0096 — Return of Akkolade and Bensington Butters
Added 2024-11-15 18:00:12 +0000 UTCThe workspace/draft version of this strip posts at noon in Tiers 2 & 3!
There are two main things I noticed about this particular strip.
One is that no one mentions the graphic design Ray displays for his "The Echelons" concept. This has to infuriate Ray, as it clearly is the product of a specific vision, and likely represents a considerable financial investment. Did Téodor make it? I think Ray probably went over T's head, because he needed it to get done, and I don't think he thinks Téodor's all that talented.
Two is that Bensington Butters, even though he is a scoundrel for being unclear about which definition of "cream pie" has primacy in his world, doesn't seem to know what a "chode" is. Strange, but permissible, as this is also the man who drinks Hunt's ketchup and didn't know who Mickey Mouse was.
A further note on chodes.
In the people of my world, the understanding of this term has been mixed — for nearly all my life. Some say it is a stubby edition of the male organ, while others insist it refers to the perineum. Still others defend the position that it is only spelled "choad," and refers to the measurement around the testicles but excluding the length of the penis itself.
What do YOU believe?
Comments
Yeah, it's just the three dudes. Ray originally wanted to call it The Quorum, but Akkolade insisted that was a buffet restaurant at Ceasar's Palace.
Chris Onstad
2024-12-03 16:27:08 +0000 UTCI am extremely delighted at the fact that Ray and I are as usual on the same wavelength - the outside of time character in my comics is named "Echelon", which I came up with in high school twenty years ago. At this same time and in this same place, there was only scorn and mockery if you attempted to ascertain what a "choad" was. (No one knew.)
Professor Hazard
2024-11-21 22:23:51 +0000 UTCAll the more so in that it implies they had a costume party for the same three dudes total: https://achewood.com/2006/09/22/title.html
Minivet
2024-11-19 20:03:38 +0000 UTCI always assumed The Syndicate was way more than just these three dudes, but on reflection it's way funnier that it's not.
Lynsey McCoskey
2024-11-18 21:45:39 +0000 UTCHe will never be denied the opportunity to hold a mic. If he worked the window at Starbucks, he'd be using a hand-held.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-18 16:41:18 +0000 UTCIn truth, I don't think we've plugged the meter on Raybot in a while, or some kind of plumbing has gone cocked, so we regret to inform you that the service is simply Out of Order. But to answer your question, I would guess Ray has told people four to nine different ways to fellate him, or otherwise engage with his off-Broadway bits.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-18 16:40:12 +0000 UTCGoogle Maps has not yet sent their automaton wheeling about in the Achewood Underground, so we do not have conclusive evidence of the hotel's context, but we can fairly assume that any human-world zoning codes have been gently if unintentionally made a mockery of down below by hands even less capable than those of man. That said, Ray may just have been invoking the image out of convenience for his barb.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-18 16:37:06 +0000 UTCA chode is 420% the stubby male organ
Nicole Lyden
2024-11-17 15:33:09 +0000 UTCDisney has been holding artists back coward style, Owl House got truncated and Moon girl lost an episode... I wonder if Bensington is right, maybe Hanna Barbara really is better than disney. Maybe he learned what a real cream pie is from watching obscure hanna barbara pilots in the 70s that got sold to adult swim for stock footage. But Hypermogul is a pretty bad adderall summer sounding name so he can sniff my nifkin.
Ruxine
2024-11-17 07:19:01 +0000 UTCIf you scroll down in the comments here there's a lore dump to add to your grimoire re Bensington's fate since we last saw him in 2006.
M. J.
2024-11-17 05:02:39 +0000 UTCI see Bensington is no longer a shirtless Irish jump-dancer. He's only drawn from the waist up, so I can't tell if he kept Lonis Edison's sexually amplified trousers.
Andrew Gillies
2024-11-16 22:01:27 +0000 UTCSo I was wrong on all counts. So what? (Now I see that Raybot was probably just hanging on me out of politeness).
Charlie S
2024-11-16 20:56:19 +0000 UTCEnjoying Ray's use of a microphone in a room of exactly three people
Mike Crotch - Harvey
2024-11-16 20:51:16 +0000 UTCActually that was Beef, warning Pat that if he spoke against Weldon he would enter a world where the only activity that existed was tasting his hog.
