OKG ch 69 Early Release

Disclaimer: Bonesboy15 doesn't own Helluva Boss or Naruto. The following is a written work of fan-fiction. It contains adult language and situations. Reader discretion is advised.

One Knuckleheaded Glutton

"6969"

—–––—

It was so fucking cold.

Loona shivered as she wandered through the wastes. Her arms and tail wound tight around her body. Frost built along her fur and she fought back another sneeze. She had been wandering through this snowfall shit for what felt like weeks, maybe even months.

Loona was, for lack of a better word, miserable.

It started a week after she convinced her Doof to agree to that stupid ritual of Mephistopheles'; she'd started to get a Chill, but ignored it with enough coffee intake from The Hothead's a few blocks away from the office. That worked for about three days before she started to sneeze and lose control of her magic, until she was benched after turning one yappy client into a complete icicle. Things only got worse, and weirder, after they got booted from their apartment. The weather started to change, and Pride's warm and temperate climate dropped to match something expected of Sloth's mountainous regions. An impossibility, she'd thought in her Chill-induced haze.

Then, with the subtle nudge of Belphegor's online health advice, came her submission to the exhaustion. After that, well, she wasn't ever completely sure when she was awake or not. She would often find herself switching through the endless trek through frost and snow – unsure if it was a dream or if the storm had really gotten this fucking bad – and waking in Blitzø's office, a warm cup of her favorite coffee awaiting her. Say the shit she might about the Imp that adopted her, but when Blitzø showed he cared, he fucking cared.

"..idn't mean to do any–!"

Huh, it was almost like she could hear him.

"Daaad!" Loona called into the endless winter as a particularly rough gale suddenly assaulted her. "Fatty! Millie?! Can you fuckers hear me?!"

"–sn't this bad before you left! The fuck is–?!"

"...Doof?" She whined in hope as the blizzard grew ferocious. She ducked her head down and kept trudging through the cold. A whimper slipped from her lips and her tail curled at her legs. "Doof!? Are you out there?! ..Please? Please talk to me."

"Right here, Loon." The murmur felt like it was in her ear. Warmth engulfed her and she leaned into it, able to ignore the frigid winds around her if but for a moment. If she closed her eyes tight, she could pretend to be in his arms. Just like she wanted to be. The longer she did that, the more it felt like the storm lessened, and the warmth felt real.

"I just want to get out of this shit, Doof. I feel so fucking awful." Loona wasn't normally one to bitch or complain, usually she'd let a growl or groan express her frustration or annoyance. But this blizzard shit was so fucking old and it felt like it had been going on for forever! She wanted to get back to her job or hang out with her mate, if not do other things. Fuck, kiss, or most importantly, Boop. She missed the Boops the most. They were the best high she'd ever had, and Booping with another or by herself wasn't possible. Loona felt her eyes burn and keened as she imagined how Naruto would try to console her, nuzzle her. "Fuckin' dammit. I miss you, Doof."

"I know, Loon," she could hear his voice murmur as if it was in her ear. The faint memory of his warm breath coasted over her pierced ear as if he was there with her in the blizzard. "I love you, baby. I want you to feel better, but I don't know how to help."

"Stay with me." Loona whimpered, and pushed back into the phantom embrace that felt too real to be real. She wanted it to be real, desperately, but knew it was probably just another twisted dream. "I don't...I don't want to be alone anymore, Doof. Don't leave me alone."

"I'm not going anywhere, Loon." Her Doof, her mate, her love and life she'd found on a chance, would promise to her without saying the words. She knew it, because she knew him. Just as he knew her. "I'm here, Loon. I'm here."

—–––—

"I'm here, Loon. I'm here." Naruto mumbled, as he nuzzled the whimpering Hellhound in his arms. She'd started muttering incoherent and incomplete sentences under her breath as the Chill reached a new low. It was taking all of his willpower not to rush her to Sloth, given what the apparent expert and his friend had told him. His clones and son were fending off the horde of Sinners clamoring into and around the building. Fucking Douchifer had made a decree that promised Imp City to whoever stopped the storm around it. Somehow – they got it in their deluded heads that Loona was causing it.

"Doof..." Loona whined as she pushed into him and Naruto felt his heart break. He hated hearing her whine like that; the only whines and whimpers he liked were those she let out during their throws of passion. He rumbled and nuzzled his snout against her head.

