Roomie / what are you the most selfish about?

I am glad, that is wonderful news. I hope you both had a good time. Thank you, and I'm genuinely sorry for my mistake. Really hope this doesn't come off mean. I am grateful.

Gayle

2024-03-01 06:16:27 +0000 UTC

Your friend gives me the impression of a likeable and cool zen guy. 😎 Thanks for your insight 💜 because I think you're right that most family members or good friends usually won't outright feel any burden if I share my worries to them. It's just my personality I guess that they're precious to me and I sort of set some kind of psychology/emotional boundary.

♠️ Aslyn Jobry ♠️

2024-02-29 04:51:45 +0000 UTC

Nothing wrong with that 😁

JustSomeJK

2024-02-28 15:15:27 +0000 UTC

Thank you Aslyn, I might've been conditioned, but sometimes it feels best to escape from everyone.. I can comfortably open up in one-on-one conversations, and like you, only with some people. I too found that with "not as emotional" or non-judgmental people, it's much easier.. I have one particular friend (I trust) who's not affected by anything I say and encourages as much as I'm willing to share, because he's interested in people and gathering knowledge 😅 in that he reminds me of my brother, but there's a limit to what I share with a family. I love that it's win-win, one gets insight, and the other relief (and interesting feedback). I know from my perspective, that I'm never bothered when people I care about share with me and go emotionally wherever, and it doesn't burden me. But I definitely understand the need for independence and own personal (emotional/mental and physical) space 🧡

Nina L

2024-02-28 12:34:53 +0000 UTC

Pffft if I’m being honest it’s mostly what you said, I just want my own room hehe 😬

emy

2024-02-27 22:05:15 +0000 UTC

😂 Wasn't expecting those reasons for wanting ur own room 😆

JustSomeJK

2024-02-27 21:33:20 +0000 UTC

Yeah, sometimes the selfish plans don’t work out! 😆 In my case it’s mostly for their own good because I’m so useless in the mornings. It takes half an hour for my eyes to even open properly, and I can’t operate unfamiliar coffee machines, no one needs to be around that 🥸

emy

2024-02-27 21:28:52 +0000 UTC

I wish I could have my own hotel room if going for a trip with friends, but then I never dare to say it, 'cos I don't want to make my friend pay more 😅 But I can relate 😆 It's nice to hang out in a hotel room with a friend, but still I would rather have my own room and just visit each others rooms 🤪

JustSomeJK

2024-02-27 18:44:25 +0000 UTC

I'm selfish about my time, energy and space. I need alone time to recharge. I would be so mad if someone would volunteer me without asking me first, that's taking away someone's freedom to decide about their own life! I can also be a bit selfish about money. I have worked since I was 15, so it's important to have my own money. I like giving gifts and doing nice things for people I care about, but whenever I have experienced that someone counts on me paying for most of the things and using me, expecting stuff from me without ever doing nice things back, it annoys the heck out of me. And I'm not saying that I do nice things only to get something back, to me it just needs to be fair somehow.. If I would be filthy rich then I could take money out of this list.. I also keep a lot of stuff about myself to myself, but I don't know if that's being selfish.. mostly I think that people don't care, so I don't share or that I don't want to burden them. The way it could be seen as selfish could probably be that I don't talk about the things that bother me, until it gets so bad that I can't take it anymore and then it all might be a surprise to the other person... (I can so relate to the being some sort of a beta person, I feel most of the time that I'm being free therapist to people and no one asks even how I'm doing.) I can also relate to the wanting things to be my own doings, 'cos I have a hard time feeling proud of things that involves others. With others I start downplaying my part in it, that my input wasn't important etc. I think everyone is selfish one way or another, but like many has said, it's mostly setting boundaries which is healthy. Interesting topic. I had not stopped to think what is thought of as selfish. Sometimes I feel like it's a matter of who is being more selfish in a situation, for example which one is more selfish... the person who is tired and cancel some plans or the person who expects the other person to still participate even if not having the energy 🤔

JustSomeJK

2024-02-27 18:27:32 +0000 UTC

It’s the only acceptable reference. 😂

AnovaSig

2024-02-27 17:36:32 +0000 UTC

I'm glad to know you're allowing your loved ones including your mom to know what's going on with your life. And you've becoming more contented too. That's great! It's a slippery road to unhealthy isolation if we're not careful. Sometimes I do feel like being observed all the time like a lone fish in an aquarium. Lol. My sisters constantly chat, visit and ask me out for meetups. It's their way of showing love and concern to me. The introvert in me feels tired but for family, I'll compromise. I also have a few close friends who I can freely ask for opinions or for ranting without feeling judged. And I'm thankful for their companionship. It's just that over time, I've become more selective and secretive on what problems to confide in after seeing family members or friends already have their own problems to deal with. Like example one good friend's parent has been diagnosed with cancer or another friend was retrenched from work. That's why I felt that I don't want to add any emotional burden to anyone and just slowly try figure things out on my own.

