0085 — Honeymoon Shorties #2/6
Added 2024-09-25 17:00:04 +0000 UTCFor the next two weeks, while we're away on our honeymoon, I'm running three new strips a week, M-W-F. These are ultra-classic, single-row Achewood strips like you saw in 2001.
I'm posting three a week instead of the usual one-on-Friday because, frankly, posting short strips makes me feel insecure about providing enough value for you, even though I love how this set of six captures the old absurdist flavor of original Achewood. It's me, not you.
Why am I doing short strips at all? Because they show an essential element of the Achewood approach, and it's also becoming a pleasant custom for me to do these during my vacations. They make use of the scratch-and-dent part of my writing file — weird little ideas that can't carry a long-form strip.
Please enjoy the change-up, and when I return, you will probably see a comic about what it's like to honeymoon in Italy during a transportation strike. (Hint: Ray will sit in one restaurant in Minori and eat Pasta alla Garlic Butter until his systolic becomes a hum, like the electric pump of an aquarium).
Comments
Seconded!
Jacquelyn R Walters
2024-10-07 22:02:18 +0000 UTCInevitably having a humor scientist in the comments with a mass spectrometer and gaussmeter explaining that the current Achewood trespasses into a moral singularity or is only 87% as funny as last week reminds me why comments sections have disappeared across the internet
KTB
2024-10-05 12:49:04 +0000 UTCHerpes will never be played out in Lyle's life. That's kind of how it works.
K. Unknown
2024-10-02 18:06:48 +0000 UTCHearty laugh earned.
M. J.
2024-09-29 18:01:30 +0000 UTCoh dang that is crazy, guess there are more unsung herpes out there than I thought
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-09-27 18:02:17 +0000 UTCI had a relative who was a pretty serious wrestler in high school, and to prevent ringworm or impetigo (both fairly common in the sport no matter how thoroughly you clean the mats, both requiring a 2-week break that can force you to miss important matches), he was showering 2-3 times a day with antibacterial soap in place of body wash. Unfortunately, he did have to miss a few matches, as he got this horrible rash spreading from his face down his chest and shoulder. It wasn't either of the bacterial fungi he'd been guarding against, and theories ranged from a severe allergic reaction to a staph infection...until they did a large test panel and he came back positive for HSV-1. Apparently, in trying to guard against bacterial infections, his obsessive showering routine had broken down his dermis's immune system so thoroughly that it was uniquely susceptible to a cold-sore outbreak, and rather than staying around the mouth as the virus usually does, it got to throw an absolute herpes rager across his entire upper torso. Anyway my phone keeps trying to autocorrect "herpes" to "heroes," and I think there's a lot we could learn from that.
Douglas Wykstra
2024-09-27 17:39:14 +0000 UTCNeat. I like accurate details.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-09-27 16:55:40 +0000 UTCHumans got it before we were humans, so to speak: "Researchers at the University of California, San Diego School of Medicine have identified the evolutionary origins of human herpes simplex virus (HSV) -1 and -2, reporting that the former infected hominids before their evolutionary split from chimpanzees 6 million years ago while the latter jumped from ancient chimpanzees to ancestors of modern humans — Homo erectus — approximately 1.6 million years ago." https://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/news/herpes-infected-humans-they-were-human
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-09-27 16:28:14 +0000 UTCI vote for Epstein-Barr Virus...of the dick.
Chet McMasterson
2024-09-27 12:38:51 +0000 UTCAchewood is one of the few that consistently lets the audience have the pleasure of finding jokes that haven't been spelled out in numbing detail.
Chet McMasterson
2024-09-27 12:36:40 +0000 UTCYeah, man, what gives?
Guilherme Töws
2024-09-26 09:41:43 +0000 UTCI dunno, I feel like herpes jokes are kind of played out in 2024. Though if this is a 2001-style comic, maybe they were less so in that year.
Oppido
2024-09-26 00:54:10 +0000 UTCPasta ala herpes was what an old girlfriend of mine used to make back in the eighties
C C
2024-09-25 22:15:48 +0000 UTCI believe both HSV1 and HSV2 originated in chimps. Who was making out with blistery chimps back in the day?
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-09-25 21:01:02 +0000 UTCYup, all of this. Better punchline would have been, say, gonorrhea.
Lennon McAuliffe
2024-09-25 17:40:43 +0000 UTCTo be fair, most sexually active adults have herpes - it's prevalent enough that many standard STD tests don't bother to include it. Somewhere between half and two-thirds of the US population have Herpes Simple Virus 1 (aka HSV-1), the oral variety that can be transmitted by kissing as well as via oral sex. HSV-2 (specific to the genitals) can be transmitted via vaginal, anal or oral sex. Both types can result in cold sores or fever blisters, but you can test positive and never get either. I tested positive for HSV-1 12+ years ago, but I've never had an outbreak - without specifically asking for the test to be done, I'd never have known. Apparently this is not uncommon - since you can get HSV-1 just from kissing, with or without sores and blisters, the actual infection rate is likely far higher.
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-09-25 17:33:29 +0000 UTCRay’s expressionless face, glancing at the hand he was about to high-five with, is a subtle but essential touch.
Brendan J
2024-09-25 17:24:56 +0000 UTCDo you have a special bowl for your man-douche?
Josh Egbert
2024-09-25 17:22:11 +0000 UTCI think I might have to do some Reflection after this.
Aaron J. Rushton
2024-09-25 17:21:12 +0000 UTCHey man don't sleep on that moustache/glasses/personality triple-threat! I myself have been banking on it for _years_...
Anthony Thompson
2024-09-25 17:20:48 +0000 UTCImagine anyone letting Lyle do moisture style touches to themselves....
Josh Egbert
2024-09-25 17:09:35 +0000 UTCFlexing the long dormant brevity muscle
Eric Manschot
2024-09-25 17:06:38 +0000 UTCLiving the dream. Not the herpes, the pasta.
Matthew Harris
2024-09-25 17:05:27 +0000 UTC