"It's okay, babe. Shh, it's gonna be okay. You're gonna be fine." He mumbled. His eyes narrowed as he looked up at the Imp and Pup that were watching him. "Blitzø...What the fuck did you do?"

"Like I was saying–" the hunched over, out of breath Imp grumbled. He pointed his thumb at the pup beside him. "I went and got one of those Death Doggo fucks so he could fix my Loony."

"Be mindful of how you phrase things about my mate." Naruto growled, his eyes narrowed. Blitzø narrowed his own in turn. Their stare off was interrupted as the masked heterochromatic pup cleared his throat. The Duke of Gluttony huffed and broke the stare off to look at him, whereas Blitzø blatantly flipped the pseudo-Sin off.

"Admittedly," the pup drawled as he tucked his paws into his pockets. "This is not how I expected this meeting to start. We still have to wait for Alpha–"

A spine-tingling whistle shot up the backs of every demon within a hundred mile radius. The masked pup's ears went flat.

"Oh, crapbaskets."

The door to Blitzø's office swung open in the wrong direction before it broke off the hinges and slammed into the closed office door that led to the building's hallway. The black hooded, red-eyed form of Death strode into the room, and a subsonic growl permeated the air. In either of his hands were curved sickles, a farmer's tool to harvest grain, and they were coated in blood.

"..Talk about having a flair for the dramatic.." Naruto muttered. Red eyes turned to him for a brief moment before they returned to the pup. Death flicked his sickles, splattering what smelled like Sinner blood on either wall of Blitzø's office, before they folded up and were holstered on his hips like guns.

Naruto wasn't going to lie, he thought it looked pretty fucking badass.

"Shi." The cold growl was accompanied by the telltale sign of demonic fury with the flare of his bright red eyes. It was, Naruto noted, a brighter flare and darker hue than Loona was capable of. The Alpha of the Coin-Shithe took a step into the room. "We were explicitly told not to interfere."

"I thought we weren't allowed to take the Hellhound?" Despite the innocence in his words, the pup, Shi – that name set off a bell in the back of Naruto's head; the puppy in general did, actually, something about his mannerisms seemed familiar – didn't look even the slightest bit apologetic. He tilted his head and blinked. "King Lucifer didn't say anything about helping the Hellhound inflicted with Death Chill."

"Death Chill?!" Naruto and Blitzø parroted, the former growling while the latter frowned.

"What the fuck is Death Chill–?"

"It is the stage in which a Hellhound of the Cù-Sìth lineage awakens their latent power." The Alpha growled. His gaze switched to Loona and Naruto felt his coat bristle. The Pseudo-Sin tensed and bared his teeth as the Embodiment of Death strode forward. "It is often avoided by starting lessons young, and tempering the tundra that resides within us. Definitely before we even fathom touching Daemonic Magicks. This wayward pup–"

"Watch it." Naruto narrowed his eyes as The Alpha got too close. The Alpha narrowed his own in turn and a scowl spread across his face.

"Jinchuriki."

"..You wanna tell me how you know that word?" Naruto asked, fangs bared as his own eyeshine flared up.

"I am old, chico." The Alpha growled. "Older than Hell itself. Te destruiré, do not test me."

"Then step away from my mate." Naruto growled in turn.

The Alpha's growl stopped on a dime and he took a whiff of the air. His eyes closed and he growled again as his hand went up to pinch the space between his brows. A language Naruto had never heard before tumbled out of The Alpha's mouth in a furious growl before he dropped his head, sighed and dropped his hand back to his side.

"How long?"

"Better not be fucking long." Blitzø grumbled. Naruto dropped his own growl as he looked down at his poor Loon. His hand stroked the top of her head and he smiled slightly when she leaned into his palm.

"A few months ago, we, uh, realized that we had performed the right rituals." He admitted. He chuckled morosely. "Then, I went into a coma for a month and–"

"Cheated on my Loony and had a fuckin' puppy with some other bitch!" Blitzø spat. Naruto glared at him.

"That wasn't what happened, asshole!"

"You're a filthy fuzzy fuckin liar who lies!"

—–––—

As Bee-Lzebub's sibling started to argue with the Imp, Lobo felt his patience reach its limit. One of the Pack's children – children – he hadn't known about was causing Hell to freeze over. It'd be funnier if it weren't one of the situational balances he was tasked to keep in check, but it was, so he was forced to endure.

