Romance in Ashe & SDA: Immersive vs. Sandbox

(Not pictured, Serana/Ashe can romance female Dragonborns as well)

Quick heads-up

As I've started prepping for the banter between the two, I’ve wrestled with this system for months because I wanted three things to coexist (especially since you can romance characters in both of my mods):

• Authentic Serana – a survivor who wouldn’t casually tolerate sharing.

• Authentic Ashe – more flexible, but still expects honesty.

• Player Fun – nobody enjoys being railroaded if they came for pure sandbox freedom.

After a lot of testing (and plenty of late-night “what if” flowcharts) I landed on a simple split that lets every playstyle breathe without breaking character integrity. Here’s how it works.

The Two Modes

*Note: You do not need to have romanced Ashe for this to trigger. If you have not romanced Ashe, this decides whether or not future romance with her is gated or permitted. If she is already romanced, this decides whether you end the romance or continue it.

Note II: Serana already recognizes existing (vanilla) marriages and opts out of romancing you early. With other characters you can romance (like Auri), if it does not use the vanilla system Serana does not recognize it. I'm open to updating this, but the authors of said follower(s) need to get in contact with me first so we can update the banter integrations accordingly.

Note III: Serana is the first banter partner of Ashe. Ashe currently does not detect other romances (vanilla or modded) and will change in the future as integrations come in (just handled slightly differently as Ashe is more open).

Note IV: Choosing Fantasy disables exclusivity: Serana and Ashe won’t acknowledge each other’s affections, letting you romance both freely without conflict or consequences. It mimics base Skyrim’s hands-off approach - no jealousy, no narrative fallout - ideal for players who prefer uninterrupted, sandbox-style romance.

Why bother splitting it?

• Respecting the characters – Serana’s history (especially considering her trust issues and Molag Bal) screams “monogamy or nothing.” Ashe is chill but still wants clarity.

• Respecting the players – Some folks crave those emotional stakes; others just want to role-play a charming Dragonborn with zero drama.

• Keeping development sane – Two clean branches are easier to test (and less bug-prone) than trying to make a one-size-fits-all mega system.

What doesn’t change

Whichever mode you pick…

• Early flirting stays wide open. Nothing locks until the post DG decision.

• No secret love-potions, no hidden harem unlock. If you want poly, choose Fantasy; if you want reality and full character fidelity, well... choose Reality.

• Both companions remain followers even if romance ends - gameplay freedom is untouched.

I want your thoughts

This split feels like the best balance, but I’m still open to feedback.

Drop it here, on Discord, or the Nexus page. I read it all - even if I can’t reply to every comment! :)

ty ty, stay awesome folks! - Marty