April Exclusive - "Hidden" - Part 3

“Why are you hiding my husband?” It’s a question I never thought I’d have to ask.

“I’m not hiding him, Claire. And you’re not worried.” Susan smiles at me. “We’re just two sisters, enjoying a cold drink, sharing stories on the deck.” She tilts her cocktail glass at me.

As soon as she says it, I know it’s true. And that’s a funny thing about how this conversation has gone in the last few minutes. I find myself thinking one thing – something bad, something uncertain – and then Susan opens her mouth, and I find myself thinking something altogether different.

Like when I said I felt guilty for pressuring Steven to spend Easter here without me. But Susan explained, there was nothing to feel guilty about. That Stevie has had the best day. And I imagine him enjoying himself, and it feels like relief.

Like when I asked how Steven was doing with his allergies, because he’s been miserable this week, sneezing and itching. And it’s Susan who reminds me; Stevie doesn’t have allergies. Stevie loves being outside, playing in the sun, running in the grass in his bare feet. I see it, I remember it, and I laugh at the very thought of his happiness.

Like when I said it was too warm, that we should go inside. But Susan explained, the heat felt good, it was being on our very own vacation. And so it does.

I close my eyes, feel the warm sun on my face. And In wonder when my sister become so persuasive?

I swirl the blue-tinted cocktail around the glass. “What did you call this thing again?”

Susan shrugs. “I didn’t. Maybe you can name it for me.”

It’s strong, whatever it is. I can feel it coat my tongue and open my mind. Perhaps my sister has drugged me. Maybe she had done something desperate.

I sigh. The heat is so good, like a vacation, but it’s been a long day. Packing up the house, getting the car detailed. I always like to have things clean and tidy before moving somewhere new. I guess it’s like my childhood; my parents were always moving us around, state to state, and I remember the anxiety of starting at a new school, being the new kid in class.

I open my eyes. “Where’s Danny?”

“He’s with Stevie. They’re playing together.”

I laugh. “That doesn’t sound like Steven.”

Susan tilts her face at me, looking confused. “Stevie loves playing games. He’s always so sweet and playful.”

I frown, and then I shake my head, surprised at myself. How does my sister know my husband better than me? Of course, he’s playful. He’s full of fun.

“So sweet,” says Susan. “So innocent. Just a sweet, innocent little boy.”

I blink at that. I look down at my wedding ring for reassurance, because there’s something in my head, a whispering, tapping something that makes me imagine Steven as his childhood photos. That chubby-cheeked, beaming little boy.

“Isn’t he,” Susan says. “Isn’t he so sweet and little.” She reaches over and takes my empty glass, and then takes hold of my hand. “Funny,” she says, “how my two boys can be so similar. Like peans in a pod. Even though Danny’s four years older, and I was worried the age gap would be too much, but really, he dotes on Stevie.” She squeezes my hand. “He just loves his baby brother.”

Too much. I get to my feet, pull away from Susan. Because that’s not right, that’s way off course. I walk to the deck railing, lean on the wood for support, look out to the lake, watch a heron fly across the glittering water.

It’s too much. It’s not right. I may faint, I might fall apart right here and now. But the lake is real, the bird isn’t my imagination. And I look back at the house, at my sister, and I feel a ripple of grief as I lose my husband, as my wedding band becomes nothing but an affectation. I could throw it in the water, I could drop it in the trash.

“One thing’s for sure,” Susan says, joining me at the railing. She puts her arm around my shoulder. “Both my boys love their Auntie Claire.” She sighs happily. “Oh sis, I’m so glad you’ve changed your mind about moving away.”

Tears fill my eyes. There is an emptiness in my chest, something hollow and abandoned, and then it is filled with the certainty that I am part of something, I am a loved part of my sister’s life.

And then, of course, there are her boys.

There’s a knocking sound on the door behind us. And then a little boy’s voice, more like a toddler, calling for his mother.

Susan rolls her eyes. “Sounds like trouble.” She goes to open the door, and I watch, my back against the railing, as both boys emerge.

Danny, looking like a big kid in his T-shirt and short, but the effect diluted by the childish bunny ears on his head. He rushes up to me, hands around my waist, just like he always does. “Hey, monster,” I say, and I wink down at him. He’s not trouble, he’s a ball of adorable energy.

“I found so many eggs, Auntie Claire!”

I tousle his straw-colored hair. “Did you now? And Have you eaten all the candy alre- “

“Eggth!”

It’s trouble after all.

I put a hand to my mouth.

I have to laugh.

Here comes Stevie, toddling across the deck wearing just his bunny ears and a diaper. He’s soaked it by the look of things, the garment drooping between his legs.

I grin at him. “I think maybe Stevie had some candy too, huh?”

“Cah-dee!” the two-year-old confirms, the evidence all over his mouth.

“Danny,” Susan chides. “You’re supposed to keep an eye on him.” Before Stevie can reach me, chubby hands out to hug his aunt, chubby hands with chocolate-stained fingers, his mother scoops him up. “Heavens,” she says, in a tone rich with resigned amusement, “May as well put you straight in the bathtub.”

Stevie takes the news well. “Bubbuhs?” he inquires, and with such wide-eyed innocence, I’m not surprised Susan finds it difficult to say no to his every desire.

I kiss his fat cheek. “Auntie Claire’s gonna give you a bath tonight,” I tell him grandly. “And there will definitely be bubbles.” I look at Danny. “You gonna get the tub with Stevie, help me out?”

The older boy nods. He knows I’ll make it worth his while, he knows his auntie is good for spending more that she should in the toy section at Target.

“Bubbuhs!” squeals Stevie gleefully, and then he starts sucking on his candy-coated fingers.

“Come on,” I tell the toddler. “Let’s get that soggy diaper off you.” I reach to take him from his mother, and Susan smiles. “Best auntie ever.”

That’s true. I think of these boys, and I know I will always love them, indulge them. I will do more than I need to, perhaps more than I should. But that’s okay. I love them both more than anything else in the world, although I kiss Stevie on the cheek, and even though I don’t say it, I’ll confess right here; he’s my favorite.

THE END

""A man helps his young nephew in an egg hunt and soon finds himself wanting to win more...” TTa