0046 - The Account, Pt. 5
Added 2024-01-12 18:00:06 +0000 UTCWelcome to a strip written entirely from under a quilt. It is going to be seventeen degrees Fahrenheit in Portland this weekend, and that is not something we do well here. (Add it to the list.) But I don't want to be some big font of grotty negativity. You know what Portland does really well? Drunk old barbers who want to talk about Viktor Frankl and also have an OnlyFans performer account. What's up, Mack, you make my terrible hair so good, how do you do it time after time, bud.
Comments
It served up an ASCII art picture of Philippe, and I used the domain as an email address for mailing lists. Simpler times.
P Arbuthnot Walker
2024-01-29 09:43:46 +0000 UTCThis arc is bringing back PTSD from my days as a young graphic designer in a sweatshop "ad agency" back in the 90s. There was a corporate VP who intentionally styled himself as a Gordon Gecko, and three female account executives under him who were straight-up Tinas as depicted here. We had one dial-up AOL email account that was shared by an office of twenty-five people. (I'm getting the piss shivers just thinking about it now!)
Marc Harkness
2024-01-26 18:24:49 +0000 UTCIt is tempting to think of Beef or Pat as the most hopeless characters, but it's actually T by a mile.
toby x
2024-01-17 03:49:44 +0000 UTCWhat could be more relatable than talking yourself into thinking what you feel like doing is what you need to do? I'm interested to see how T recovers.
Nathan Hall
2024-01-16 16:14:15 +0000 UTCYou been having some pretty good make-outs?
Nicholas Williams
2024-01-14 14:16:05 +0000 UTCI'm wondering if Lyle isn't pulling a fast one on Tre-Odor here to show him his future, as gaunt as the Buddha he begs under is fat. Téodor charged the items online and since this is his big break, I imagine he would go for faster shipping. I can't imagine the credit card company, working at the speed of conventional post, already had a letter waiting for him when his idiot's expenditures arrived. The missing factor is how long it has been since Philippe threatened to go to his room at the silliness of the expensive glasses, and how long it took the items to arrive. In a single day, Téodor has gone from showing off his new duds to Lyle, of all possible beings, and goes right to finding the envelope. Are we witnessing gin-fueled mischief as it is made?
Traedran
2024-01-14 09:15:38 +0000 UTCIs all goot over here in "I project my ego onto Vlad"-country, baby
Toilet Cobra
2024-01-14 06:42:50 +0000 UTCWow, was KACW my idea of a west-of-the-Rockies Achewood community radio station? Did you ever do anything with that server? I hope it at least served some anarchistic cookbook LaTex files until the FBI got wind
Chris Onstad
2024-01-13 21:06:12 +0000 UTCreading the eviction notice and the "this wasn't a paid position and I'm closing the company" text simultaneously, one through each lens of the $500 fashion glasses
Cohen is a Ghost
2024-01-13 18:40:29 +0000 UTCWhy did I believe that everything said by someone who's dated Ray multiple times would be completely true and above board.
Travis O.
2024-01-13 18:21:05 +0000 UTCHe's either referring to a preposition for expressing the relationship between a part and a whole, or OnlyFans.
Matthew Harris
2024-01-13 15:30:59 +0000 UTCI relate to all the Achewood characters a little bit, but I shamefully relate to Teodor the most, so it wounds me deeply when he is just a feckless fucking idiot doing the world's stupidest shit all of the fucking time.
Nicholas Williams
2024-01-13 13:50:08 +0000 UTCDo you remember jokingly suggesting that someone set up gopher.kacw.org, back in the day? I'm the guy that did it. Long since lapsed now though.
P Arbuthnot Walker
2024-01-13 08:41:12 +0000 UTCThe power of Diet Coke
Oppido
2024-01-13 02:59:01 +0000 UTCTina is remarkably trim for someone who goes double garlic bread on her lunch hour. She's lost as much weight as Teodor seems to have gained
Toilet Cobra
2024-01-13 02:34:45 +0000 UTCIt's AI. Stop asking questions. If we can have a RayBot, we can make AI work for anything. It generates "buzz" man. "BUZZ."
