 +0000 UTCI struggle with Hawk. I can understand why he is behaving like that, but I don't agree or empathize at this point in his story. Everyone in a horrible situation has coping mechanisms & survival strategies, but he is consistently choosing ones that are harmful to himself and others. I'm only watching this show with you because it honestly too much to deal with on my own right at the moment. I've read a lot of this history so it's not shocking or surprising, just upsetting.
Rowan Cannell
2023-11-19 17:50:14 +0000 UTCI don’t disagree with you Jackie and I totally understand. I guess I’m just empathetic to Hawk in some situations.
Diane Furlong
2023-11-19 16:52:57 +0000 UTCAgreed
Diane Furlong
2023-11-19 16:50:25 +0000 UTCI think we all thought Tim was going to say I can’t wear your initials because it would be dangerous. Then he’s so happy. So beautiful
Diane Furlong
2023-11-19 16:27:50 +0000 UTCJackie are you sure that those last two guys were at that time or was Hawk looking back. He fought off the guy at that bar, and to me it looked like he was reflecting and was thinking about those hookups and then wanting to get back to Tim. I could be totally wrong. Also, thinking about Hawk’s earlier choices in the episode, not that it’s right, but everyone is just trying to get through those horrible challenges. Then Tim and Lucy essentially in the same situation of Getting by at the end. I was thinking more about this as I drove to the grocery store. In the San Francisco bar Hawk is dressed casually in the 80s, in the bathroom stall he’s wearing a suit and Fedora in the 50s. I think he’s realizing that maybe he’s not Bulletproof. He already commented earlier, maybe in episode 2 or 3, not everyone is Bulletproof
Diane Furlong
2023-11-19 16:05:58 +0000 UTC100% agree
Olivia
2023-11-19 16:01:29 +0000 UTCWhen Tim said, "I can't bear being this happy," it broke me. It broke me in half because we already knew what would be coming for him in the decades ahead. I had to pause the episode and cry it out for a few minutes. The gay men that I know have all been there; we've all felt the kind of strong and relentless feelings for someone we know can't give the investment back to us that we've made in them. Hawkins loves Tim but hates himself, and that self-hate and internalised homophobia are what inform his terrible personal choices in a way that make him all too real but also all too easy to hate. Thank you, Jackie, for putting yourself through these emotions for us. Your reactions make the depths of the show easier to bear.
Dave K.
2023-11-19 15:58:40 +0000 UTCI don’t think what Hawk did was right, but I get it (I don’t know what that says about me). He very clearly loves Tim (I think it’s clear) but refuses any and all emotion for various reasons until he simmers for a bit. Even in the 80s he’s sill that way. In ep one, he didn’t tell Tim about Kenny till he simmered for a bit and in episode 4, he had to simmer with Tim’s request for a phone call. He’s very much in denial that time is slipping away with Tim because he’s dying. They wasted too much time and now he can’t deal. As for his using people and manipulating them, it’s not right by any means but again, I get it. I don’t think he’s proud of the things he’s done, I sense a lot of regret in a lot of different areas but I think he’s just trying to survive and also get overseas no matter the cost, even if it’s Tim. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, right? So I don’t want to judge him and say well, I wouldn’t do this or that, because I don’t know what I would’ve done in this time and how I would’ve justified it to myself. It’s never okay to use people and manipulate them but they all did it back then. He’s just playing their game and he’s got to live with the consequences. Side note: so happy to see that Marcus and Frankie are thriving. I love them. Good on Marcus for continuing to call Hawk on his crap, then and now.
Jamie
2023-11-19 15:51:43 +0000 UTCI respectfully disagree. I understand he is trying to survive but I don't feel like that should mean we accept his willingness to use and abuse anyone around him for his gain. Do I sympathise with his situation? Yes incredibly so. Does that make me ignore how he treats others and in large Tim? No.
Jackie-Ross Lavender
2023-11-19 15:06:34 +0000 UTCI said in the previous episodes comments about my sympathy towards Hawk and included this extract from an interview with Johnathan Bailey: “I think everyone has a bit of Tim or Hawkins in themselves, but the thing I really relate to with Tim is his need for integrity, he cannot not be himself. I think Hawk can operate on multiple different levels, and both are not right or wrong in their survival under this horrible system” I think its very easy to sit now, watching this show in 2023 with a 2023 perspective, and say you cant sympathise with or see any redeeming qualities in Hawk when in reality none of us know how we would act or what we would do in this period of time having not had to live through it ourselves. This is a man trying to survive at whatever cost, even if its at a cost to his own happiness and the happiness of those around him - I am in no way trying to justify or defend his actions because like I said he his hurting those around him by doing so but I merely can understand where he is coming from and why he acts the way he does given the time period and situation he is in - liking a character and having an understanding for their actions don’t have to be mutually exclusive
Olivia
2023-11-19 15:01:23 +0000 UTCNoo, I only watched episode 3 yesterday, I can’t watch another one yet 😢
Audrey Gunn
2023-11-19 14:44:46 +0000 UTC
