Diaper Update 6/2021

One of the questions I got on my last update was: “How do you manage wearing 24/7 at work?” That’s a wonderful question. It’s one that I asked myself a lot when I first started going 24/7. There’s a lot of scenarios you run through your mind when you start. What happens at work is one of, if not the, scariest part about being 24/7. I think it’s obvious as to why. This is supposed to be a professional setting. Careers are important. These are the people you work with, and frankly their opinion of you matters. If they knew me as “that diaper chick” then I’d have to face social consequences for that.

A major mental barrier in staying 24/7 is accepting hard solutions to these problems. For me, I went though countless emotional conversations on how I’d deal with getting caught at work. Basically, before I even started wearing at work, I had to accept that people might find out. It’s honestly bound to happen. Bending over is common at work no matter what profession you’re in. Ladies dress pants aren’t exactly baggy. It’s easy to pick out panty lines in some clothes, let alone a Northshore Megamax. There’s also a very real chance I could leak through my diaper. I might also be in a difficult setting to deal with these problems. What if I’m in a small meeting and I leak? Giving a presentation? These are all things I’ve had to think about, and I’m still tweaking with even today.

I JUST started my new job a couple weeks ago. First I just want to say I love it. There are moments when it’s stressful, but for the most part, I really enjoy the work. Which is great because I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to in life. I also get to wear the clothes I’ve always wanted to while I’m doing it XD. Now how exactly do I pull it off?

1. Liquid intake. During the pandemic I became accustomed to how much I dribble over time. If I’m drinking a lot, I will go through an entire “regular diaper” (Megamaxs or Bambinos) within roughly 2-3 hours. Again, it entirely depends on how much I’m drinking. If you put more water into the wets-a-lot doll, she’s going to pee more. That’s me! So I try not to drink too much at work in general. I don’t drink coffee in the morning (I know, it’s a superpower I have mwhaha), so I try to hold off on drinking water until around 10 am. I have a water bottle that has the Liters marked on the side. I know that if I drink less than a liter over the course of being at work, I normally don’t worry at all about my diaper taking care of it. It does depend on how much I drink the day/night before, so even when I’m home I try to keep myself on a water diet.

2. Diaper Choice. Like I mentioned it’s difficult to conceal a bulky diaper sometimes. I wear a lot of dresses and skirts. When I’m in one of those I have no problem wearing a Megamax or whatever to work. If I wear pants, I actually wear Depends. I know. It’s crazy. But they are the sweet spot of not being too bulky, but they can still hold wettings. I always put a booster in it too. That being said though, I do have to change a lot…

3. Changes. I change a lot while I’m at work. I try to get at least three changes in during the morning, and the same amount in the afternoon. Six is certainly a lot, but I’ve found that keeps my diapers from getting too full. I rotate the bathrooms/lockers I change in. I work in a six-story office building. There are different organizations in each floor, but it’s not weird to use their bathrooms off the elevators. So what I do a lot is go to a floor that isn’t affiliated with me, and I’ll change in there. I don’t care too much then if I don’t notice someone is in there with me. I don’t work with them, and they don’t know who I am. It takes a lot of the stress off changes.

Is it worth it to go through all of this?

Hell yes.

I get so much joy from being in diapers all the time. Getting through the work barrier was tough, and there have been a couple close calls, but having general control of the situation makes me feel comfortable staying diapered at work. And I’m getting better at it. I love it. Everyday I wiggle my butt in my chair and smile. I’m in diapers. I feel like the kid who still wears diapers to school. That feeling alone is enough to keep me going.

It feels right being in diapers like this. It’s like gaining a limb back. I had a feeling of loss the moment I got out of diapers. Getting back into them full-time makes me feel complete. Especially at work. Because then it’s real. I don’t just wear them at home, I wear them everywhere. With friends, in public, at work. I do everything you do. I’m just in diapers.

I honestly think every AB/DL should consider it at this point. I know that’s kinda drastic to say. But I didn’t realize how much of this was a part of me until I started. It’s certainly not for everyone, but I think you’d be surprised how much you accept it once you start. It doesn’t have to be 24/7. It could be only at home or in private. That’s kinda how I started.

Another question I got recently was how my regressions have been, and what I do while I’m in baby mode. Another excellent question!

For me I want to go under. Like I want my self-identity to become that of a baby. When I look down at myself, I don’t want to see an adult woman. I want to see myself as a toddler to 0 years old. Typically, I age play around that 0 mark. It’s taken me years of mental conditioning to get into that headspace, but I’m getting super good at it.

In my head I’m almost meditating. I don’t have concrete thoughts. My monolog becomes gibberish. There are certainly instances where adult thoughts or words fly by, but I try really hard to let those go the moment I feel them. It’s never going to be a 100% mind dump. I don’t want to be permanently stupid (I know, sorry :<), but I like fantasizing that I am. I allow myself to think that I’ve always been dumb. Or that I never left diapers. I see my life as one continuous moment from babyhood to now. It’s so much fun.

I did a lot of unpotty training hypnosis when I first started my training. It had moments where it’d work, but in general I never felt like I actually lost the memories associated with it. Lately though, I started fooling around with it again. Holy shit. I don’t know if its because my brain has developed more, or if my continued use has helped, but I literally feel like I’ve lost my potty training sometimes lol. I’ve actually had to take a brake from it because it was screwing with me.

What I mean is, I’ve tried really hard at times to forget the memories associated with learning about the toilet. You can block any memories you want out of your life. The same thing applies to the bathroom. It’s crazy. When I come out of a trance, my favorite thing to do is take my diaper off, and walk over the toilet. I try as hard as I can to use it. 10/10 times I can’t. I stare at it, I touch it, but I genuinely do not know what to do with it. It just looks like a chair to me. I always end up peeing all over the floor, and it doesn’t even feel weird at all. My brain is like, “Yeah, I’m supposed to just go, sometimes it’s on the floor…” It’s the weirdest mental sensation of my life. Like I said it’s taken me a long time to even get into that mindset, but it’s certainly getting easier. If I listen to too much, I know it’ll screw with me for at least the rest of the day. I’m typically fine when I wake up though.

One last thing about the unpotty training hypnosis. Another thing I like to do is think about times in my life when I wasn’t wearing diapers, AFTER I’ve been hypnotized, and it’s so cool. I’ll think, “How did I use the bathroom in high school gym class?” And I cannot think of any other way than using my pants. When I think about how other people used the bathroom, I can’t imagine any other way then them going in their pants too. It’s amazing. I love it. Even if it is maybe messing with my mind long term… Lol. I guess that’s good for you guys and my writings.

Not too much about my physical untraining this month, but honestly there isn’t too much to report. Next month I’ll go more in depth with how my bowels have been loosening the past two months.

Thank you so much for reading, and for all the support! I love living. I love my job. And I love being in diapers. They’re all critical to my well-being at this point.

Stay Padded,

MC