August Exclusive - Mr Fluffles - Part 5

It’s not a long way, according to Ashley. Just a little walk. “A little stroll in a stroller!”

Being in the buggy feels different this time. It must be the driver.

Ashley says that that they must be careful, that someone from the daycare might follow them, and Robert had been filled with dread, imagining an adult-sized version of the bear, like someone in a furry costume, charging after them.

The rear-facing stroller gives Robert a good view of anyone behind them, and there’s no sign of the enemy, fuzzy yellow or otherwise. But he keeps a careful lookout.

“Nearly there,” Ashley says more than once. “What a pretty day!” She looks left and right, encouraging Robert to do the same, craning his head to discover that there is a lot to see; passers-by, traffic, birds in trees, even a black cat running across the sidewalk. Is it good luck, Robert tries to remember, when a black cat crosses your path? Either way, the sun shines and the air feels cool, and he is glad of the blanket. Glad that Ashley is in charge. Robert feels his sense of dread fade away. He’s in safer hands now. She’ll look after him. She won’t let anyone try and turn his brains into pudding.

“Nearly there,” Ashley keeps saying, like a mantra, her tone bright and lilting. Nearly there, until the words sound meaningless. Robert strokes the blanket, his thoughts wandering to colors and shapes, sounds and scents.

Nearly where? Sometimes he forgets, but then Robert only has to look up and see Ashley’s face, and he remembers where they’re going. To Ashley’s house, where Robert won’t have to drink formula, where he won’t have to wear his silly jammies, and most importantly of all, where Anne can’t find him.

“When we get home, what would you like for a snack?” asks Ashley, still using her sing-song tone, so that the other people won’t think it’s suspicious that she’s talking to a baby. “Would you like…pizza? Would you like…a hot dog?”

Robert grins, showing his bottom two teeth. What an idea, a baby eating pizza! A baby eating a hot dog! He imagines the ketchup and mustard going everywhere. Ashley isn’t just smart, she’s also hilarious.

Robert kicks his feet lightly, as if he really is strolling. “I want…pepperoni!” he calls out, and then he blushes. He’s not supposed to do that.

Ashley looks around, a flicker of concern on her face, and then she smiles. No one had heard. She stops the stroller, bends down, and taps Robert lightly on the nose. “Babies can’t talk, silly!” She giggles. “Babies can’t order pizza!”

The giggle is contagious, and Robert joins in.

“Silly boy,” Ashley says sweetly. She tilts her head at him. “What do babies say?”

Robert tugs on the blanket, his hands bunching into fists. He wants to give the answer, but won’t he sound silly?

“Come on,” Ashley coaxes. “What do sweet little baby boys say, hmm?” She presses her lips together and then says, “Buh-buh-buh.”

With her face just inches away, Robert finds himself unable to resist parroting the sound. “Buh-buh-buh,” he says softly. And then when Ashley beams at him, Robert babbles again, louder this time.

“That’s it!” says Ashley. “What a good boy!” She kisses him on the forehead, and Robert kicks his legs again, and he spreads his arms wide, and he knows in the moment that if Ashley wants to tickle him, to hug and cuddle him, then he won’t resist. Because he’s just a baby, he’s just a-

He stops kicking. An abrupt feeling of claustrophobia sets in. The lady is too close, Robert can’t see past her. And then Ashley straightens up, and the sky and surroundings come back into view. He sighs with relief.

Ashley takes her own moment to look around. She nods with apparent satisfaction. “Well, I don’t think anyone followed us.” She nods again. “I think you made it.” She claps her hands together. “You escaped!”

Robert copies the action, and it’s okay that it’s a clumsy attempt. “We ‘scaped,” he says. And then he shakes his head and says, “Buh-buh-buh!”

Ashley laughs. “Exactly.” She sighs. “You must feel so much better now.” She puts hands to the small of her back and stretches. “I know I do. I was so tense, but now I’m all relaxed and calm.” She smiles down at Robert. “You feeling calm, too?”

Robert nods. “Buh-buh,” he replies, because what else does he need to say?

“How smart we are,” says Ashley. “What a good plan.” She puts a finger to her lips and then bends down again, long enough to whisper, “We’re just like secret agents.” Her eyebrows raise, and then she says, “Or maybe…we’re like jungle tigers.” She points at Robert. “Like your jammies!”

Robert follows the woman’s finger and smiles at his blue outfit. There are lots of tigers and lions on his jammies, and of course the smiles on his feet. He stretches out his legs and gazes down at his toes with a pleased expression.

“Could I be a tiger too?” asks Ashley.

Robert looks up at her. It’s a strange question, made stranger when the woman covers her hands with her face.

Robert purses his lips. What’s Ashley doing?

And then his eyes widen in surprise when Ashley suddenly pulls her hands away. “Roaaarrr!” she says, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

Robert smiles, to show he gets the joke. It’s very silly, it’s the sort of thing they do at daycare. Funny, but Robert never saw the point of it, until now.

