INTEMPERANCE VII - Chapter 17, Shitshow
Added 2023-09-19 02:26:58 +0000 UTCAnd here is the new chapter. I have probably done more research on this chapter than any other that I have ever composed. I have done my best to keep the timeline accurate and any mistakes I might have had, I apologize for in advance as this chapter portrays one of the most significant events n American history, one that I personally lived through. Just to throw it out here, I present the story of 9-11 as it is presented in history. I will absolutely NOT engage in any discussion about conspiracy theories about the events, so please don't bother sending them to me.
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JC
2023-10-24 10:54:59 +0000 UTCI read 16 & 17 together, so I'm commenting on both at the same time. First, you did a masterful job of building the suspense in these two. And i had to chuckle a little at 'Its not like the world is going to change'. That's some premium hindsight black humor. I enjoyed the back-and-forth between Matt, Nerdly & Jake; it showed some growth - and earned respect - from both Matt & Jake. I'll admit, i wondered if we were going to lose Jake on 9/11. I frequently bitch about cliffhangers, but this was well done. It also evoked more vivid memories of that day & the surrounding shifts than i really wanted ...thanks, I think. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes, dude. Thank you for the good stuff!
Adam Driscoll
2023-09-24 05:03:40 +0000 UTCI remember I was entering the parking lot at my company when I heard on the radio that an airplane had hit one of the Twin Towers, and I immediately thought of World War II, when a B-25 hit the Empire State Building. Of course, that was ages ago, and planes nowadays had all sorts of navigational stuff, so it had to be something like a Piper Cub. It was only a few minutes later that I heard about the second airliner, and I realized the world had changed for the rest of our lives. Later I thought that it must have been much like when my parents learned about the attack on Pearl Harbor, and my father ended up serving in the Navy.
Lawson
2023-09-21 15:21:46 +0000 UTCI always check the date at the beginning of the chapter to remind myself of the story timeline. In chapter 16 I didn’t quite keep the date in mind as the story wove between macro and micro time. Then surprise, the oh shit pucker factor came up as I realized the story came to the crucial cliff hanger of 9/11. In chapter 17 I was very concerned as to where the story would go and was genuinely pleased at how well the story wove in both the unknown from the family and friends perspective, and the known of the quartet as they experienced being on the aircraft and not knowing what was happening. We all have a story about 9/11 and this one proved true to what a lot of us experienced. I’m still waiting on where the whole divorce - marry - divorce - marry story line goes. I’m reminded of the MIchael Loucks story, A Well Lived Life. I think the intricacies of a blended, multi-partner marriage is far more complex and intriguing than a what if C doesn’t want to give Jake back to Teach approach. Keep up the good work. It’s always a great morning when I wake up to another Intemperance chapter with my morning coffee.
Garmeister
2023-09-20 18:39:10 +0000 UTC