Joshua M
2024-11-16 20:09:25 +0000 UTCI remembered Ray once told Pat "You diss my dog, you fluff my hog." Here he tells the Syndicate to "suck my chode 'til you throw a clot." Both perfect for the moment. So I asked Raybot how many different ways Ray has told people to fellate him. As of now it's still processing the question, so I'm guess it's a lot.
Charlie S
2024-11-16 19:10:57 +0000 UTCHomeboy made a deal with the devil and came out unscathed in the long run. Though... he is still alive so maybe in the even longer run that might not hold.
Derek Adams
2024-11-16 18:18:24 +0000 UTCA Best Western with parking meters outside...I guess I can accept that this must happen in denser cities. But it feels like those are two urban features that belong to mutually exclusive zoning categories.
Douglas Wykstra
2024-11-16 09:58:16 +0000 UTCAchewood is a celebration of the English Language.
GruntyGinMan
2024-11-16 02:38:15 +0000 UTCCharity: how are we supposed to deduct this
Chris Onstad
2024-11-16 02:28:02 +0000 UTCWhat I believe is that my helping of chode can be given to a charity of your choice.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-11-16 02:23:18 +0000 UTCGirth Queens
Chris Onstad
2024-11-16 01:27:05 +0000 UTCClearly Ray put some thought into this, but like many creative endeavors, when you overthink it, you kill it. A syndicate rebrand could be as simple as a very serious but subdued change in font and some ridiculous rule about members of the syndicate never referring to the syndicate by name or in the present tense. Strangely enough, the only time I encountered the term chode was in high school. I knew someone who bragged that his "massive chode" was all the rage among the people (presumably girls) in his friend group. At the time I understood he was referring to his own penis, but the word seemed like such an extremely gross way to describe your dick (and remember this was high school) that I could not understand why he would say it.
C C
2024-11-16 01:23:20 +0000 UTCBTW Hōgie is pronounced "Hog-E." As in, the hog.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-16 01:22:51 +0000 UTCI like to think a chode is a French roll filled with about an inch thick of raw tomato slices. No dressing or other things. Popular on messy days.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-16 01:20:05 +0000 UTCAny sub sandwich? Or one containing, a, uh, you know -- a big fat chode?
C C
2024-11-16 00:46:27 +0000 UTCGreat question. For sure he weaseled his way in to the ballroom to on the great aunts while leering like a creep at the drunk bridesmaid who is showing too much cleavage on the dance floor. Akkolade can be a real dick.
C C
2024-11-16 00:42:04 +0000 UTCI am not sure Ray is so high wattage -- he's a lot of flash, but what has he followed through on to great success?
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 23:57:54 +0000 UTCLearning how to conceptualize and execute Akkolade's lower lip, especially from multiple angles, was most of the work on this strip
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 23:56:26 +0000 UTCAkkolade leaves. The way home is past the mall with the out of business Macy's, and he likes to drive real slow past it, remembering the good times. The good sales.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 23:55:23 +0000 UTC"America Shames Her Children's Chodes!" — a fiery publican, on a tear
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 23:54:30 +0000 UTCDamn those are some deep cuts. Pete's review of Mr. Wing's Taco may have just turned twenty.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 23:53:03 +0000 UTCThis is good evidence that Téodor did it because only he could fuck up this assignment so far in that direction
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 23:52:18 +0000 UTCJesus wept (also me, I did also)
“Cool Mayonnaise” Hank Spurlock
2024-11-15 23:49:50 +0000 UTCI know those are probably battleships or something but god damn do they look like three beautifully shady trees on a nicely manicured stretch of lawn
Sedric And Charlie
2024-11-15 22:44:34 +0000 UTCGonna be honest Ray's suggestion complete with graphic design sounds like a retirement village
Sedric And Charlie
2024-11-15 22:43:24 +0000 UTCMore like "perineal" question amirite
Miles McMahon
2024-11-15 22:27:03 +0000 UTCUnbelievably perfect panel
Ben Wilinofsky
2024-11-15 22:19:36 +0000 UTCI'm so happy to see this! I loved how upset Ray got when Akkolade took out an ad in MWYEGTDAaT. This is right up there with Pat's skitter- cart and Nice Pete's review of Chinese Restaurants. Those zines are pure gold. We need some of the Dict too!
