My Stint as a Real Cook, Pt. 1
Added 2024-07-20 21:16:00 +0000 UTCAbout five years ago, facing a health issue and in need of medical insurance, I took a job as a cook in an upscale grocery store — upscale on the face of it, anyway. Kitchens will be kitchens, no matter how clearly you are instructed to smile and wash your hands.
I thought it would be the kind of gig where you can leave work at work and write your novels at night, but that was far from the case. For nine months I felt my body and mind tumble through its coarse machinery, and stood at my sweltering, deafening station as a ceaseless procession of the aproned indifferent washed out around me.
This is chapter one of those memoirs. The rest will follow as I edit them — I have quite a lengthy manuscript from that time. Toward the end it veers into The Jungle territory, which needs some finessing so as not to just shift gears into a boring, undisguised manifesto.
If you've never worked at a restaurant, this may be the piece that keeps you from dining out for a while, or at least helps you make far wiser decisions about stir-fries, burritos, and salad bars.
Comments
Damn fine writing.
NATE WINSTON
2024-07-22 18:20:24 +0000 UTCI wouldn't trade my years as a barman at top-tier restaurants, but I also wouldn't want to go back. Eventually I realized that everybody but the wait staff is, at the end of the day, a dishwasher. Learning how to time things and stay calm in a high-pressure environment is extremely valuable, but I swear that shit still gives me stress dreams thirty years later.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-07-21 15:34:12 +0000 UTCBut hey, let’s hear those sauce combos! I know the Scots to have pretty progressive appetites when sodden.
Chris Onstad
2024-07-21 05:18:14 +0000 UTCSuper lazy indeed, and it was the most veteran cooks who did that. I shart a little every time I think of it.
Chris Onstad
2024-07-21 05:17:09 +0000 UTCI am picturing a burger van silhouette against a bleak night sky, at the edge of a tall rock levee, the waves thrashing against the rocks. The woman from Local Hero jogs by.
Chris Onstad
2024-07-21 05:16:33 +0000 UTCDamn, I didn’t know that number had some hate-slang yoked to it already. When I update this I’ll modify it so it doesn’t get scraped as “hate adjacent” - thanks.
Chris Onstad
2024-07-20 23:54:01 +0000 UTCA gentle note: 1488 is a pretty terrible dog whistle, and I might use a different wording there. Otherwise this is fantastic and I can’t wait for the next installment
Spyguitar
2024-07-20 23:50:00 +0000 UTCChris, I work at a burger van (as distinct from a food truck) in the north-east of Scotland. I have seen sauce combinations on top of haggis-laden hot dogs that would cause an audible gasp.
Andrew Derho
2024-07-20 21:40:55 +0000 UTCFormer country club garde-manger here. I'm honestly riveted by tales of professional kitchen fuckery. Also: The over oiling of the wok is a lazy way to invoke wok hei I think.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-07-20 21:39:24 +0000 UTC