He would not endure the squabbling caused by the stupidity of Lucifer. He had other things he had to do, after all.

"Enough!" Lobo snarled, stomping his foot and spreading a coat of frost along the ground. The Imp was silenced as he lost his balance and fell, whereas Bee-Lzebub's sibling, The Jinchuriki, flared his own power to melt the light frost. Once more the latter glared and growled at him.

Likely on account of the occupant of his lap. Specifically, the Hellhound's – His daughter's – whine.

Lobo grimaced and rubbed his face once more. A tolerance for the cold was the first thing Hounds of Death built up when they joined the pack as pups. It was no wonder her magic was lashing out in the manner that it did; aside from being the one boon Death Hounds had over Hellhounds (and Hellborn of any tier in general), magical cores were essentially designed to protect the wielder.

This storm was likely a result of the Hellborn's unnatural core reacting to the natural one that had until this point been inert within her.

"Chico, I do not fucking care how you managed to revive The Biju, nor whether you are loyal to your mate or not. This is Hell, and the standards are not high." Lobo deadpanned. He dragged his hand from his face and glared at the scowling...whatever sort of demon the Jinchuriki was. "The Hellhound is a Deathhound without any discipline. She must come with The Pack–"

A click sounded along with the Jinchuriki's deeper growl. The Imp aimed a pistol, a pistol, at Lobo's head and The Jinchuriki flared his demonic power until he and the Hound in his lap were surrounded by a ball of golden fire.

"Let's get one thing fucking straight, assmunch!" The Imp sneered. "I might hate that fucker's guts and want his shriveled nutsack on a silver platter, but were agreed on this fuckin much: you are not fucking taking my daughter anywhere."

"Couldn't have said it better myself, Blitzø." The Jinchuriki rumbled. "You want to take my Loona from me?"

His eyes narrowed before a massive plume of smoke filled the room. Lobo let out a small snarl as he flared out his power and scattered the smoke. It was cleared just to reveal a lot of silver sharp instruments held by several hands aimed at various points of his body. Each hand aimed at him belonged to one of the dozens of dopplegängers of the Jinchuriki that now filled the small room. All of them had their teeth bared and blue eyeshine on full blast.

"Fucking try it." The original, still seated on the couch, growled with a small chitter afterwards.

Ah. Yes. There's the influence of Bee-Lzebub on his rebirth.

Lobo bared his teeth in turn before a soft whimper caught his ear. It wasn't of the cradled hound, but from Shi. The very stoic pup had a very rich history with the Jinchuriki from what Lobo understood. Before, he was the Jinchuriki's superior, his mentor and teacher.

Now, he was a Death Hound Puppy, powerful and swift yes, but not enough.

Lobo on the other hand…

"Do you even know what you are doing, Chico? Do you know who I am? Do you understand what consequences of threatening me you will suffer?" Lobo asked with a snarl. The Jinchuriki and his clones curled their lips while the Imp scoffed. Lobo bared his teeth. "It is not a philosophical ideology I've adopted. It's not a metaphoric interpretation of my life. It's not even a reputation I deluded myself into believing!"

"Oh, yeah, then who the fuck are you, furry bait?!" The Imp snapped. Lobo glanced at him and pulled his hood down. The mere act of that dispelled the fragile duplicates The Jinchuriki conjured into being.

"I am Death." He growled and pointed a claw at the Imp. "I don't mean it metaphorically, or rhetorically, or poetically or theoretically or any other fancy way mortals might put it. I am Death. Straight up."

"…Yeah, okay, I'll take that bet." The Imp smirked and pulled his trigger. Lobo let the bullet fly into his skull. It spun in place until the momentum died and he plucked it between his claws. He glanced at the Imp.

"And just what was that supposed to prove?"

"…I..That I could shoot you?"

"You cannot kill what isn't a life. A fact cannot be killed. Death is inevitable. It is the only truth in life."

"Well, there are fuckin' taxes." The Imp snorted. "But who the fuck pays those?"

"…Satan must be so proud of his toads." Lobo sneered. He shook his head and crossed his arms. "I didn't come here to pick a fight. I came here to help a wayward member of my Pack."

"To steal her!"

"To help! Ungrateful little–Your demise just got accelerated!"

—–––—

AN: Yay! Lobo said the thing! Next time, Loona Wakes Up! For reelzies. Honest…Fuck there's so much crap in my office…

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