J Hardy Carroll
2024-11-15 22:19:01 +0000 UTCI mean Ray is pretty high wattage entrepreneur but he cheated with the Smuckles curse
GruntyGinMan
2024-11-15 21:59:33 +0000 UTCHe's really tired of this shit
GruntyGinMan
2024-11-15 21:58:38 +0000 UTCOne time in middle school, someone learned the word chode and then kids just started interjecting it in the middle of class. Everyone of course started cracking up as the teacher had no idea what it meant. This went on for days(?) until finally the teacher got fed up and made the student explain what it was. Which of course resulted in Tears and Shame for the Whole Class.
Dan Diephouse
2024-11-15 21:35:48 +0000 UTCDoes Akkolade leave the Best Western after this or does he just pop over to the ballroom to mack on great aunts at a wedding reception
Joshua M
2024-11-15 21:23:07 +0000 UTCAh, the Hot Pot People
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 21:01:53 +0000 UTCI like how Akkolade specifically took his hands apart when Ray said "Put your hands together", because he has his hands together in every other panel.
Bungus Bronbo
2024-11-15 20:50:50 +0000 UTCYorkshire??? Never heard of it. I’m from Lancashire.
Pubdoggy
2024-11-15 20:47:30 +0000 UTCProbably just the clerk at the Best Western.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:33:55 +0000 UTCI will not illustrate Bensington Butters doing a cream pie with a cream pie, if that's what you're saying, here.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:33:02 +0000 UTCMaybe the happiest day of his life, excepting the annual ScoobyCon.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:31:56 +0000 UTCMan, does anybody outside the Syndicate even know about the Syndicate?
RocketMermaid
2024-11-15 20:31:16 +0000 UTCoh my god
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:30:02 +0000 UTCI like it, it's good.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:29:52 +0000 UTC"Britain" sounds more like there will be tasty beef slices in brown sauce, so I'm staying my ground. (There is also something called "Yorkshire pudding" but it's just a pancake fried in cow fat.)
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:27:33 +0000 UTCLike all low-wattage entrepreneurs, they believe some profitable gestalt will result from their gathering, so they do this thing. It doesn't seem to be going well, though, as this time they don't even have a salami plate, let alone beverages. Not even water cups.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:25:38 +0000 UTCThe only woman who ever changed Bensington was his mama, and that was just his Huggies.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:24:06 +0000 UTCThat quoted passage is wonderfully unpleasant visual to consider over the second cup of coffee! Well done. Intense!
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:23:15 +0000 UTCI challenge the invocation of "Utah" for this intertriginous curiosity, and suggest that "Gresham, Oregon" be used in its stead. It may be a tad long, but it is sublime in its accuracy.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:21:33 +0000 UTCThoughts: In my particular circle of middle school friends a chode was synonym for taint, but I was corrected widely as I traveled later in life. One of these middle school hooligans did call a short, fat wiener (i.e. your standard chode requirements) a “tri-nut” as it may resemble a third, vestigial testicle. I am sorry to provide you with this information.
“Cool Mayonnaise” Hank Spurlock
2024-11-15 20:20:38 +0000 UTCwhere i live chode refers to a sub sandwich
Datura
2024-11-15 20:19:58 +0000 UTCOh dear, there is a plural ("chodas") but I dearly hope it has been rarely if never invoked.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:18:26 +0000 UTCThey are all floating twenty feet above the fingertips of the tallest man until February, at which point they will gently alight next to anything orange. Enjoy this information.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 20:16:02 +0000 UTCThis may be the most dialogue we've ever had from Akkolade - whom I've always assumed was a Barry White-style baritone, but is apparently the opposite of that. This rebrand also has raised the perennial question, what does the Syndicate actually do? Are they just a bunch of competing record label owners? Do they form a cartel to determine what's going to be a hit and what's not? Are they the world's most prima-donna big-money rap group? Or are they just a bunch of rich guys who like to argue in Best Western meeting rooms?
2scrogz
2024-11-15 19:23:11 +0000 UTCI sense an upcoming strip in which the punchline panel is Bensington caught in a compromising position
Ian Stewart
2024-11-15 19:23:06 +0000 UTCYou'd think time spent in an invisible caboose with post-menopausal real estate agents would change a man, but I guess not always.
