First Drafts

Here are a few first drafts of texts compared to the final version to give you a peek into our writing process and how jokes can change.

First draft:

Human Torch: Heads up, Spiderman just came back from a mission with Dr Strange. He's seen some weird stuff so he'll believe anything for awhile.

Iron Fist: Okay, so take it easy on the mysticism around him for awhile?

HT: No, the opposite, mess with him. I told him we were in a mirror world and the only way out was to talk backwards all day.

IF: So that's why he's been saying "Namredips doohhgien yldneirf" all day?

HT: OH MY GOD IT WORKED! Yes!

Final version:

Dr. Strange: Spiderman, I require your assistance for a mission.

Spiderman: No. No. Oh please no, I just finished fighting Mysterio and I'm having a tough enough time distinguishing reality without your craziness.

Dr. Strange: You'll be fine. You won't even have to go far. I just need your help. 

Spiderman: Okay, as long as it's not too weird. Where do you need me?

Dr. Strange: Your Aunt May's mouth is a portal to the mirror world, climb in, I'm already in here.

Spiderman: I hate everything.

First draft (needed to be shortened): 

Professor X: We should have more frequent sessions to attempt to unlock your buried memories.

Wolverine: I don't need 'em. I know Yukiko is dead, Striker was an A-Hole, Sabertooth is also an a-hole. What else do I need to know?

X: Anything. You're a teacher at this school Logan and you don't have any teachable skills. 

L: You turned down my class idea.

X: Beer tasting is not an appropriate topic and you know it. Now, you lived in Japan, do you speak Japanese?

L: Maybe, I forget.

X: Do you know the leading causes of The Great War?

L: Why would I know that?

X: Because you were in it!

L: Really? Wild.

Final version:

X: We need you to actually teach a class Logan. Maybe a language. You lived in Japan, do you speak Japanese?

L: Maybe, I forget. Bad memory.

X: What about history. You could teach about The Great War.

L: Why would I know anything about that?

X: Because you were in it!

L: Really? Wild.

X: Is there anything you could teach despite your terrible memory?

L: Beer tasting?

X: These are youngsters Logan.

L: Cigars?

First draft:

Nightwing: Hey, just a heads up for the Titans, I'm changing my name to Nightwing.

Kid Flash: Cool. Nightwing. So you're gonna have a new costume with black wings?

NW: Uh no.

KF: Oh. So the name is because you're the Dark Knight's wingman?

NW: No, Batman and I actually aren't working together anymore.

KF: You didn't get it from one of those Find Out Your Superhero Name memes did you?

NW: Would that be bad?

KF: It's not great.

NW: Your name would be Dark Spectre.

KF: All right that's pretty cool.

Final version:

Batman: We could use your help back in Gotham.

Nightwing: Handle it yourself. I'm not part of the team anymore. That why I changed my name, I'm not Robin anymore, I'm Nightwing.

B: Is that why you chose that nonsense name? To distance yourself from me?

N: Nightwing is a name that suits me perfectly.

B: Then where are your wings?

N: Dammit! Wings! I knew I forgot something.

First draft (not used because too similar to text we already ran)

Deadpool: I just saw Logan!

Hugh Jackman: Seriously Reynolds stop doing this bit.

D: Not a bit. Legit Deadpool. Anyway, X-23 gave me an idea. You have claws right?

HJ: The character I play has claws.

D: And X-23 improves upon it with foot claws.

HJ: Sure.

D: What about knee claws! Elbow claws! Neck claws!

HJ: Sounds great.

D: Okay bud I'm gonna go get neck claws. Thanks!

HJ: What is happening!?