0081 — Ray's Language Center
Added 2024-09-06 17:00:12 +0000 UTC(This strip is not the beginning of a storyline.) (Also, I apologize but the noontime bloopers version of the weekly strip will return next week, please read below.)
Dear Reader,
It is exactly one day until our wedding. I currently have one shoe on, and am about to rush out to clip table and altar flowers from a local nursery. I have to pick up three dozen cheese and onion knackwurst from Gartner's, for the appetizer station. Then a dozen local fruit pies. I have to soak my head in frozen water to give the impression that I have slept. I forgot to eat dinner last night because of a very salty hamburger at lunchtime. We are picking up ten eight-foot tables with an aircraft-carrier-size Dodge Ram pickup truck a friend rented through something called Trulio or whatever. There are parents, friends, staff, and the long-lost sitting on airplanes on tarmacs across the country. I apologize for not having a really great paragraph, or In-Universe / Author's Tier version of the strip this week. These things will all return next week, when I am a married man!
Comments
Ray is 1000% going to write "GAY"
Jon
2024-10-22 12:34:39 +0000 UTCCongratulations on your wedding!
RJ Carmine
2024-10-06 19:37:30 +0000 UTCAnd yet you still churned out a nice full-page cannon event for us! Happy Wedding, Onstad! Congrats sir.
2scrogz
2024-09-14 01:34:35 +0000 UTCRay just looks so jazzed about "Broad-Ray" and it's great. Happy wedding, it was a good weekend to do it, my husband and I hit 12 years on Sunday so you've got some catching up to do.
Julie
2024-09-10 01:07:53 +0000 UTCCongratulations on your nuptials! Huzzah!
Brad Matheson
2024-09-09 16:03:42 +0000 UTCRay-latable.
Tom PM
2024-09-07 17:33:32 +0000 UTCshe's a very nice lady to let you serve cheese and onion knackwurst at the wedding
Datura
2024-09-07 13:14:24 +0000 UTCShakespeareton
Stavro
2024-09-07 09:14:07 +0000 UTCThis is one of my all time favorites.
Henri
2024-09-07 08:26:46 +0000 UTCCongratulations, in a way, Onstad!
Kewkoh
2024-09-07 04:10:50 +0000 UTCthey sent a poet
Lionstooth
2024-09-07 03:54:39 +0000 UTCCongratulations, but dang now I'll never know in which manner Juliet's pop is "hella".
Gryffyd Dempsey
2024-09-07 02:06:19 +0000 UTCCongratulations Dogg. So happy for you
Jenn
2024-09-07 01:58:52 +0000 UTCHe's quoting a strip from long ago!
Jenn
2024-09-07 01:58:29 +0000 UTCCongrats you dawg!
mutecypher
2024-09-07 00:04:11 +0000 UTCThis strip made me laugh very loudly and crazily. Congrats on the wedding, have a great time with your loved ones, and try to get some sleep!
Jacquelyn R Walters
2024-09-06 22:31:49 +0000 UTCHey, he can marry a person of whatever gender or lack thereof he pleases! Congrats, buddy!
Lennon McAuliffe
2024-09-06 21:08:57 +0000 UTCGo get MARRIED to a LADY, you magnificent bastard!
Jason Scott
2024-09-06 20:31:33 +0000 UTCThere ain't nothing in this world so wholesome or warm as that feeling that you gonna be with the one you love forever. A feeling that I hope you never lose. Congrats again, Chris.
Ollin Williams
2024-09-06 20:16:56 +0000 UTCI wish you every happiness available in your marriage, and also several kinds of boutique small-batch happiness only available from the weird little niches of life that we find ourselves stumbling into out if the rain
Ben Wilinofsky
2024-09-06 19:46:48 +0000 UTCFor all the sparkling language and hella cussin' you have provided, we will permit you this week off of Author's Tier duties to get married Seriously though both of you have a beautiful day and a wonderful future, from some internet goof who's been reading your comics for twenty years
Sedric And Charlie
2024-09-06 19:45:33 +0000 UTCwe'll follow up on it in a decade or so and see where Ray's gotten with it, as we did with Penny
Sedric And Charlie
2024-09-06 19:38:35 +0000 UTCTeodor has discovered that he can gas Ray up for his own entertainment
chili sunrise
2024-09-06 19:27:57 +0000 UTCThe salary cap is going up every season, it'll be fine.
Josh Egbert
2024-09-06 19:22:55 +0000 UTCWith these interest rates????
GruntyGinMan
2024-09-06 19:21:35 +0000 UTCCongratulations on the impending nuptials!
Tim Pratt
2024-09-06 19:05:13 +0000 UTCAnd he IS a little rhyme guy, isn't he?
Dan W
2024-09-06 19:02:32 +0000 UTCCongrats!
Dan W
2024-09-06 19:02:01 +0000 UTCCongratulations! “Broad-Ray” is perfect.
Elyse
2024-09-06 18:42:55 +0000 UTCCongratulations!
Lionstooth
2024-09-06 18:30:04 +0000 UTCYo buy me a house while you're up there. I'm sick of here.
Josh Egbert
2024-09-06 18:21:15 +0000 UTCHis menu was choice. He's just an incurable fuckup.
Josh Egbert
2024-09-06 18:20:04 +0000 UTC1. I was going to say "screw you" and call you a butthole, but then I realized I was just pulling a Psychology, so instead, here are some heartfelt well wishes. 2. I suspect Teodor was playing Ray here, probably in a "chronic sexual frustration sublimated into revenge on the whole world" type of way.