J Hardy Carroll
2024-01-13 01:52:26 +0000 UTCwould the AI be used to promote the menu or design the menu? Or both?
Sedric And Charlie
2024-01-13 01:41:04 +0000 UTCPredestination and entitlement are boomer hallmarks, so I see the connection. Many boomer Americans are descendants of the Huegenots, too. The Worst Generation.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-01-13 00:18:38 +0000 UTCCan you afford not to?
John Robinson
2024-01-12 23:49:32 +0000 UTCIt seems like a leap to push the current cultural climate provided by the influence of the boomers to the fundamental arguments of transubstantiation and the late 16th and 17th century French religious and political Protestant reforms. Yet I do agree with Mr. Carroll in that Tina should have pitched AI to that food truck lunch lord fellow.
C C
2024-01-12 23:48:06 +0000 UTCTina!!
C C
2024-01-12 23:26:53 +0000 UTCah, ha ha. You refer to my barber's OnlyFans account. I wrote that paragraph a week ago and forgot about it.
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 22:53:06 +0000 UTCWhen Ramses Luther laments bright-eyed liars and titans of inner filth, this is who he's talking about
Don Rowe
2024-01-12 22:21:44 +0000 UTCTurnt out for pasta casserole...smdh
Linus Lee
2024-01-12 22:21:21 +0000 UTCTrading web development for lasagna feels like 2007 all over again, she could have sweetened the deal by offering to Six Sigma his business operations
A. Hamster
2024-01-12 22:19:53 +0000 UTCLos Del Rio -- "Macarena (Bayside Boys Remix) (Jonathan Wolff edit)"
Don Rowe
2024-01-12 22:13:13 +0000 UTCBoomers are the flower of three centuries of Calvinism. The sooner they're dead the better. Never has a single generation been so self-absorbed while wreaking such damage
J Hardy Carroll
2024-01-12 22:13:06 +0000 UTCWhat’s an OF? At first I scanned the strip for a typo (my nightmare)
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 22:01:31 +0000 UTCNot if T is making it for free
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 22:00:33 +0000 UTCHe’s a townie for sure. JVJL was just born there, made his money elsewhere
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 22:00:05 +0000 UTCI ftp’d it to kimdotcom
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 21:59:12 +0000 UTCThis has legs. Is there a market? Can I afford to find out?
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 21:58:03 +0000 UTCPortland. Any more and the police will find him
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 21:57:28 +0000 UTCNice callback to Charley and the Honda civic
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 21:57:02 +0000 UTCAm frankly mixed on the use of cliffhangers, but they seem essential to serialized content. A cheap trick, or an essential one? Also, sometimes the joke just falls in the middle.
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 21:56:29 +0000 UTCYou blame boomers, but really it was the Calvinist Huguenots
Chris Onstad
2024-01-12 21:55:27 +0000 UTCNext week’s recipe: chicken!
chili sunrise
2024-01-12 21:44:49 +0000 UTCWell, that was fast. "Mobile-compliant website" is no longer sexy. She should have pitched AI instead. Also, the glass grandma dying room is gonna be a hot ticket in the coming years. The way boomers have fucked everything up, you'll be able to charge for that shit.
J Hardy Carroll
2024-01-12 21:00:58 +0000 UTCDem bones had it all (except rent money)
tossrock
2024-01-12 20:35:30 +0000 UTCCan be a lotta sodium in the diet cokes
Anthony Thompson
2024-01-12 20:29:19 +0000 UTCDon't leave us hanging like this
Tom PM
2024-01-12 19:46:51 +0000 UTCThis was already painful on its own and then I remembered T is robed in the $4,000 garments of a fool
Sedric And Charlie
2024-01-12 19:41:11 +0000 UTCthis tina/teodor storyline is living up to everything i hoped it'd be
Blue Delliquanti
2024-01-12 19:40:11 +0000 UTCReading this arc HURTS
Jenn
2024-01-12 19:36:06 +0000 UTCPivot to video.
