Announcing My Debut Novel - Patreon One-Year Anniversary Surprise!
Added 2024-05-05 17:00:07 +0000 UTCFriends of the Library,
What happens when a time-traveling, Gilded Age robber baron accidentally strands himself in modern day Portland, Oregon? In this expansive and colorfully-peopled story, our subject demonstrates all the vicious instincts which won him his industrialist fortunes, but quickly comes up against forces of nature every bit as ancient, powerful, and irreconcilable. The question is simple as ever: "Who will win, and will the story be any fun?" So many novelists forget that second part.
I began my debut novel — working title, "The Send-Up" — in the wake of the Netflix project collapse, and have quietly brought it to shop-for-a-publisher status during the first year of your Patreon support. Yes, it is specifically and directly thanks to your membership here that I have been able to devote the enormous amount of time it takes to crafting this tale.
Clocking in at over 450 pages, I like to think that the spirits of Vonnegut, Wodehouse, and Toole are honored in its structured absurdity, love of language, and leery eye to the human animal.
Please enjoy these sample pages. I am currently in pursuit of a literary agent, so that I do not trade the manuscript for a handful of magical beans. Oh, and I thought it would be fun to lay it out on pictures of paper, to help augur it into physical being, so you have to deal with that.
Thank you everyone! This is an accomplishment for us all, as it is your literal patronage that not only gave me the time, but also the encouragement, to believe this could be done, and be enjoyed.
Comments
I'll buy one!
Action Ben
2024-09-08 07:49:00 +0000 UTCKudos
Mark North
2024-05-26 09:34:04 +0000 UTCI want to see the smoke stain on the page where you first wrote about that plate of muffins, I'm sure it was coming out your ears as you described them. Very few authors pay much attention to food, and yet its description can be so compelling. I don't like clatterford, but I want to know him. I'm stoked about this book!
Ruxine
2024-05-17 06:51:36 +0000 UTCI will buy several copies so I can thrust greatness upon others
Laura
2024-05-11 17:14:48 +0000 UTCCongratulations -- based on the sample, I'm dying to read more. <3
Amy Lewis
2024-05-08 19:47:49 +0000 UTCThis is really exciting. I've always liked your writing, and I've wondered what a long prose work would be like, if you had to keep up the verbosity in the face of mundanity for a whole novel. How do you get us to emotionally invest in the Monopoly guy?
Tommy Blacksox
2024-05-08 00:04:10 +0000 UTCI need to read all of this
Funkulus
2024-05-06 16:27:28 +0000 UTCGood for them to have a little walkin’ around money, in any case.
Doctor Link
2024-05-06 06:50:16 +0000 UTCYeah, that was kinda gross to come across in the sample, I'd also suggest dropping it.
Thea
2024-05-06 06:41:15 +0000 UTCI enjoyed this and I hope it gets published so I can read the rest
Shawn Warren
2024-05-06 04:41:14 +0000 UTCIncredible, bring on the pages!
Cf Duddy
2024-05-06 03:45:21 +0000 UTCIn the context of this Patreon, I can't help but read this as a dramatized meeting of Cornelius and Teodor. Please take that as a compliment. This is going to be great.
Ryan Boyle
2024-05-06 03:02:42 +0000 UTCCongratulations Onstad, very excited to read it
Ben Westcott
2024-05-06 01:50:00 +0000 UTCAcheWodeHouse
b.zap
2024-05-06 01:45:02 +0000 UTCOh HELL yes
Don Rowe
2024-05-06 00:12:16 +0000 UTCThis is making me think that there could be a golden future in combining your proclivities to produce the first ever line of drinkable books. The future is now
Datura
2024-05-05 23:03:35 +0000 UTCBooks?! I can't drink this!!
Datura
2024-05-05 23:02:41 +0000 UTCI think the author would prefer that to a mound of humid $1s.
Nicholas Williams
2024-05-05 20:36:29 +0000 UTCPutting a crisp $20 away for this literary event
Brian Pritchett
2024-05-05 20:16:06 +0000 UTC*Not much, in the grand scheme of things. But I'll talk to the people I can.
John Robinson
2024-05-05 20:01:40 +0000 UTCAs a duly-compensated employee of our nation's finest ampersanded bookstore chain, I will do all that I can* to ensure this masterwork's carriage and distribution throughout the land.
John Robinson
2024-05-05 20:01:01 +0000 UTCI love this. Thank you for the sample. Good luck!!
balbert
2024-05-05 19:24:17 +0000 UTCIt's a Fuck Yes Sunday
Oppido
2024-05-05 19:18:41 +0000 UTCI declare this here and now before all present and future witness, and you may relay this *verbatim* to any literary agents or assistant editors of major publishing houses you come across: This is delightful and I would pay anywhere between $17-23 for a finely bound hardcover of the remaining text, or $12-15 for a Kindle edition. Good luck with the manuscript shopping!
Tom
2024-05-05 19:02:58 +0000 UTCVery stoked for you, big homie. Excited to check it out.
“Cool Mayonnaise” Hank Spurlock
2024-05-05 18:40:35 +0000 UTCHoly crap, I am feeling so anticipatory about this
Tim from New Hampshire
2024-05-05 18:37:38 +0000 UTCWell, I’m sold.
Gregory Sheets
2024-05-05 18:31:33 +0000 UTCmaybe this is my sign to upgrade tiers because this normally wouldnt be my kind of writing but i am so in
jakorcuppa
2024-05-05 18:12:23 +0000 UTCI'm sold!
Jacquelyn R Walters
2024-05-05 18:04:06 +0000 UTCI don't get it. Is Ray Smuckles a Robber Baron now? Does he do zees in the name of Bastille?
Mike Farahbakhshian
2024-05-05 17:53:26 +0000 UTCThis is a dream come true - so excited to read the rest of this!
Ismini Roller
2024-05-05 17:40:13 +0000 UTCI’m delighted this day has come. I have idly daydreamed about this day, in years gone by. “I wonder if Onstad will ever write that book” I’d think. “Maybe if I won the lottery I could pay him to do it.” And now here it is, and I haven’t even won the lottery! (Yay?)
Doctor Link
2024-05-05 17:39:00 +0000 UTCThis is better than I had even hoped!
Mrbimbin
2024-05-05 17:34:26 +0000 UTCThis is delightful! Would you consider dispensing with the term "Oriental"?
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-05-05 17:27:47 +0000 UTCVery excited!!!!
Matt Springer
2024-05-05 17:18:22 +0000 UTCI'm always down for any literary godchild of Vonnegut
Bungus Bronbo
2024-05-05 17:04:58 +0000 UTCI've gone ahead and pre-ordered this. Just mailed a crisp $20 to Powell's Books with a note that said "you know what to do 😉"
Stavro
2024-05-05 17:04:45 +0000 UTChell of literary
Mackenzie Guillory
2024-05-05 17:04:43 +0000 UTCWell done can’t wait to read
Joshua Nadas
2024-05-05 17:03:10 +0000 UTCFantastic!
Michael Akey
2024-05-05 17:02:42 +0000 UTC**Philip J Fry meme** TAKE MY MONEY
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-05-05 17:02:37 +0000 UTCI’ve decided. I’ll buy it.
Clinton Hallahan
2024-05-05 17:02:20 +0000 UTC