♠️ Aslyn Jobry ♠️

2024-02-27 16:38:45 +0000 UTC

I think I'm similar in that it's not instinctual for me, but my family and friends don't treat me with gloves, so to speak, and either emotionally compell me to share or sometimes even press. I don't like it at the moment, but in the end appreciate it because I feel better. I think that's when things got a lot better between me and my mom, when she could solve some problems for me (or be part of them) or take care of me when I had a cold or something. And from my side too, because I was grateful and sometimes actually helped. Though I still have that first reaction where I'm "oh no, now it's not only mine anymore.." But at the same time, it can be somehow therapeutic.. and I cherish the person I shared with more than before for some reason.

Nina L

2024-02-27 15:13:29 +0000 UTC

@Dorie K I share a lot but only with very few people. Everyone in my life has their own certain“level of access” to my info or thoughts or emotions 😉

Helga 🦊

2024-02-27 14:02:01 +0000 UTC

I think we’re the same person @Helga. But perhaps I’ve shared too much. 😆

Dorie

2024-02-27 12:44:30 +0000 UTC

We’re totally fine. Hung out with him a few hours earlier today (online)

Joel Berghult

2024-02-27 07:23:34 +0000 UTC

Hmmm. I usually think of myself as selfish because I do not have a partner and/or children, so all of my choices are made to benefit only me. Like most people I’m super busy, so I would agree that I am the most selfish with my time, because I do not have much to spare. When I am in group settings tho, I really try and be agreeable 😆

Marissa

2024-02-27 00:15:26 +0000 UTC

I am selfish with my time and my energy. I really try to avoid people who are "energy vampires".

Bookdragon 43

2024-02-26 23:44:46 +0000 UTC

I'm definitely selfish with my time. Most of my life has been spent taking care of people: siblings, children, parents, patients, etc. I'm burnt out at this point and have really pulled away from everyone. So now I'm working hard to find a happy medium lol.

Sugary Magnolia

2024-02-26 22:32:04 +0000 UTC

Joel, if I presume there is a dispute between you and Jonas, sorry. I'm on a soap box, the dynamic paradigm of boss/friend is complex. It's right on the line, and can be tricky. Bottom line though, you are the boss he is the employee. To find a way back, that depends on the both of you. How, the lines were blurred? It can creep up on you without realizing how it happened. Pride needs to be swallowed on both sides, if you both can do it. You both care about each other, don't try to convince me otherwise. The fact that you asked us, then hinted. You are so good at subtlety, it hit me while I was doing errands. All I ask is think, don't rush to anything. I really desire to help. I wish for you to be happy. Truly. ✌️✌️✌️❤️❤️❤️😂😂😂

Gayle

2024-02-26 21:34:58 +0000 UTC

And I've begged him to get therapy. He refuses. He just straight up wants me to baby him for the rest of his life and I'm just not going to put my self through that. If this move doesn't work I'm buying him a bus ticket to go back to his mother.

Leah Miranda

2024-02-26 21:02:13 +0000 UTC

Yeah, I've been talking to a couple of lovely ladies from this Patreon gang and they've said the same thing. 😩 You're all right and I know it, I just... I never thought I'd say I'm divorced. My mom and aunt have been married a total of 16 times between them and I always said I'd never have a divorce under my belt, but here we are....

Leah Miranda

2024-02-26 21:00:35 +0000 UTC

Depression is a horrible thing, I am sorry your husband is going through that. Unfortunately in my experience one has to want to get better, to want to get out on the other side of it, and everyone gets there at their own pace. Maybe you guys moving will be enough motivation for your husband to try to get better. You are not selfish, you are protecting yourself, because you risk burning out or having your own mental health affected. It’s not wrong to try to prioritise yourself in this case, but I hope things work out in a way that makes you happier

Adina

2024-02-26 18:53:10 +0000 UTC

I become a little cranky if I can’t have my alone time. I need it to stop my brain from going 1000 mph after a busy day at work, or even after a fun day with friends.

