XaiJu
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Afterparty Script - WIP LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK

Hey!

Scripts are usually reserved for Orion's Belt, but this one is a little different.

I'm looking for feedback on this !!!

I've spent a ton of time working on this and it's still a WIP and basically I just want to gauge interest in this kind of style before I keep going and going on it not knowing if my audience is into this sort of thing.

The basic concept of this is - two friends, the listener has a crush on the speaker and somehow the speaker knows. He's trying to play around with it a little and find out more, including her fantasies about him. He's sort of shocked to find out that all her fantasies are about domming him and that awakens something in him.

I was HEAVILY inspired by the goat August on reddit and I really really appreciated his natural dialogue and delivery so much that I've spent way to long writing and rewriting every single one of these lines to try to get it to flow nicely and sound like something a person would actually say and correctly imply the listener's lines.

SO - please let me know what you think! So far, it's just the build up. It's lots of tension, and a bit of angst in the beginning, both characters aren't saying what they really want, but from what I've written so far it's just about to transition into the touching and kissing and sexing part.

Comments

Starts a bit clunky but once it actually gets to the kink talk it's very good, excited to see how you finish (in more ways then one)

Gracile

second to last line will in fact be going platinum

caro

this is too cute omg your friends to lovers stuff is always sooooooo πŸ₯Ή

caro


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