Steamed_Grahams
2024-11-15 19:21:48 +0000 UTCand another thing the old timey etymology style first use of chode was in reference to the mass of dirt, vaginal discharge, dried menstrual blood, and I can only assume leaves, twigs, and the occasional live rodent at that point that would accumulate under the skirts of medieval women back in the days when maintaining a good stink was considered healthy for keeping evil spirits away the passage was something like "you could hear the chodes dropping off as the women knelt in prayer" or something so micropeen is a step up honestly, you chode
Zen Window
2024-11-15 19:11:56 +0000 UTCchode noun a. penis wider than it is long b. person not worthy of spending time with (see dork, knob, toaster, toaster oven, air fryer, convection oven, etc.) choad noun a. no clue but see definition b. of chode for those who insist on this spelling honestly with all the fragrant euphemisms for perineum out there it boggles my mind that someone would insist that a completely different anatomic association that already exists should be overloaded taint, bonch, grundle, punch buggy, crinkle cut, utah im just saying there are existing options to consider before you start calling a city bus a bicycle and expect people to understand what youre trying to say
Zen Window
2024-11-15 19:06:29 +0000 UTCI was first exposed to it in underground comics, especially S. Clay Wilson, where "choad" seemed to be standard. The even older form is "choda," borrowed from the Sanskrit चोदति (codati) via the Hindi चोदा (codā). https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/choda, but it has such as footnotes and other scholarly apparatus.
blair
2024-11-15 19:05:52 +0000 UTCI gotta get me one of those Mexican magical realism cameras that were all the rage back in '06.
Fartlord90210
2024-11-15 19:04:41 +0000 UTCIt’s like calling the perineum ‘Pippins Bridge’. It’s almost the same but one is way more classy.
Pubdoggy
2024-11-15 19:02:46 +0000 UTCSo best of all outcomes for Butters, then, given the severity of his dark hour
Matt Mitchell
2024-11-15 18:48:34 +0000 UTCWe content creators are really running out of ideas
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:48:19 +0000 UTCEducate us on the difference! Is it like calling North America the USA?
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:47:46 +0000 UTCOh. Bit awkward. It’s England, not Britain. ‘Fraid you’re cursed for a bit x
Pubdoggy
2024-11-15 18:45:26 +0000 UTC“sound off in the comments re: your platonic idea of a chode” is one of the more uncommon engagement hooks but I’m here for it.
s b
2024-11-15 18:42:02 +0000 UTCBut only in the industrial northeast corridor. Otherwise it's called Suùb.
Josh Egbert
2024-11-15 18:40:02 +0000 UTCHōgie would be a great competitor to Grindr
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:38:26 +0000 UTCBig crossover potential with powerlifters
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:36:37 +0000 UTCOf course Britain has paperwork for those attempting to expand Arthurian legend.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:36:09 +0000 UTCI enjoy learning new things & today I've learned that chode has the same sort of regional misunderstandings as, say, being in a part of the country where they call a "hoagie" a "grinder". You're talking about the same thing but have revealed yourself to be a Different.
Josh Egbert
2024-11-15 18:35:52 +0000 UTC#TeamStubbyChubby
@misterjayem
2024-11-15 18:35:34 +0000 UTCLonis's magic wore off on the long rail journey back from Mexico to Achewood. He no longer has that ability. And yeah, he forgot the date of his death, which really bugged him for a while, but then he forgot that he forgot it, and has been fairly much the same ever since.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:34:39 +0000 UTCEw
Matt Mitchell
2024-11-15 18:31:34 +0000 UTCIs it meant to be implicit that Butters still is a master Irish dancer? Or did that wear off? At least is he still unaware of the date of his death?
Matt Mitchell
2024-11-15 18:30:45 +0000 UTCYes exactly. I’ll send you the NDA.
Pubdoggy
2024-11-15 18:30:45 +0000 UTCThis would make for an awesome time travel comedy, where there is a mixup and a sheepish modern guy with a chode (I imagine his name is Barry and he comes from Hartford, Connecticut) becomes the successor to King Arthur.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:29:11 +0000 UTCThank you Chris. I leave the "three ways" up to the reader, but one of them is definitely the pathetic rhyme of soprano/baño. (That's "ban'-yo" for those who do not speak Spanish.)