Adina

2024-02-26 18:29:58 +0000 UTC

The episode where Dean comes back from hell and Sam has set up an iPod to his car and Dean just freaks out about the music. I had to look up who the musical artist was that let them use their song in that way. His name is Jason manns and I love him so much

Lianne Conroy

2024-02-26 17:27:56 +0000 UTC

Hm.. I'm most tight-lipped about personal problems. I refuse to let my family or closest friends know my difficulties. I feel telling them gives them unnecessary stress and burden and makes me feel even more sad to see they wanted to help but couldn't solve the issues for me. I have to rely on myself anyway. So that's me being selfish I guess.

♠️ Aslyn Jobry ♠️

2024-02-26 16:56:09 +0000 UTC

Yuuup I’m glad someone made that reference I didn’t know if anyone would get it haha. Exactly. Dean and I know what’s up.

Samantha Comeau

2024-02-26 16:02:57 +0000 UTC

My alone time and private information that I share with people.

Helga 🦊

2024-02-26 15:44:27 +0000 UTC

Oh I know, I'm already starting to feel great :)

Genevieve

2024-02-26 14:19:26 +0000 UTC

My time too.

Birdie Cantin

2024-02-26 14:16:02 +0000 UTC

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole” 🖤🥧🧥🪽

AnovaSig

2024-02-26 14:00:41 +0000 UTC

🙌 same!

AnovaSig

2024-02-26 13:54:29 +0000 UTC

I don’t know your relationship - but it sounds like manipulation. I hope you do what’s best for you ♥️

AnovaSig

2024-02-26 13:52:29 +0000 UTC

Can you imagine how amazing you will feel when you protect your energy and boundaries? You got this 💪🏻

AnovaSig

2024-02-26 13:50:36 +0000 UTC

I think I'm getting selfish about my energy, I realized I only have a limited amount and don't want to let people waist it. Maybe that's just having boundaries, I don't know, I'm not that familiar with the idea yet...

Genevieve

2024-02-26 12:40:51 +0000 UTC

My energy. One place I am not going this year? Out of my way. I tend to consistently be the dumping ground for everyone’s negativity and normally I can handle it or even feel good about helping someone else feel lighter. Feels good to take care of yourself 😁

AnovaSig

2024-02-26 11:52:27 +0000 UTC

Fooood! I do NOT share food! Other than that, I think I'm a pretty unselfish person tbh, I've always been a people pleaser and like I said on the last vid, never stood up for myself so I'd go with the flow in order to please everyone else. I've definitely got more selfish as I've got older but in ways that are necessary, like setting boundaries and standing up for myself. I think as a parent you have to be largely unselfish but as a single parent I think you can allow yourself some selfishness otherwise you lose yourself completely! My kids have a Go Henry card (not sure if that's a thing outside of the UK, it's like their own 'bank' card that I top up weekly for them so they can waste their own money on slime and sweets and skincare!) and usually by the end of the month they have more money than me so yeah, I'll dip into that for the essentials! I'm not a complete monster though, I always put it back! But in short, just food.

Hayley

2024-02-26 09:24:47 +0000 UTC

I haven't watched the video yet (because it's 5 am lol) But I'm selfish when it comes to my goals and dreams. I was in a relationship for seven years where I was too self-effacing and it ends really badly. Today I don't give up my dreams for anything or anyone. And I also learned to always put myself first. I believe it's selfishness, but I'm much better off now than living for someone else.

Jess Haggstron

2024-02-26 08:27:03 +0000 UTC

My time and my money... I've been the working one in my relationship for the majority of 12 years and I'm tired of feeling used. He spends all of my money on whatever he wants, and I'm still the one using all of my time to do everything. We're moving and it took him a WHOLE month to bring me some moving boxes. I know he's had a rough life (so have I) but he consistently makes me the bad guy, and a lot of the time refuses to help me do anything because he's "depressed". It's a constant fight. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm done letting him have the money that I work my butt off for. I never thought I'd say this, but I think I'm going to ask for a divorce... I'm done being used. Idc anymore 😩Am I selfish?

Leah Miranda

2024-02-26 08:20:46 +0000 UTC

I refuse to change for someone. Idk if that's selfish of just inflexible. I don't expect other people to change for me though. Your facial expressions in these thumbnails are golden ♥️

Snoodle

2024-02-26 08:10:33 +0000 UTC

For sure my time!

Calize

2024-02-26 07:49:15 +0000 UTC

Hmmm, this made me think! I tend to be such a people pleaser at my own detriment, but with that, I also realized that I'm selfish doing projects. Like you, I like to make them all myself without aid if possible. I like feeling it all comes from me so I feel more accomplished, if that makes sense? I include others in credit, of course, if they help, but I do tend to love doing things by myself, even if it really takes me to the edge of my skills and energy. I really loved that this made me think, btw. Really fun introspection.