Oppido
2024-09-06 18:19:46 +0000 UTCA dude hella jazzed on his ability to marry the ladies
b.zap
2024-09-06 18:16:42 +0000 UTCTHIS DUDE IS MARRIED AF
Stuart Gipp
2024-09-06 18:05:29 +0000 UTCMazel! Get REAL FUCKIN MARRIED
Tyrone Slothrust
2024-09-06 18:02:59 +0000 UTCCongratulations!!!
Hunter Rasmussen
2024-09-06 18:01:46 +0000 UTCI'm going a wedding thing too except it's in Portland Maine not Portland Oregon and also I am here to drink not get married.
GruntyGinMan
2024-09-06 17:55:54 +0000 UTC"Not the beginning of a storyline". I believe you and all, but we've heard that before. Also congratulations on getting MARRIED to a LADY. You just marry the HELL out of that woman.
Matthew Harris
2024-09-06 17:54:55 +0000 UTCLet's take a moment to appreciate the effort that it takes to create an Achewood strip in 2024 where one main character is newly impressed by another main character's ability to twist the English language into unique and memorable contortions-of-phrase.
Don Rowe
2024-09-06 17:53:32 +0000 UTCDAMNIT ONSTAD PUT DOWN THIS SHIT AND GO BE THE GROOM TO END ALL GROOMS.
Rob Dalton
2024-09-06 17:43:40 +0000 UTCCongratulations and Best Wishes! 🥳🥰
Ismini Roller
2024-09-06 17:41:52 +0000 UTCCongratulations!
Kyle Cassidy
2024-09-06 17:40:16 +0000 UTCCongratulations!
Ed C.
2024-09-06 17:38:43 +0000 UTCI've been with my wife for 23 years, oddly enough 23 years ago was when Achewood started. Did Chris alter the trajectory of my life so much that I found my lifelong partner? No. I have a signed print of the 'Everything I draw looks like a dick!' strip in my living room, hidden behind SO many other objects because she hates it. Have a great day tomorrow!
Brian Sutton
2024-09-06 17:38:00 +0000 UTCRegarding the truck: every time I see a shiny clean lift-kit pickup, I think of the I HAVE WEIRD IDEAS ABOUT WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A MAN tailgate. You were ahead of the curve on that one. Have a blast this weekend!
Ryan Boyle
2024-09-06 17:27:54 +0000 UTCCongratulations!
Jeff Holt
2024-09-06 17:24:47 +0000 UTCCongrats in advance!
Cymbaline
2024-09-06 17:23:18 +0000 UTC> This strip is not the beginning of a storyline I am having a lot of trouble accepting this
Nate
2024-09-06 17:22:59 +0000 UTCBe glad Teodor is not doing the catering for your reception. Everyone remember to go pee before the ceremony. And little rhyme guy? The man who wrote Guns and Ships? AHHHH how dare.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-09-06 17:21:26 +0000 UTCWell, as the saying goes, 'about time you made her an honest woman!' Congrats!!!
Walter Cooke
2024-09-06 17:18:30 +0000 UTCMarry the HELL out of that woman
Tim Carmody
2024-09-06 17:18:24 +0000 UTCAlright dogg let's get MARRIED ! Let's get married to a LADY !
Spyguitar
2024-09-06 17:15:33 +0000 UTC“Hella okay.” In Ray’s version, the family feud thing has been cut. Also, instead of poison, Chivas.
Ben Sunshine-Hill
2024-09-06 17:13:13 +0000 UTCCongratulations on the situation, and the strip was also very good in case you didn't hear that enough as well.
Aaron J. Rushton
2024-09-06 17:12:53 +0000 UTCCongratulations!
AbandonedRocketship
2024-09-06 17:12:41 +0000 UTCIs there a Patreon tier we can sub to to come get some appetizers?
Tom P
2024-09-06 17:11:32 +0000 UTCHuge if true!
Anthony Thompson
2024-09-06 17:10:26 +0000 UTCMy favorite thing about getting married is what a complete fucking hassle it is from start to finish
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-09-06 17:08:13 +0000 UTCTime to go marry a lady!
blair
2024-09-06 17:08:07 +0000 UTCLike Ray, you ain't no quitter. Go get married to a lady! Or a gentleman. Or person. Whatever you dig! It's your day!
Josh Egbert
2024-09-06 17:07:49 +0000 UTCThere's no way to know what Romeo's next word of dialogue was going to be
Tim from New Hampshire
2024-09-06 17:07:02 +0000 UTCMy congratulations to both of you, and anyone else who might feel strongly about this occasion. Do well by her, whatever happens. Gartner’s was an excellent choice.
kdusjjdhxksj
2024-09-06 17:06:14 +0000 UTCHappy getting-wedded day!
Amy Lewis
2024-09-06 17:05:32 +0000 UTCCongratulations!
emitydna
2024-09-06 17:05:22 +0000 UTChappy 0th anniversary!!
sp
2024-09-06 17:05:02 +0000 UTCalso happy one day until wedding day!
Kalle Flodin
2024-09-06 17:04:16 +0000 UTCI guesssss you should prioritize a wedding over some shlubs who chuck a few bucks your way each month But at least you had time to brush up against some iambic pentameter in this one
Bungus Bronbo
2024-09-06 17:04:10 +0000 UTCfirst
Kalle Flodin
2024-09-06 17:02:35 +0000 UTC
