INTEMPERANCE IX - Chapter 8, Caught in a Landslide
Added 2025-04-23 08:10:15 +0000 UTCMy muse continues to be musical and I'm just going with it. Here's the next chapter. Barb Macready makes her big league debut and Greg's new love interest comes for a meet and greet. As always, let me know how I'm doing. Help me shape the final novel of the main series.
Comments
You are on fire, Al. A great read, Caydee's interaction with Greg or her reaction to him when talking to Jake about the Greg-driven over acting is funny.
Azri Ahmad
2025-04-26 00:13:39 +0000 UTCanother very enjoyable chapter... you know? .... you have a future doing this!
Russ Wideman
2025-04-25 16:22:47 +0000 UTCTypo: Open quote missing — Straight from the bowels of the LAPD,” Jake said...
wulf losee
2025-04-25 01:54:21 +0000 UTCI really liked the last three lines. The preceding paragraph set the mood for a very evocative ending to the chapter.
Larry Martel
2025-04-24 05:54:06 +0000 UTCIt was very enjoyable to write Barb's dialogue.
Al Steiner
2025-04-24 03:21:10 +0000 UTCMe either.
Al Steiner
2025-04-24 03:20:49 +0000 UTCThank you.
Al Steiner
2025-04-24 03:20:36 +0000 UTCIf anyone had told me, back when the band was doing 3x4s and snorting coke from ass cracks; that it would evolve into a sweet story about a crow and a little girl – I wouldn't have believed them. Bravo.
Dan Schlangen
2025-04-24 01:09:20 +0000 UTCCan't wait for the Barb Macready meets Matt Tisdale scene.
RLDel
2025-04-24 01:08:58 +0000 UTCFixed in edit. Thanks.
Al Steiner
2025-04-23 21:46:42 +0000 UTCGood tone is what I meant to say. And Matt and Barb will have to meet at some point. I am sure that after listening to Matt speak for a few minutes Barb will conclude that he's such a nice young man.
Al Steiner
2025-04-23 21:45:16 +0000 UTCI haven't really thought about it. There is a photo in existence of her playing an electric guitar and performing War Pigs in high school, so... certainly before then.
Al Steiner
2025-04-23 21:43:33 +0000 UTCI write the chorus lyrics on my coffee notes at work sometimes. Good tune.
Al Steiner
2025-04-23 21:42:24 +0000 UTCYep. Fixed in edit. Thanks.
Al Steiner
2025-04-23 21:41:35 +0000 UTCThe best introductory scene I’ve read in a very long time. I snorted my morning coffee, laughing til I cried tears landing in same said coffee. Reminded me of my Marine Corps days. Must have been great fun writing it.
Garmeister
2025-04-23 19:34:30 +0000 UTCGood chapter, well written (the Jake/Greg attribution aside) Thanks for classic Barb, joining, Matt and Valdez’s in the solid foundation of creative swearing. And then you threw in gratis Barb’s tone switch of Jake to Caydee then back to Jake - a delicious bipolar schizophrenic multimodal personality shift all in one. She’s a scary one - Ms Macready.
Rob Law
2025-04-23 18:10:28 +0000 UTCexcellent as always. "emerging them in their roles" - I think it should be immersing?
Eric Lundquist
2025-04-23 18:02:54 +0000 UTCBack in the 80s I was driving from Ann Arbor to Pontiac via back roads (for "reasons") and the Blind Faith album was stuck in the cassette player. Can't Find My Way home came on the third time I realized that I truly was lost. Thanks for the great chapter.
Rich Collins
2025-04-23 18:02:03 +0000 UTCWith the "Unplugged" mention, I assume Jake and Celia have opinions on when the right time is to introduce Caydee to electric guitar. Will we learn what those are anytime soon?
William Cleveland
2025-04-23 17:57:26 +0000 UTC“Thank you, Ms. Macready,” Caydee see. Caydee said “Jake smiled just slightly. Okay. Good tone.” One? Hopefully Matt will meet Barb in the near future. Barb’s dialogue so far is gold. Almost up there with a couple of favorites, Caydee and Matt. Thank you for another chapter of audible chuckles from me reading the antics of various characters.
SteveZ
2025-04-23 17:15:02 +0000 UTCUncle John's Band! Good one. And the lyrics fit well in this case. Caydee should add that to the evening line up.
wayne seitz
2025-04-23 16:41:10 +0000 UTCBeautiful work! Your muse is killing it right now.
Jason C Freedman
2025-04-23 16:27:51 +0000 UTCGood chapter! Thanks much. "She looked in that direction and saw Laura, Celia, and Greg sitting around the deck table" Should be He or, even better, Jake.
wayne seitz
2025-04-23 16:19:39 +0000 UTCMaybe. I'll look into it and adjust if necessary.
Al Steiner
2025-04-23 14:23:38 +0000 UTCDidn't the big Mindy conversation with Greg and Celia happen in El Paso, not San Antonio?
Andrew
2025-04-23 14:10:17 +0000 UTCYes. Will fix in the edit. Thanks.
Al Steiner
2025-04-23 14:03:12 +0000 UTC“What?” Jake asked. “But my plans include you, prominently, Cadence. You simply must be involved.” Shouldn't this be Greg?
RLDel
2025-04-23 12:12:47 +0000 UTCAnother excellent episode, all the characters on full blast... Caydee has announced herself as unplugged (another series) , business is progressing (another series), Greg will maybe screw up and the girlfriend sounds like she has a nice fit-in personality with the Kingsleys (another series). We could be here for a while. Well done
AJN
2025-04-23 11:59:30 +0000 UTCI really like Caydee playing to the crows. "Its the same story the crow told me. Its the only one he knows ... Come hear Aunt Caydee's band by the ocean side ... "
O Owensby
2025-04-23 11:23:10 +0000 UTCI just hope she gets some tracks out before autotune takes over.
O Owensby
2025-04-23 11:18:59 +0000 UTCJust noticed Al did say Main Series - so perhaps there will be more!
David Stewart
2025-04-23 11:01:07 +0000 UTCI agree LDT - I can see into the future and believe that there can be a Cadence Kingsley CD and Live performance when she hits high school and maybe replace Taylor Swift in our current ERA!- Brilliant writing Al
David Stewart
2025-04-23 10:59:30 +0000 UTCThe FINAL novel of the main series!? NOOOooooooOOOOO! I was counting on at least a couple more books before Matt's heart exploded on stage! Kim has to get surprise-knocked up, and changes her mind about her abortion. We need to see Caydee's first gig at school through Jake's eyes. Sigh.
Lawrence David Thompson
2025-04-23 10:08:53 +0000 UTC