Courtney Walker

2024-02-26 07:38:19 +0000 UTC

Haha this is strange watching you talking about what you’re selfish of because you and I share the same traits, it’s like you’re talking about myself haha. I will say that the only reason I’m selfish with time it’s because a lot of people have wasted my time and take for a doormat expecting me to do things because I’m a nice person. I’m a nice person but I don’t hand out my time just to anybody anymore. Another funny one is that I’m selfish with my animals like I don’t want them to love anybody else but me 😂 especially my dogs.

Elle Quinn

2024-02-26 07:17:12 +0000 UTC

I guess I tend to interpret selfishness as a lack of consideration for others and most of the responses here seem pretty reasonable and not especially selfish to me. Maybe we’re just generally lovely people in this group

Shiny

2024-02-26 07:16:34 +0000 UTC

Definitely my time on a Sunday. Without saying too much, it’s my only guaranteed me time and if you try to chop it down I get really cranky and blunt about it 😅

Jen 🦙

2024-02-26 07:13:22 +0000 UTC

Not sure if this relates to selfishness. When I was in a new relationship (and finally felt happy after going through a depression) I could not be happy for other people to have a new lover. Because I finally felt happy again with something precious and didn't want others to have it as well.

Annelies

2024-02-26 06:26:09 +0000 UTC

That thumbnail tho 😆🤌

Dannielle O'Neill

2024-02-26 05:10:16 +0000 UTC

I’m a selfish poo about hotel rooms. I would rather bankrupt myself and everyone else than share a hotel room to save money

emy

2024-02-26 05:05:57 +0000 UTC

Selfish tends to have very negative connotations. My take: it’s selfish to have those boundaries, but a good type of selfish. That makes so much more sense in my head than seeing it typed out lol

Alle Engdahl

2024-02-26 04:59:32 +0000 UTC

chocolate 🍫 can't share...won't share.... Well okay I might share I piece with Joel, but just a small bit 😂

Clair (Teampanda)

2024-02-26 04:51:02 +0000 UTC

Some of these things are more about having boundaries than being selfish. I don’t think it’s necessarily selfish to want to eat food you bought, choose who to spend leisure time with or take time to decompress etc.

Shiny

2024-02-26 04:50:55 +0000 UTC

I answered this in the video comments as well, but I can elaborate a bit. My time is what I'm most selfish about. I have to expend a lot of energy at work, so when I get home, I have to hibernate and decompress for awhile. Ideally alone. I tend to get cranky if interrupted, because I really need the time to recharge so I can be the best version of myself for my family. It's true when they say, you can't pour from an empty cup. Good question, Joel!

Trisa

2024-02-26 04:45:10 +0000 UTC

I’m definitely selfish and very choosy with my time. It’s finite and precious. And I’m too damn old to be wasting my minutes on frivolous, meaningless ish. ⏳

Expired Coupon

2024-02-26 04:43:41 +0000 UTC

Same here

Naomiskyyy

2024-02-26 04:43:09 +0000 UTC

I'm most selfish about who I spend my time with. I'm pretty busy working full time and doing chores on my off days so I value my time and find that I feel more comfortable around those who share the same values and beliefs as myself.

Naomiskyyy

2024-02-26 04:42:01 +0000 UTC

❤️❤️

Shauna

2024-02-26 04:34:45 +0000 UTC

I gotchu

Alle Engdahl

2024-02-26 04:34:03 +0000 UTC

Friendships. Had some bad ones before. Can be hard for me to trust sometimes

Shauna

2024-02-26 04:31:00 +0000 UTC

I also answered in video comments, but time for sure. Actual conversation not too long ago Person: Hey Alle do you have a minute? Me: (Walking fast and clearly going somewhere) Nope sorry

Alle Engdahl

2024-02-26 04:30:17 +0000 UTC

for me it's food. I tend to get grumy when someone tries to take fries off my plate at a restuarant that im paying when they didn't feel like ordering their own.lol im an a hole

Candyland20bp1

2024-02-26 04:30:14 +0000 UTC

I answered in the video also but yeah my time and my space because I don't like being around people. If I talk to you or I let you near me I really like you

Lianne Conroy

2024-02-26 04:30:00 +0000 UTC

My car —-> my music. No exceptions!

Samantha Comeau

2024-02-26 04:28:29 +0000 UTC

I answered in the video comments 😅

Airyckah Lane

2024-02-26 04:28:24 +0000 UTC

what are you the most selfish about?

Comments

I am glad, that is wonderful news. I hope you both had a good time. Thank you, and I'm genuinely sorry for my mistake. Really hope this doesn't come off mean. I am grateful.