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:26:49 +0000 UTCMerry Maids regional holiday Young Living essential oils sales crossover presentation
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:25:31 +0000 UTCOn the one hand, the speaker suffers for declaring he has an unpopular genital aspect ratio. On the other, nobody will successfully counter his crafty imperative.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:24:43 +0000 UTCIn England (UK) chode always refers to the (correct) olde English past tense of ‘choose’. As in ‘He is the chode one’
Pubdoggy
2024-11-15 18:24:21 +0000 UTC“That sucked in three ways and it was only two words” is yet another phrase moving from Achewood to the boardroom.
Chris Gumprich
2024-11-15 18:21:59 +0000 UTCAll this infighting is why they'll never be able to overtake whichever competitor snapped up 2A.
Oppido
2024-11-15 18:21:54 +0000 UTCEspecially if he's as hell-bent on cream pies as he is about dissing his colleagues. Who knows what that man will cream pie next.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:21:52 +0000 UTC'Suck my chode! Til you throw a clot!" is gonna get me through Thanksgiving with my family, thank you.
emitydna
2024-11-15 18:21:08 +0000 UTCLanguage is a living document; the chode is a phenomenon *on the move.* May we all challenge definitions which no longer fit the needs of the people, and their genitalia which cry out for accurate descriptors!
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:20:42 +0000 UTCAh, there may be micro-regional differences where diameter is observed instead of circumference. What music of the spheres is this! Also, I have often enjoyed a darker shade of meaning for taint, in that it suggests an ineradicable bouquet. Like how a smoker's finger always stinks a little.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:19:39 +0000 UTCPerhaps for the best... if Bensington stays, they might not get the deposit back on Utility Room 2B
Ian Stewart
2024-11-15 18:16:54 +0000 UTCWe need some sort of electoral-style map, with a Chode Legend at bottom.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:16:03 +0000 UTCI wish I could say they've been busy...but, they haven't. Except for Adderall Summer.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:15:40 +0000 UTCI share your confusion. Urban Dictionary's voters come down on the side of an ill-proportioned phallus. Who are we to disagree? https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Chode
Ryan Boyle
2024-11-15 18:15:31 +0000 UTCHe prepares. He pays attention. But his colleagues are true idiots. I felt like we could all enjoy this scenario.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:15:22 +0000 UTCi have always understood the "chode" to be a male unit as long as it is in circumference; the "gooch" refers to the perineum, also frequently referred to as the "taint" because "'t ain't the balls, but it ain't the ass"
🤘
2024-11-15 18:15:13 +0000 UTCThis is the kind of detail which focus group leaders can never pry out of consumers, but which probably drives a great many unpredictable purchasing decisions. It causes me to wonder if upsetting knowledge of the chode is the reason for the declining popularity of ring-molded ahi appetizers, as well.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:14:53 +0000 UTCOh, no. That Terry Gilliam mandible is definitely in his coat pocket. He's just getting lazy, and it's been slightly damaged from getting soggy.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:12:07 +0000 UTCThank you for the question. Here in the Great Lakes region, “chode” refers to a penis that is girthier than it is longer.
Mike Kowieski
2024-11-15 18:10:21 +0000 UTCThe Brothers in the Syndicate have been deeply missed in this dude's heart and life.
Aaron J. Rushton
2024-11-15 18:09:08 +0000 UTCUsually the presenter's invitation to Witness his chode is kept silent. Not by Ray, though. Not for this crowd.
Chris Onstad
2024-11-15 18:08:41 +0000 UTCRay knocked it out of the park, but there's no helping some people.
Omnithea
2024-11-15 18:08:23 +0000 UTCI have always considered a "chode" to be a penis that is comically thick and short. In my early years, I was told to picture the dimensions of a chode as aligning with that of a tuna can. The image was intended to be funny, but disturbed me deeply. I now by tuna in packet-form, only.
John Krane
2024-11-15 18:07:58 +0000 UTCAkkolade finally gave up the mouth-on-a-stick bit, I see.
Stygian Gloom
2024-11-15 18:07:37 +0000 UTCThis is every presentation to a client ever
Jenn
2024-11-15 18:05:42 +0000 UTC