When Ashley covers her face again, Robert giggles. There’s a feeling of delight and comfort floods his mind as he understands what’s about to happen. Ashley is going to play the game again. She’s going to be a tiger.

“Where’s the tiger? Where’s she gone?” Ashley asks behind her hands.

Robert points clumsily towards her, kicking his feet with abandon. “You’re there, you’re the tiger!” He’s forgotten to use his baby words, but it doesn’t seem to matter, because his diction is so lazy, it might as well be baby babble. Yoo-eh, yoo-dy-guh!

Robert feels a building excitement, the joyous certainty of knowing, and when Ashley shows her face, when she roars, Robert produces an infantile squeal of delight.

Ashely grins at him. “There you go, I can tell you’re feeling all happy. Your mommy said you were being a grumpy gus, but I don’t think you’re a grump gus, I think you’re…” This time she covers Robert’s eyes with his hands. “…a happy tiger!”

Robert provides an open-mouthed giggle, continuing to kick his feet.

“Where’s my happy tiger?” Ashley asks, sounding both puzzled and excited at the same time. “Where’d my happy tiger go?”

She takes her own hands away and Robert’s hands follow almost instantly, and he arches his back, straining against the stroller buckle, and utters the most babyish and adorable of roars.

“Happy tiger!” Ashley exclaims. “There you are!”

“There you are!” Robert parrots, deh oo-ahh! his sense of language dimming as synapses in his brain fail to fire, his mind simplifying to bring his reasoning and intelligence back to early childhood.

“Silly Bobby,” says Ashely indulgently. She pulls at the Velcro fastening of the diaper bag. “Let’s see what goodies we have inside, okay?”

Robert nods, as if the woman was really asking permission, and he watches with interest as Ashley retrieves first a pair of disposable diapers, and then a pack of wipes. “Oh yes,” says Ashely approvingly, “definitely for you, definitely for a baby.”

Robert nods, in full agreement. The diapers are for him. The wipes are for him.

But the next item Ashley reveals is a surprise.

“Huh,” she says. “What about this?” She places it gently in Robert’s curious hands.

“Itsa…itha…” Robert smiles. “Beh!”

Ashley beams at him. “That’s right, clever boy!” She crouches down in front of him again. “It’s Mr. Fluffles, isn’t it?”

Robert nods, this time uncertainly. Because does the bear belong to him? Does the bear belong to babies? And then a bigger question bubbles up in Robert’s reduced mind.

Isn’t he…aren’t they supposed to be…?

Robert shakes his head weakly. “Noh…”

Ashley looks puzzled. “No?”

“Noh…beh…” Robert strokes the plush material of the bear, even as he attempts to reject it. “Noh…bay-bee.”

“Huh,” says Ashley again. “You know, the reason why Miss Donna calls this bear her secret weapon?” She sits the bear up on Robert’s blanket, wiggles it, and then brings it up to Robert’s face. “Because it doesn’t have be touched. Even though Mr. Fluffles is so soft and lovely, you don’t have to touch him to make friends. He can stay in your diaper bag, and even after just a few minutes, he helps you get all happy and sweet.” She rubs the bear’s fur against Robert’s cheeks, making him smile reflexively, and then he grabs the toy and squeezes it.

“Good boy,” Ashley says mildly. “I bet that feels so much better! All those silly worries, all gone! Now when Mommy picks you up, you’ll be all smiles.” She kisses his forehead. “All smiles for Mommy, because your brain is just silly pudding now.” She giggles, and her tone becomes even more lilting as she says, “Sweet, baby Bobby, Mommy’s gonna eat you up!”

Robert giggles as well, his mind relaxing further along with his body, producing a mess in his diaper with a consistency to match the pudding between his ears. “Muhh…muh-muh-guh!” He opens his lips wide and starts to explore the texture of Mr. Fluffle’s right ear with his mouth.

“Good boy,” Ashely says in her sing-song voice. “Good boy.” And then she says, “Just gotta do one thing, sweetie, to make sure you’re ready for Mommy.” And she gently takes the teddy from Robert’s hands and looks at the bear with a thoughtful expression, before covering it with the blanket.

“Where’d Mr. Fluffles go?” she asks, her face a mask of confusion. “Where’s he gone, Bobby?”

Robert looks at Ashley, slack-jawed and wide-eyed. And then he crams the fingers of one hand into his mouth and sucks on them contentedly.

Ashely nods with approval. “And that, silly baby, is something called object permanence.” She pulls the blanket back to reveal the teddy, and Robert grunts with pleasure, grabbing the fuzzy bear and burying his face against it.

“All done,” says Ashley. She sniffs the air delicately. “Gonna need to change your diaper, sweetie. But we can do that when we get back.” She strokes his hair. “Between us, I don’t think Miss Donna’s secret weapon is Mr. Fluffles.” She winks at the baby and whispers, “I think it’s me.”

And with that, Ashley takes Bobby back to the daycare center.

THE END

It was bad enough, his girlfriend turning him into a baby. Now the daycare's special teddy bears will have his mind matching his body. - Rick