Omnithea
2024-01-12 19:24:25 +0000 UTCPlease add name and location of referenced barber.
BootsMcGuffin
2024-01-12 19:22:46 +0000 UTCI wouldn't be mad about a road trip buddy-comedy arc starring the Lunch Lord guy and the gossipy hot dog chef.
Oppido
2024-01-12 18:57:56 +0000 UTCWe may need to taste Lunch Lord's lasagna. Maybe it's the garlic bread. How much is Diet Coke now?
Linus Lee
2024-01-12 18:47:02 +0000 UTCPowerful "Farmer Brown from Calvin & Hobbes" energy for our boy T.
Oppido
2024-01-12 18:43:59 +0000 UTCI don't know specifically why the phrasing of doing something "past the Seinfeld logo" is getting me, but: oh hee hee!
Lionstooth
2024-01-12 18:41:48 +0000 UTCThis is approaching Safdie Bros levels of anxiety-inducing. Poor Teodor.
Ben Wissett
2024-01-12 18:37:38 +0000 UTCIt would be approximately 17 times easier just to make the lasagna yourself
Lionstooth
2024-01-12 18:36:38 +0000 UTCgoodness, this is like watching the slo-mo guys channel when they do ultra-slow impact, and the object and immovable force have just connected, and you know shit is going to crumple and shatter but you don't know how exactly it will play out. /the suspense/
Caleb Gerard
2024-01-12 18:27:46 +0000 UTCThe strip has been ascii-arted onto all the top universities' gopher servers as well as BBSs in all major area codes
Don Rowe
2024-01-12 18:26:21 +0000 UTCNice Pete would approve it, except for the mannequin part
Guilherme Töws
2024-01-12 18:22:52 +0000 UTCin freefall, almost.
Caleb Gerard
2024-01-12 18:21:01 +0000 UTCSharing this strip on Napster in the spirit of things.
Brian Sutton
2024-01-12 18:20:13 +0000 UTCLunch Lord has given me way more insight into the town in which its resident dirtiest dudes grew up in than any J. Vincent J. Lemoni lore. (Or is it that we're truly learning about the soul of J. Vincent J.?)
Don Rowe
2024-01-12 18:19:08 +0000 UTCFound by Google: "You can set up food orders on Instagram to give people a way to support your business. When someone taps the Order Food button on your Instagram profile or the Food Orders sticker in your Instagram story, they'll be directed to your partner's website to order food delivery or take-out from your business." I was not aware of this either.
Julie (HiDeeHoGal)
2024-01-12 18:15:46 +0000 UTC"A Special Glass Room For My Grandma To Die In" was a real good early Bull of Heaven song that sounds like listening to the scariest note of a horror song played for fifteen hours while suffocating in that very glass box.
Kriegsaffe No. 9
2024-01-12 18:10:52 +0000 UTCthat is TOO much work for lasagna.
Linus Lee
2024-01-12 18:10:01 +0000 UTCThis guy's looking for any excuse to bring up the glass room for his grandma to die in. Which reminds me of a conceptual art piece I invented once: a storefront on in a major shopping area that's empty except for a mannequin in a chair with a shotgun pointed at its head. A curious shopper opens the door, pulling tight the string tied to the shotgun's trigger, which blows the mannequin's head off. Really makes you think.
Joe
2024-01-12 18:06:58 +0000 UTCThe shoe is in the air.
Matthew Harris
2024-01-12 18:06:56 +0000 UTCI hope to one day have a glass box to die in.
Josh Egbert
2024-01-12 18:06:44 +0000 UTCAn OF, you say.
Yelahneb Unicornucopiax
2024-01-12 18:05:06 +0000 UTCGoodness I missed the suspense and now that it’s back I’m spoiled to have a chance to complain about it.
Aaron J. Rushton
2024-01-12 18:03:57 +0000 UTC