Nothing wrong with that 😁

Pffft if I’m being honest it’s mostly what you said, I just want my own room hehe 😬

😂 Wasn't expecting those reasons for wanting ur own room 😆

Yeah, sometimes the selfish plans don’t work out! 😆 In my case it’s mostly for their own good because I’m so useless in the mornings. It takes half an hour for my eyes to even open properly, and I can’t operate unfamiliar coffee machines, no one needs to be around that 🥸

It’s the only acceptable reference. 😂

@Dorie K I share a lot but only with very few people. Everyone in my life has their own certain“level of access” to my info or thoughts or emotions 😉

I think we’re the same person @Helga. But perhaps I’ve shared too much. 😆

We’re totally fine. Hung out with him a few hours earlier today (online)

I am selfish with my time and my energy. I really try to avoid people who are "energy vampires".

I'm definitely selfish with my time. Most of my life has been spent taking care of people: siblings, children, parents, patients, etc. I'm burnt out at this point and have really pulled away from everyone. So now I'm working hard to find a happy medium lol.

And I've begged him to get therapy. He refuses. He just straight up wants me to baby him for the rest of his life and I'm just not going to put my self through that. If this move doesn't work I'm buying him a bus ticket to go back to his mother.

I become a little cranky if I can’t have my alone time. I need it to stop my brain from going 1000 mph after a busy day at work, or even after a fun day with friends.

The episode where Dean comes back from hell and Sam has set up an iPod to his car and Dean just freaks out about the music. I had to look up who the musical artist was that let them use their song in that way. His name is Jason manns and I love him so much

Yuuup I’m glad someone made that reference I didn’t know if anyone would get it haha. Exactly. Dean and I know what’s up.

My alone time and private information that I share with people.

Oh I know, I'm already starting to feel great :)

My time too.

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts their cakehole” 🖤🥧🧥🪽

🙌 same!

I don’t know your relationship - but it sounds like manipulation. I hope you do what’s best for you ♥️

Can you imagine how amazing you will feel when you protect your energy and boundaries? You got this 💪🏻

I think I'm getting selfish about my energy, I realized I only have a limited amount and don't want to let people waist it. Maybe that's just having boundaries, I don't know, I'm not that familiar with the idea yet...

My energy. One place I am not going this year? Out of my way. I tend to consistently be the dumping ground for everyone’s negativity and normally I can handle it or even feel good about helping someone else feel lighter. Feels good to take care of yourself 😁

I refuse to change for someone. Idk if that's selfish of just inflexible. I don't expect other people to change for me though. Your facial expressions in these thumbnails are golden ♥️

For sure my time!

I guess I tend to interpret selfishness as a lack of consideration for others and most of the responses here seem pretty reasonable and not especially selfish to me. Maybe we’re just generally lovely people in this group

Definitely my time on a Sunday. Without saying too much, it’s my only guaranteed me time and if you try to chop it down I get really cranky and blunt about it 😅

Not sure if this relates to selfishness. When I was in a new relationship (and finally felt happy after going through a depression) I could not be happy for other people to have a new lover. Because I finally felt happy again with something precious and didn't want others to have it as well.

That thumbnail tho 😆🤌

I’m a selfish poo about hotel rooms. I would rather bankrupt myself and everyone else than share a hotel room to save money

Selfish tends to have very negative connotations. My take: it’s selfish to have those boundaries, but a good type of selfish. That makes so much more sense in my head than seeing it typed out lol

chocolate 🍫 can't share...won't share.... Well okay I might share I piece with Joel, but just a small bit 😂

Some of these things are more about having boundaries than being selfish. I don’t think it’s necessarily selfish to want to eat food you bought, choose who to spend leisure time with or take time to decompress etc.

I’m definitely selfish and very choosy with my time. It’s finite and precious. And I’m too damn old to be wasting my minutes on frivolous, meaningless ish. ⏳

Same here

I'm most selfish about who I spend my time with. I'm pretty busy working full time and doing chores on my off days so I value my time and find that I feel more comfortable around those who share the same values and beliefs as myself.

❤️❤️

I gotchu

Friendships. Had some bad ones before. Can be hard for me to trust sometimes

I also answered in video comments, but time for sure. Actual conversation not too long ago Person: Hey Alle do you have a minute? Me: (Walking fast and clearly going somewhere) Nope sorry

for me it's food. I tend to get grumy when someone tries to take fries off my plate at a restuarant that im paying when they didn't feel like ordering their own.lol im an a hole

I answered in the video also but yeah my time and my space because I don't like being around people. If I talk to you or I let you near me I really like you

My car —-> my music. No exceptions!

I answered in the video comments 😅

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