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Patreon August Flash #1 - "Big Break"

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1

“Female actors have an expiration date. I told you that twenty years ago.”

Starla looks into her compact mirror as she listens to her agent, Derek, on the phone, during their regular Monday catch-up.

“You’re too choosy. The roles you’ve had in the past, they’re not appropriate anymore.”

Meaning she’s too old. Meaning at 32, she’s over the hill. She already understands how the business works; she doesn’t need it explained by her patronizing agent. He talks to her as if she’s a child, a naïve ingenue, but Darla’s been a professional actor for half her life!

Derek can explain the ‘rules’ and ‘realities’ as much as he likes; Darla isn’t going to audition for ‘stressed-out mother or ‘auntie with a heart of gold’. She’s sick of all the bit parts, and she’s sick of being treated as though she’s past her prime. She’s waited 16 years for her big break, and now it’s clear that it’s never going to happen.

“I’m not going to settle for doing something I don’t believe in.”

“How about saying yes to something. Anything.”

It’s probably for the best that Starla can’t see her agent’s face right now. He sounds exasperated. Like he’s thinking of ending their business relationship.

“You’re getting famous for the wrong reasons.”

There’s a bleeping sound on the line. “Hang on,” Derek says.

As Starla waits, she considers firing him, getting the blow in first. She could control the narrative.

“There’s…something,” her agent says, coming back on the line.

Starla feels her jaw harden. “If it’s anything about an energetic granny, I don’t want to hear.”

The agent laughs. “No grannies.” He laughs again. “Kind of the opposite, in fact.” Derek tells Darla about the role.

She rolls her eyes, and then says, “How’s that possibly going to work?” She imagines a green screen; she thinks of all kinds of TV trickery.

2

The girl doing Darla’s make-up on Wednesday is sympathetic. “As men get older, they have gravitas. Women get…”

“Desperate,” Darla finishes, earning a giggle.

“Something like that! Now, then, keep those lips closed for a second, darlin’, I’m gonna make you look adorable.”

Truth is, Darla already looks adorable. With the curly red hair of her childhood, the button nose and dusting of freckles.

Darla is seven years old, and ready for her callback audition for the titular role of Katie Morag in the CBBC show.

She closes her eyes as well as her mouth. TV trickery. But it’s not a trick. The process suggested – strongly encouraged – by her agent has left Darla open for a treasure trove of child roles.

I won’t start thinking like one, she had asked her agent. She worried about flubbing her lines, she saw the dangers around being exploited or worse.

The agent had scoffed at the idea. “They do this all the time! Half the child actors you see on TV these days, basically they’re adult stand-ins. Give it a whirl, Darla. You don’t like it; we’ll pull you back out again.”

After the procedure, she was relieved to find that first thoughts were about when she was going to get around to painting the upstairs bathroom in her house, and not whether Derek would take her to Bluewater so she could buy a brand-new Glitter Girls doll.

An adult mind in a child’s body; she can remember her lines; she can follow directions. No one else in the first audition came close. And the show is perfect. Seven-year-old Katie Morag is afraid of change, with her favourite teacher leaving the local school, and her mother is giving all her attention to Katie’s rambunctious baby sister.

Katie can handle acting as though she doesn’t want her life to change. It’s barely acting at all.

And is she willing to be seen as, treated as, a little girl?

Darla opens her eyes, focuses on her mirrored reflection.

Whatever it takes.

3

“No-no, Darla, that’s not for you.”

Derek, not normally a hands-on agent, is very much present in the dressing room this Friday morning. He’s not surprised that his youngest client is requiring more handling today. Especially after how the callback audition went.

“I do it,” Darla protests, reaching for the powder brush.

“No, sweetie,” says Derek, and he spins Darla’s chair around so he can speak to her properly, face-to-face. “Honey, you have to let the make-up lady do her job.”

Darla keeps reaching for the brush.  Why can’t she have it? Her cheeks warm with the certainty that the world is ending. Strong emotions, which is understandable because she’s been under a lot of pressure this week. And since the callback, she’s just eighteen months old.

4

“What?” Darla had said on Wednesday, seeing Derek’s nervous face. She had laughed. “There’s no way they think I’m too old for the part, so what’s the problem?”

Derek had sighed. “I’m sorry. They wanted someone just a little bit…”

“What?” Darla had looked up at her agent. “Come on, just tell me.” Let’s get the brutal feedback over with, so they can have dinner. Something about being so young was making Darla much more aware of when she was hungry and tired. But she still had her grown-up thoughts, of course. She still demanded to be treated with professional respect.

Derek had shrugged. “Fine. They went with a slimmer girl.” He had held up his hands, as if he couldn’t possibly be part of such a terrible decision.

Darla had looked down at herself, astonished. “I’m too fat?” She felt tears fill her eyes and whispered, “But I’m only seven.”

“I know,” Derek had replied. “It’s not fair.”

Darla had sighed. “Just turn me back.” She shook her head. “I’ll be the granny, whatever.”

“Actually, they were wondering…” Derek raised his hands again. “And it’s just a suggestion. Because they think you’d be perfect for a different role.”

5

Darla may fall apart. She may just explode. “Wanna do it!”

But then Derek does something wonderfully clever. He gives Darla her special blanket with the giraffe.

Darla clutches it to her tiny chest. “Jaff!” She strokes the plush blanket, inserts a thumb into her mouth, and the make-up girl works around it.

“Thanks,” says the girl, giving Derek a grateful look.

“No problem,” Derek replies. “Always here to look after my favourite client.” He sticks his tongue out at Darla, who grins around her thumb.

“You got your giraffe,” says Derek sweetly, and then we’re going to go into a special room so you can show people how cute you are. No lines to remember, just be your chunky, baby self! Play with some toys, and after that…” Derek taps his chin for a moment and then announces, “We’re going to McDonalds!”

Darla kicks her feet enthusiastically. Derek’s so clever, the way he explains things so she can understand. Darla’s such a lucky little girl, to have an agent like him.


THE END


"Actor Starla would do anything to pass her audition for a new TV show but there’s only the role of a young child left to fill. " – Joseph


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